Miley Cyrus Is Sorry That She Twerked Liam Hemsworth Away

By Travis November 05, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Liam Hemsworth already starred in three movies this year and has the new Hunger Games film coming out in two weeks, all while he’s also filming the next Hunger Games film in two parts. On top of that, he’s been dating Mexican actress Eiza Gonzalez, so if you asked Liam how he’s doing right now and he said something like, “Life is GOOD,” he would not be exaggerating. But his diaper fire of an ex-girlfriend, Miley Cyrus, is apparently still hung up on him, because she reportedly wrote him a love letter to apologize for pushing him away.

According to the Daily Mail, “As time has gone on and the anger subsided, Miley has really started to feel the pain of the split… Miley admitted to Liam she has pushed him away and said sorry for acting so mad.” Of course, it’s Miley Cyrus we’re talking about, so she probably had two transsexual prostitutes deliver the letter with a video of her dry humping a dead horse. Either way, the sexiest woman in the world is sad, y’all.

Photo Credit: Marcus Black/WENN.com

Miley Cyrus Posts ‘Pornkinzzz’ Photo To Twitter

By Lex October 31, 2013 @ 9:32 AM

Miley Cyrus Posts 'Pornkinzzz' Photo To Twitter
The Universe’s Hottest Piece of Tail Ever according to Maxim simply can’t stop being controversial. That little tacky-tongued marsupial went and posted pictures of pumpkins carved as weed and porn and the f-word to boot to her Twitter account. This is Millennial punk. I can only imagine the outrage this is going to cause parents of teen daughters who worry that their girls might start using vulgar language in their online jailbait chats with anonymous old men. Meanwhile, Miley Cyrus is not yet 21 and she’s fast approaching $200 million in net worth. So who’s the Jack O’Lantern with the shit-eating grin now?

Photo Credit: Miley Cyrus/Twitter

Miley Cyrus Is Lil Kim For Halloween

By Travis October 31, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Miley Cyrus revealed her Halloween costume on Instagram last night, and she went retro with her joy for showing off her titties and dressed as rapper Lil Kim from the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards. Did Miley pick this costume as a statement within a statement, as she, like Lil Kim before her, created scandal and controversy for the way she dressed at the typically boring MTV event? Or did she pick it because she really believes that she’s a black female rapper and this is just one of the final steps before she spends 12 hours in a tanning booth? I’m no psychic, but that second one feels pretty accurate.

Photo Credit: Miley Cyrus/Instagram, Twitter

Paris Hilton Was Miley Cyrus For Halloween

By Travis October 28, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Not only is Paris Hilton a brilliant, successful entrepreneur and businesswoman, and not only is she adored throughout the fashion world as a beautiful model and a symbol of class and elegance, and not only is she an incredibly talented music artist and DJ, but she’s also super hilarious, you guys. Paris showed up to Hugh Hefner’s Halloween party at the Playboy Mansion last night dressed as Miley Cyrus from the first half of her “history-making” performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, but she didn’t appear to have a Robin Thicke with her. “That’s okay,” Paris probably responded. “I’ll just grind my ass on every guy here until I find one or six.”

Photo Credits: WENN.com

Miley Cyrus Might Be A Diabolical Genius

By Travis October 23, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

What if Miley Cyrus has been dressing like a reject from a 1980s futuristic women’s prison movie for the past year or so because it’s all part of a master plan to trick us into thinking that she’s more attractive than she actually is? For example, maybe her whole reason for dressing like a slutty mermaid caught in a tuna net at the iHeartMusic radio festival was that so when she showed up to the 30th Annual Night Of Stars last night in New York City, we’d think, “You know what? That girl with the stupid dreamcatcher tattoo looks kind of okay.” It’s obviously not the best plan in the world, but it might explain why she’ll wear nothing but two Jack-o’-lanterns on her tits for Halloween and follow it up with an elegant gown at the BET Awards.

Photo Credits: Getty

All Is Well Between Miley And The Little People

By Travis October 18, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Last week, one of the little people employed by Miley Cyrus as a backup dancer complained that she felt exploited for having accepted money from the twerking singer to dress up as a bear and dance on stage. Of course, this was stupid, because fuck you, you were paid to do a job, you did it and you’ll do it again any time someone hands you a signed check. But Miley still wants people to know she’s not a heartless monster with an elementary school sense of humor, so she Tweeted this picture last night of her and the dwarven dancers having a slumber party and braiding each other’s hair.

Sure, minutes later she probably threw one of them into a mud pit before firing a pistol into the air and shouting, “Midget huntin’, y’all!” but the bottom line is that Miley still loves her bitches.