Mindy Kaling’s Brother An Ass

By Matt April 08, 2015 @ 7:34 AM

Bro

Mindy Kaling’s frat boy brother, Vijay Chokal-Ingam, pretended to be black in order to get into med-school. He shaved his head, trimmed his eyelashes, changed his name to Jojo, and refused to ever watch hockey. Vijay claims to have an ethical beef with the affirmative action programs present in school admissions since it promotes black applicants over other ethnic minorities although it’s highly possible he’s just a dumb liar as evidenced by the fact he dropped out of school after two years:

“When you are faced with racism, you have the choice to accept it or to defy those who discriminate against you. At the age of 22, I made the decision [to] defy those who would discriminate against me, lie and oppose affirmative action racism.”

The history of racism against the Indian American community seems to be relegated to the Apu character from The Simpsons. If the med schooladmissions boards are so racist why does every doctor I’ve ever had sounds like a Microsoft Customer Care rep and have a live elephant in the waiting room? Vijay claims to have great respect for the black civil rights activists who’d like to curb stomp him. He even did a 180 and claimed to have learned something about the black struggle from being the pudgiest shortest dicked black guy on record:

“Not everything worked out as planned. Cops harassed me. Store clerks accused me of shoplifting. Women were either scared of me or couldn’t keep their hands off me.”

Given you’re kind of a scumbag you were probably shoplifting and groping women. That’s why people were concerned. After dropping out of med school Vijay went on to attend business school at UCLA with his sub par grades. When will his people get a fair shake?

Photo Credit: AlmostBlack.com 

Mindy Kaling Confused for Nobel Prize Winner

By Lex October 28, 2014 @ 12:18 PM

Mindy-Kaling-in-the-street

Mindy Kaling was mistaken by an old drunk guy at a swank party for that 17-year old Pakistani girl who just won the Nobel Peace Prize for being shot in the head by the Taliban. You can only imagine the sickening feeling when some staggering geezer tells you you’re his hero and an amazing young woman and he prays for you. I’ve only been mistaken for somebody semi-famous once in my life. A drunk woman in a bar thought I was a relatively popular rising politician who she slurred was her hero. That case of superficial profiling and bathroom blow job that followed still sting me to this day.

People who make a living off racism had to point out the evil inherent in mistaking quite different looking women of subcontinental color. The kind of impassioned articles nobody writes when Dylan McDermott and Dermot Mulroney get mistakenly interchanged for the eleven thousandth time. It’s not actually racist to confuse two people of similar race. There’s plenty of scientific research that shows people have more trouble distinguishing facial characteristics among individuals of differing races than their own. This is why NBA players simply referred to every white guy on their team as Larry Bird for two decades.

Photo credit: Splash News

The Mindy Project Gets Anal

By Matt October 22, 2014 @ 6:04 AM

MK

Fox’s The Mindy Project made unnecessary and dull sitcom history by airing the first ever network episode about anal sex. The episodes title, “I slipped”, implies that her feckless Ob/Gyn boyfriend attempted to corn hole her without warning, which predictably irritated a host of feminists who are advocating for notarized contracts before two people make out. Mindy Kaling, the show’s creator who plays an annoying version of herself as the lead, offered an explanation:

“There was no sexual peril in there; it was not a situation where she felt unsafe or was objectified. She just was startled.”

Often when someone is startled they are in a compromising situation. However, without an element of surprise, sex and television are boring. Hence, a nice baiting of the feminist crowd pulled off by a sympathetic female who creates, produces, writes and stars on the show. Feel free to portray subject matter on national television which would get a dude fired from his job at Sonic Burger. This is the double standard we’ve all been waiting for. I look forward to Kaling receiving multiple Emmys for her upcoming snowballing episode.

Photo Credit: Getty Images 

Mindy Kaling Looks Like Death Warmed Over

By Steve G. May 20, 2013 @ 2:46 PM

Mindy Kaling With No Make Up At LAX

Maybe she got some tainted airplane food or slept inside a nuclear reactor, but Mindy Kaling of The Office did not look healthy walking through LAX. So don’t be surprised if you start hearing about pockets of zombie-like attacks breaking out around the country and her name gets thrown around as a possible patient zero.

Photo Credit: PCN