Jenna Dewan Tatum and Minnie Driver Are Almost Naked

By Lex April 22, 2014 @ 4:23 PM

Jenna Dewan Tatum Nude And Covered In The May 2014 Issue Of Allure
I don’t know who else is in here. Damn, I want to be Photoshopped like Minnie Driver. I could be a god. You can’t even see her brown tooth or that plate of St. Louis style ribs she ate in ’98 that stuck around her hips. Sorry, Minnie, please don’t quit Twitter again. There’s Channing Tatum’s wife. She looks good. Let’s be honest, we all thought he was gay. Nia Long, she’s in all those movies I don’t go to see because I’m too white, but she’s good looking even without the airbrushing. I saw her once at Whole Foods buying produce. I was buying those muffins that go bad in twenty minutes just like when muffins were awesome back in the 19th century and everybody died by forty. Kristen Bell. Hmm, her boobs got bigger. Must be God’s way of thanking her for doing so many profoundly good deeds. This Allure magazine is really the bomb. It’s like Maxim, but with good looking celebrities.

Photo Credit: Allure

Minnie Driver Quits Twitter

By Lex April 11, 2014 @ 12:22 PM

Minnie Driver Steps Out Of The Pool In A Bikini In Miami
Minnie Driver didn’t really like the unflattering comments she received on her recent bikini pictures so she’s leaving Twitter.

First off, boo fucking hoo. Criticism really is tragic. Here’s how social media works, Minnie. You are either naturally good looking in which case a ton of men will tell you how fucking hot you are all the time and assume you’re smiley face emoticons mean they will soon be boning you in their parents basement, or you build up an army of sycophants, estranged young cutters and tubbies who will back you blindly like you’re marching toward Jerusalem to free the Holy City. Your army is weak, Minnie Driver. So unless you start posting half naked selfies doing shots with your besties in Cancun, people are going to point out that your rose tattoo is a good six inches lower than when we last saw it a few years ago. Quitting Twitter is so 2012.

Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, Splash

Minnie Driver In A Bikini In Miami

By Lex April 09, 2014 @ 7:06 PM

Minnie Driver In A Floral Bikini At The Beach In Miami
Remember when Minnie Driver used to be the epitome of raw sexuality in Hollywood? When you’d lay in bed at night picturing her grotesquely brown tooth dripping with the byproduct of your lovemaking? Watching mediocre looking women slipping into slightly older mediocre women really is a hard process to endure. I do hear Minnie’s never been happier. Actually, no, I lied. I made that up so you’d feel better about how fall she’s fallen from a maybe five, to a high four. Why is God so cruel to the charming and talented?

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News, FameFlynet

Minnie Driver Is Where the Sun Will Never Find Her — The Beach

By Lex July 11, 2013 @ 10:30 AM

Minnie Driver In Bikini Bottoms On The Beach In Malibu
Minnie Driver is yet another one of the celebrities wearing those stupid Panama hats and oversized sunglasses and protective tops to shield her from the mindless killing machine that is El Sol. Here’s a thing, if you’re scared of the invisible death rays emitted by the blazing orb in the sky, how about hiding in a cave like the rest of the timid and weak. Get into your dark underground bunkers where skin cancer may never find you. Bunk up next to Angelina Jolie who’s having her outer three layers of derma removed as a preventative measure since melanoma runs in the family. Yes, she’ll have to live out her days in a bio-tank filled with anti-microbial gel, but maybe you can wheel her out on her birthdays to the see Pacific when El Sol is slumbering.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

THIS IS GROSS

By brendon August 26, 2008 @ 11:06 AM

The good news is that getting pregnant made Christian Slaters Minnie Drivers humongous head look relatively normal.  The bad news is everything else you see here.  The big fat ass, the tat, the stretch marks, the mole.  It's amazing she doesn’t have snakes for hair.