By Travis October 15, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Now that she has a lot of free time since her split with Victoria’s Secret, Miranda Kerr’s mornings are wide open for yoga, which I’m sure is very important to her Buddhist beliefs. It’s also pretty important to my beliefs, which are simply staring at women in tight yoga pants and tops while trying to use my brain power to make the clothes completely vanish. Sure, it sounds like a juvenile and misogynistic waste of time, but with the government still shut down, I can’t continue practicing my other belief of calling every politician a vapid, worthless shit stain. So thanks, Miranda, for giving me something to work toward each day.
Photo Credit: Miranda Kerr’s Instagram
By Lex September 30, 2013 @ 11:02 AM
Photo Credit: Splash, WENN
By Lex September 20, 2013 @ 1:21 PM
I guess Orlando Bloom was a thing for the ladies when he was swashbuckling in Pirates, now he’s doing Romeo and Juliet on Broadway and putting around town with his motorcycle helmet pretending that his hot wife is not soon to be banging another man. I might be reading too much into this, but this marriage is about three years into a five year max shelf life. Miranda Kerr will be just fine. Orlando Bloom will be doing puppet theater in the park by 2017. The hot woman with the nice tits will win. They always do.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com
By Lex September 09, 2013 @ 6:33 PM
I don’t know why more women don’t show off their bare boobs. What’s the worst that could happen? You hear a few catty comments from other women. Maybe the church defrocks you. But, you get so much in return. A virtual queen of your dominion. You know how often men turn down even the most demanding request of a topless woman? Between never and basically never. Go for it, ladies. Ditch the bras, flash the tits, and watch a world of opportunities open up. If you’re not sure whether you have the knockers to pull this off, send me a picture. I’ll get back to all the ‘yeses’.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Getty
By Lex August 28, 2013 @ 2:01 PM
I’m not sure why the blond farm girl is carrying store bought eggs through the field, but if you start questioning that, you’ve got to start wondering why she’s wearing lingerie in the field or topless in the barn. Then you’ve just gone and ruined one perfectly good masturbation fantasy.
Photo Credit: V Magazine
By Lex June 25, 2013 @ 3:39 PM
I remember the day I up and decided I was leaving home. My parents, friends, the whole neighborhood. They all said I’d never make it out on my own. Since I was 27, this was pretty fucking sad. But the point is. I did make it. And without having to do ‘anal on the streets’, like my Uncle Zol had predicted. It’s scary leaving familiar settings. Forging your own path. I was kind of like Miranda Kerr leaving Victoria’s Secret. Only she left with fifteen million in her pocket and a contract to make even more elsewhere. So nothing at all like Miranda Kerr. Or like any guy who will ever sleep with Miranda Kerr. More like a moderately to low-moderately successful tie salesman. Which was a far worse outcome than doing anal on the streets.
Here’s Miranda Kerr in Edit magazine. She’s not a bad looking woman.
Photo Credit: Edit Magazine