If you’re an excitable nerd I mean cool guy like I am, you have tons of sex with many beautiful ladies. More to the point, you have Apple and Yahoo and Trailer Addict all bookmarked because movie trailers are cool.
So today was big because the long awaited trailer for Tron: Legacy is out, as well as a second trailer for Iron Man 2. This one spends more time on the great Sam Rockwell, but more importantly it has Scarlett Johansson arching her back.
This is about as good as it gets lately because she stopped being slutty fun when she hooked up with that goody-goody Mr. Perfect, Ryan Reynolds. Based on that and that alone, I feel like Canada should be considered our mortal enemy from now until they divorce.
The full length trailer for ‘Avatar’ is finally online (hosted here by trailer addict. you can dl it in HD from yahoo) and it gives you a better idea of the visuals and the story. It looks amazing but I hope it doesn’t turn into some thinly-veiled “no blood for oil” political nonsense. Can I just watch a GD movie please? Can Hollywood please stop lecturing me for 5 minutes? Besides, what’s so bad about blood for oil. I need oil. It runs all my stuff. And the people in the Middle East have tons of it but they’re being dicks about it. It’s not like they made it. Solar power or green power or whatever would be great but we don’t have it yet and I’m not gonna live like a raccoon washing my food in the river until we do. Luckily I have a plan to end the oil crisis once and for all:
Heath Ledger had finished about half of his scenes for “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” when he died on January 22nd of last year, but thankfully his final work was salvaged by having Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell play Ledgers character in various incarnations. Luckily this is a Terry Gilliam movie so I’m sure shit like that will seem perfectly reasonable as it happens. This is the brand new trailer and it looks okay, but if it doesn’t have teen vampires moping around and getting into love triangles, how good could it really be? What a piece of shit! Why did they even bother?!
This is gonna be dumb because it’s basically a love letter to ninjas and Donald Glover. First Glover, because that dude is a GD genius. He’s the black guy from Derrick Comedy. Their detective movie has a new trailer, but don’t watch that one because it sucks. Watch this awesome one, and find out who fucked the bread. Donald plays Jason, and also Jasons father, in a twist that will blow your mind. He also wrote the song. He’s a writer on “30 Rock” now, and he stars with Joel McHale on the new NBC show “Community”. But he’s not the only one with an impressive resume. I was state champion in pushups, and this morning I drew a bunny on a surfboard.
I’m not good at segues, so the kick-ass trailer up top is for “Ninja Assassin”, produced by the Wachowski Brothers and starring a Korean guy as a Japanese guy because white people don’t know the difference.
SHERLOCK HOLMES – the first trailer for “Sherlock Holmes”, starring Robert Downey Jr., Rachel McAdams, Jude Law and written/directed by Guy Ritchie, broke today. It seems a lot like the old Sherlock Holmes, except Guy Ritchie-r.
KATE HUDSON – was “making out” with Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez in a bar around 1am Friday night. He filed for divorce then dated Madonna last year, but he met Hudson six months ago in Miami at a hotel grand opening. He’s only hitting .188 this season (his career average is .310) but I bet the fans will appreciate that he’s keeping himself busy outside of baseball and not reverting to using steroids again. Idle hands are the devils workshop. (source = ny post)
JESSICA BIEL – says her good looks are hurting her career and she’s not even allowed to audition for some parts because she’s too sexy. It’s sad but true. When is a good looking white girl finally gonna catch a break in Hollywood? (source = us.com)