Reese Witherspoon Was Arrested

By Travis April 22, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Reese Witherspoon was arrested on Friday morning in Georgia after her husband, James Toth, was pulled over for suspicion of driving while intoxicated, and while it seems strange that someone as squeaky clean as Witherspoon would be arrested when her man was doing all the dirty work, it turns out that she might be a complete bitch.

While the officers were taking care of business with Toth, Witherspoon allegedly got a little high and mighty, leading to her arrest for disorderly conduct. According to the police report, Witherspoon broke out the A+ diva routine.

“Mrs. Witherspoon began to hang out the window and say that she did not believe that I was a real police officer…”

According to the report, she “stated that she was a ‘US citizen’ and that she was allowed to ‘stand on American ground.’”

“Mrs. Witherspoon asked, “Do you know my name?” I answered, “No, I don’t need to know your name.” I then added, “right now.” Mrs. Witherspoon stated, “You’re about to find out who I am.”

“Mrs. Witherspoon also stated, ‘You are going to be on national news.’ I advised Mrs. Witherspoon that was fine.” (Variety)

It’s a shame she wasn’t tazed. That officer would have received a parade.

Flavor Flav Is Looking At 12 Years In Prison

By Travis April 12, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

On one hand, it’s nice to know that Public Enemy hype man Flavor Flav is still alive. On the other hand, it sucks to find that out because he’s heading to trial to face felony charges of assault and child endangerment, related to an incident from last October. Flav (real name: William Drayton, Jr.) allegedly threw his girlfriend of eight years, Elizabeth Trujillo, to the ground during an argument, and then all shit hit the fan when her 17-year old son came to her rescue.

Flav allegedly grabbed a butcher’s knife, as well as a steak knife and pizza cutter, and threatened to stab the boy as he chased him to his bedroom. Flav’s lawyers tried to avoid a trial by arguing that his actions all came in self-defense, because Trujillo’s son, who is 6-3 and 200 pounds, had the tiny rapper in a headlock. However, the judge still felt there was enough evidence to go to trial.

Flav faces 12 years in prison if found guilty, but it’s cool because he can just have Brigitte Nielsen smuggle him cigarettes, a TV, king-sized bed, large birthday cake, Volkswagen Beetle and the entire New York Knicks roster in her vagina in case he gets bored.

Justice Is Served

By Travis March 08, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Last June, 22-year old high school cheerleading coach Megan Crafton was arrested on charges of child seduction, which sounds like a horrible, heinous offense. But the “child” in question was a 17-year old student at Shelbyville High School and the “seduction” was blowing him in a grocery store parking lot.

To their credit, the Shelbyville police were perfect wingmen, “investigating” the improper relationship for several months before finally putting an end to it. And now the swift hammer of justice has been dropped on Crafton, who cut a plea deal with the prosecution.

Under the terms of the plea deal, Megan Crafton pleaded guilty to dissemination of matter or conducting performance harmful to minors, a felony, but will avoid having to register as a sex offender.

Crafton will now be on probation for the next 12 months, and must complete 25 hours of community service. If she successfully completes her probation, Crafton may apply to have the charge against her reduced to a misdemeanor. (NY Daily News)

It’s hard enough for teenage girls to deal with peer pressure, self-confidence, bullying and image expectations, but then this hot 22-year old was shaking her ass all over the high school grounds part-time and blowing this guy like it was nobody’s business.

Meanwhile, that 17-year old student never has to leave Shelbyville for the rest of his life. If he wants a job, car, free meal or a round of drinks, all he has to do is whip out Crafton’s mug shot, point at his crotch and say, “That was me.” They should at least name that parking lot after him.

Mel Gibson is photogenic

By brendon March 17, 2011 @ 1:09 PM

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Mel Gibson turned himself in to the El Segundo police department last night to be booked after his no contest plea last week, and here’s his totally-not-a-crazy-guy mugshot. The real story took place seconds after this was taken, because when the bulb flashed he was startled and grew angry, then jumped up on his chair and hissed like a threatened monkey. True Story!

50 Cent says to blame it all on TI’s wife

By brendon September 03, 2010 @ 4:05 PM

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When T.I. and his visually disturbing wife Tiny Cottle were arrested in West Hollywood Wednesday night for possession of a controlled substance, reportedly marijuana and meth, it was a clear violation of his probation, and as the LA Times says, “the case has the potential to put one of music’s top names in behind bars yet again.”

Ahh, but wait just one second, because 50 Cent went on twitter with a magic solution…

Man TI and Tiny done got picked up again for methamphetmines and ecstasy dam man. Tiny gotta take that charge. Say it was yours baby.

If Tiny doesn’t volunteer, T.I. should just blame her anyway. I don’t know if they’re friends, or if rap guys have a problem taking advice from one another, but T.I. should listen to 50. Just the fact that he never married anyone that ugly already makes him a thousand times smarter than T.I.

lindsay lohans mugshot

By brendon July 20, 2010 @ 4:25 PM

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Lindsay Lohans mugshot and booking info have finally been released, and just like in court she looks stoned off her ass. What do you have, scoliosis? Sit up straight bitch.