Naomi Campbell And Kate Moss In Bikinis

By Lex June 30, 2014 @ 11:06 AM

Kate Moss AndNaomi Campbell In Bikinis In Ibiza
The League of Extraordinarily Faded Supermodels met in Ibiza, Spain over the weekend where the city celebrated by declaring a 24-hour duty free amnesty for importing harsh cigarettes from Northern Africa. Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell and other big names in staring blankly into the distance arrived to share fond memories of being young and sexually exploited. At some point, the models combined into a Megazord that defeated Barbary Coast pirates trying to invade the beach. At least, that’s how the aging models remember it after a few scotches and the blue pills Naomi shared from her stylish yet practical Gucci clutch.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Naomi Campbell Marches to Put Herself Out of Business

By Lex March 10, 2014 @ 3:28 PM

Naomi Campbell And Celebrities Participate In March For Awareness for Violence Against Women In New York
Nobody really favors beating women. At least, not out loud. But if anybody knows something about assaulting women, it’s Naomi Campbell. She was born with an incredible skill for abusing female subordinates with implements of her modeling world — cell phones, pagers, personal organizers, and various items of personal hair care. She’s been arrested several times for such offenses, convicted, settled lawsuits, and even been banned from British Airways for life, which is particularly relevant when you’re British. I guess nobody was more shocked to see Naomi at the front of the U.N. march to end violence against women in New York City than her various assault victims, still feeling the twinge from their particular personal electronic device beatings. I guess this is Naomi’s way of showing she’s turned over a new leaf. Or, like the sinisterly intelligent pedophile who climbs to the tops of the Boy Scout leadership ranks, she’s just found a fertile hunting ground for new victims. Nobody expects a Galaxy S to the cranium at a U.N. Peace Rally. I know they don’t match your Hermes scarves, but if you know what’s good for you, ladies, you’d don the blue peacekeeper helmets.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, WENN

Naomi Campbell In A Blue Bikini At The Beach In Kenya

By Lex December 30, 2013 @ 1:10 PM

Naomi Campbell In A Blue Bikini At The Beach In Kenya

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splash

Naomi Campbell In A Bikini

By Lex August 08, 2013 @ 10:37 AM

Naomi Campbell In A White Bikini At The Beach In Marbella
Naomi Campbell isn’t bad looking when she’s not currently beating you with her Blackberry. She does like to whack people with her cell phones. I think she’s done it about a half-dozen times, though mostly just to her submissive female employees, so in a way, that makes it kind of hot.

Here’s Naomi on vacation in a bikini in Spain. People are saying she looks great for 43. That sucks for Naomi. When your looks get qualified with your age, you don’t look like a supermodel anymore.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Three of These Fashionistas Will Suck Your Dick Without Complaining

By Lex July 01, 2013 @ 5:15 PM

Women who are into fashion bore me. I’m not saying it’s any worse than men who are really into sports. But it’s certainly more expensive. I understand that basic human desire to look good to the opposite sex. But that’s not really the point of fashion. If women asked men what to wear they’d always get the ‘take it all off, baby’ advice. The girls would giggle and say, no, silly, tell me what you really think. Then the guys would have to scramble because that was what they were really thinking.

Here’s Uma Thurman, Mena Suvari, and Emma Roberts at the Versace Fashion Show in Paris. I can’t think of a place I’d rather not be more than a fashion show in Paris. And I once lived in Ohio.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin, FameFlynet

Leonardo DiCaprio Is Breaking Up Relationships

By Travis May 03, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Let’s play hypothetical – let’s say that you’re a 50-year old billionaire, and for the last five years you’ve been (presumably) happily dating a 42-year old supermodel, who is also incredibly wealthy and still manages to keep it tight. Then Leonardo DiCaprio comes along and he invites you to come party with him on his giant sex yacht that is filled with 20-year old, horny models that all left their tops at home and just can’t stop giving people handjobs for shopping cash.

Do you – A) Stay faithful to your girlfriend? B) Tell her to hit the bricks, because you’re Leo’s BFF now? C) Buy an army of sex robots and conquer Australia? Well, while C is certainly the best option, Russian billionaire Vladislav Doronin is leaning closer to B for now, as the Daily Mail reported that his relationship with Naomi Campbell is on the rocks due to his party lifestyle and, more notably, his friendship with DiCaprio.

While I certainly feel for Campbell (seen above with DiCaprio and Doronin at the International Tiger Conservation Forum in 2010), she is well past due for her dating someone half her age phase, so this really just works out for everyone.

(Photo Credit: Getty)