By Lex October 02, 2015 @ 1:16 PM
Europeans are much more progressive when it comes to nudity and sexuality. Guys who wear kimonos and attend BDSM fetish events love to say shit like this. It basically boils down to having tits on television and in magazines without having to circle the fainting couch because Procter and Gamble doesn’t tolerate bare breasts. Not publicly. Privately, everybody loves a naked lady. The more they protest publicly, the more they like it privately. You sick self-hating kinky fuck. Why do I have to go to France to see topless women at the newsstand? Obama, get up on your fucking podium and announce an end to inexplicable tit censorship. Free the nipple. Fuck that, free the entire tit. This is America. How can we be behind in any mindless entertainment category?
Photo Credit: Lui Magazine
By Lex September 17, 2015 @ 1:10 PM
Facebook and Instagram specifically has a policy against women showing their completely bare tits that has left some feminist activists flummoxed and opened the door for celebrity bandwagon self-promotion.
We know that there are times when people might want to share nude images that are artistic or creative in nature, but for a variety of reasons, we don’t allow nudity on Instagram. This includes photos, videos, and some digitally-created content that show sexual intercourse, genitals, and close-ups of fully-nude buttocks.
I’m glad you feel my pain. I really really do need to share my nudes, but I understand you have a variety of reasons and that sounds like more than two but probably less than five.
The Free the Nipple campaign is supposed to be about the righteous principle that chicks with flabby hangers should have the same completely unnecessary topless rights as dudes who jog in residential areas and pretend that removing their tank top helps their primo workout. On social media, this has translated to a whole bunch of female celebrities you have no interest in seeing topless baring their nipples and waiting to be shut down by Instagram and claiming injustice. It seems far more complicated than just posting to Twitter where you can post yourself butt naked fucking a goat and you’ll get blind retweets, but then you don’t understand drive-by feminism.
Naomi Campbell posted a picture of her tits to Instagram and claimed it under the Free the Nipple hashtag. Though even within her own political activism she noted the photo is from a new pictorial and editorial piece coming out in Garage magazine. You know Rosa Parks was pushing her handcraft jade jewelry once she got a name. Unlike most glaringly topless photos, or anything I’ve ever posted to social media ever, Naomi’s post never got removed. It’s unclear if this is because she’s black or really famous or really famous and black or if Mark Zuckerberg was just out of the interferon pills he takes to face female tits without seizure to render judgement.
The offending photo was finally was removed today. The world is a better place without women’s breasts to ruin it. It’s not as if Facebook and ISIS have the same beliefs just because they both cringe at the site of tits, have plans for world domination, and are currently using cheap Middle Eastern labor to run their operations.
By Lex December 17, 2014 @ 9:06 AM
Photo Credit: Agent Provocateur
By Lex June 30, 2014 @ 11:06 AM
The League of Extraordinarily Faded Supermodels met in Ibiza, Spain over the weekend where the city celebrated by declaring a 24-hour duty free amnesty for importing harsh cigarettes from Northern Africa. Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell and other big names in staring blankly into the distance arrived to share fond memories of being young and sexually exploited. At some point, the models combined into a Megazord that defeated Barbary Coast pirates trying to invade the beach. At least, that’s how the aging models remember it after a few scotches and the blue pills Naomi shared from her stylish yet practical Gucci clutch.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex March 10, 2014 @ 3:28 PM
Nobody really favors beating women. At least, not out loud. But if anybody knows something about assaulting women, it’s Naomi Campbell. She was born with an incredible skill for abusing female subordinates with implements of her modeling world — cell phones, pagers, personal organizers, and various items of personal hair care. She’s been arrested several times for such offenses, convicted, settled lawsuits, and even been banned from British Airways for life, which is particularly relevant when you’re British. I guess nobody was more shocked to see Naomi at the front of the U.N. march to end violence against women in New York City than her various assault victims, still feeling the twinge from their particular personal electronic device beatings. I guess this is Naomi’s way of showing she’s turned over a new leaf. Or, like the sinisterly intelligent pedophile who climbs to the tops of the Boy Scout leadership ranks, she’s just found a fertile hunting ground for new victims. Nobody expects a Galaxy S to the cranium at a U.N. Peace Rally. I know they don’t match your Hermes scarves, but if you know what’s good for you, ladies, you’d don the blue peacekeeper helmets.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, WENN