By Lex March 11, 2014 @ 2:40 PM
There doesn’t seem to be many job options for Australian girls outside of bikini model. I think there’s also morning talk show host, beauty pageant contestant, and widow of Steve Irwin. That’s the gamut. If you get the bikini model gig, you get to travel the world and eventually marry a dude with money in real estate. If you don’t make it one of these prime categories, they just drop you Hunger Games in the bush and the kangaroos and dingos eat you. It’s a fucking vicious circle of life in a nation populated by former convicts. It’s like Northern Ohio, but with sunshine and winning sports franchises.
Photo Credit: Splash News
By Lex February 19, 2014 @ 6:47 PM
Those bikini girls famous on Instagram are back again. I can’t be bothered to figure out who is who. It’s like people with identical kids. I’m sorry you pumped the missus full of hormones and zoygotes, but that doesn’t make it my obligation to figure out which of your cross-eyed triplets is Kassidy. That’s not even a real name. Obviously, if I had a chance at either of these girls, I’d learn their names, favorite restaurants, and the minimum amount of foreplay they require before the sex that men care about can begin. But I don’t, so they’re just those two bikini girls famous on Instagram. You know how to Google while you masturbate, you look it up.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News
By Lex February 17, 2014 @ 5:34 PM
Natasha Oakley is a fashion blogger with some solid wardrobe advice for the young ladies. Like, try to have parents who are models, get yourself some great tubes, and live on a famous beach. It also helps if you have your days free to workout and tan. It’s not the kind of fancy direction you might get from the cackling hens on The Fashion Police, but it’s bound to get you to where you need to be fashion wise.
Photo Credit: Splash