By Lex October 31, 2014 @ 9:35 AM
Naya Rivera knows there are kids in need of some UNICEF somewhere in this world. She doesn’t fool around. Tits, ass, no underwear, now are you feeling generous, you global pillaging American one-percenter? I typically earmark my United Nations contributions toward the legal bills of U.N. representatives who go too far with escorts in New York hotels. Also, to some of their more convoluted anti-Semitic undertakings. But I can spare a little coin for Naya Rivera’s flesh pockets. Kids in famine stricken countries in Africa can’t live off Madonna baby bribe money alone. I just cut a check. Now I’m going to lower my global citizen pants and rub one out to Naya’s boobs. Everybody wins.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Lex July 23, 2014 @ 2:13 PM
Last time we checked in with Naya Rivera, she was denying she had new tits and her fiance Big Sean was bolting because she was trying to install GPS ankle monitoring devices on his rapper cock. I think that’s a compliment in disguise. She had a wedding date of July 19th but nobody to marry, so she hooked up with a struggling actor named Ryan Dorsey she met several years back in Hollywood and married him on the 19th instead. Non-refundable caterer deposits. You’ve got to marry somebody
Dorsey told Cosmo that he loves when women wear “leggings or tights,” and prefers the “Brazilian” grooming style down below. — Ryan Dorsey, deep thoughts
Ryan seems like a winner. He also claims he doesn’t snore and he’s got some sweet abs. I’ve known plenty of people who’ve gotten married with less compelling circumstances. Naya, you keep your bush shaved and your ass in those Lululemons and you could easily make it a solid couple of years.
Photo Credit: Galore
By Lex June 13, 2014 @ 9:30 AM
I’m not sure why actresses still feel the need to lie about getting fake titties. Naya Rivera went through some contortions to explain how the shifting secant patterns in global ocean currents led to her breasts becoming naturally larger. Nobody’s buying it and nobody’s turning off Glee because they’re ashamed of your enhancement surgeries. They’re turning off Glee because they’re men who got deprogrammed at Jesus hates gays camp or they accidentally pressed any other numbers on their remote and found something better to watch. Or because Lea Michele phoned one million Glee fans and told them you’re a jealous fame whore who wished Dead Cory Monteith to hell. I assure you it’s not the bigger tits.
Photo Credit: Galore Magazine
By Lex May 07, 2014 @ 5:07 PM
I need to remind myself not to believe everything I read online. Especially the baseless shit I write myself on here. First Kim Kardashian turns out not to be re-re-married yet and now Naya Rivera wasn’t booted from Glee because Lea Michele was jealous of her new big tits. Or for any other reason. Naya’s very own truth telling spoke people confirmed that Naya is still on contract with Glee for next season. Also, that Naya is still signed to Columbia records despite rumors I invented that Lea had her ousted from that as well. In fact, my entire theory that Lea Michele is a jealous vindictive shrill horrible diva is in question. She’s probably an easy going best friend type of girl. She and Naya probably get fro-yo together and giggle about boys they’re seeing who are still alive. If Naya went down to Cabo like Lea Michele did earlier this year and snapped bikini selfies in poses just like Lea did, but with a much more womanly bodym and posted them to Instagram, it’s probably an inside joke the two laugh over at the commissary table on set. The table with the missing knife.
Photo Credit: Naya Rivera/Instagram
By Lex May 01, 2014 @ 12:48 PM
A new pair of fake cans can get you far in this world, unless you’re working on Glee with a demo that could care less about tits. Naya Rivera might have been better served to stand up for animal rights or march for gay marriage or have the pain of Dead Cory Monteith to rise above, because that’s what Lea Michele did and she’s still standing. Despite reported onset feuds between Naya and Lea, publicists around the show are quick to point out the Lea had nothing to do with Naya being terminated, which can only mean that’s it’s largely true. It’s not unusual for one actress to become the queen bitch of any TV show set, but historically it’s always been the naughty looking girl with the biggest tits. Just like in the rest of the world. Hollywood is changing. For the worse.
Photo Credit: Getty, Bongo
By Jack April 11, 2014 @ 12:50 PM
Glee star and spicy empanada Naya Rivera seems to be the reason she and Big Sean broke up. The fairy tale romance ended this week when Big Sean’s publicist released a statement saying he kicked her fine ass to the curb. Rumor has it that the reason was because she is a crazy controlling succubus with hypnotically empowered new titties. Apparently, Naya demanded to know where Sean was at all times, was constantly texting and calling him, and was pathologically jealous of any woman he worked with. She would threaten to ruin his career if he didn’t oblige her insecurities She also Tweeted an accusation saying that Big Sean had stolen her Rolexes. Why would a rich dude steal a tiny woman’s Rolex? To use it as a $5000 cock ring that tells time? It just goes to show you that women be crazy at all socio-economic levels. Thanks to the feminist movement, you can now find girls who will cut your dick off in your sleep working anywhere from graveyard shift at the donut shop all the way up to corporate CEOs. If I were Big Sean I’d beef up my security. A dick is the kind of thing you want to keep around until at least fifty.