Glee star and spicy empanada Naya Rivera seems to be the reason she and Big Sean broke up. The fairy tale romance ended this week when Big Sean’s publicist released a statement saying he kicked her fine ass to the curb. Rumor has it that the reason was because she is a crazy controlling succubus with hypnotically empowered new titties. Apparently, Naya demanded to know where Sean was at all times, was constantly texting and calling him, and was pathologically jealous of any woman he worked with. She would threaten to ruin his career if he didn’t oblige her insecurities She also Tweeted an accusation saying that Big Sean had stolen her Rolexes. Why would a rich dude steal a tiny woman’s Rolex? To use it as a $5000 cock ring that tells time? It just goes to show you that women be crazy at all socio-economic levels. Thanks to the feminist movement, you can now find girls who will cut your dick off in your sleep working anywhere from graveyard shift at the donut shop all the way up to corporate CEOs. If I were Big Sean I’d beef up my security. A dick is the kind of thing you want to keep around until at least fifty.
They’re pretty nice, but for some reason Naya Rivera, that chick on Glee whose character had a boob job, is denying the presence of foreign intervention on what looks to be a suddenly much larger chest. I only know her tits are suddenly big because she posted a photo of them on Instagram, just to make sure nobody noticed. Now she’s got all her reps and minions lapping up E! balls and insisting her chest remains 100% natural. Because I guess it matters. Her people claim that her profoundly larger looking tits are the result of a padded bra. Apparently, this is that bra the world’s greatest scientists have been perfecting secretly in caves beneath an ancient castle in Slovakia, waiting for the moment they could slowly leak it out to the small tittied general public. Very much like Led Zeppelin did with their earlier albums, though I bet less British models got railed in the battlements. Congratulations, men of science.
Naya Rivera is the obligatory sexy Latina on that TV show Glee that I mostly have to know about now since Cory Monteith overdosed in Vancouver. She seems to be doing far better than Cory at the moment. Though with the amount of photoshopping in this Complex magazine shoot, she could have actually passed three years ago from a horrible tractor accident and you wouldn’t be able to tell.
Photo Credit: Complex
If there’s one thing I hate, it’s hypocrisy. Well, hypocrisy and canned tuna fish. I’m sorry, I know you love fish that comes compressed in a can, but it’s simply not natural. But I don’t have to eat it, I do have to swallow the hypocrisy of corporate America by way of a bunch of really backwards thinking people who believe that seeing naked chicks onscreen or in magazines will be the ruin of us all. They see bare tits and reflexively drop to their knees to genuflect for Judgement Day. Which is cool, just stop dragging everybody with you. I don’t want to see magazines where girls I like from TV are naked but twisted around so you can’t see their fun parts. What’s the point of that? Put some clothes on, or take them off, this hypocrisy in the middle is worse than canned fish.
Here’s Christa Miller, Naya Rivera, Jennifer Morrison, and Clare Bowen not showing their nipples or vaginas.
Photo Credit: Allure Magazine
If you’re like me, you’re too busy doing man stuff like fixing your car with a mallet and playing tackle football without pads and making love to many people online you believe to be women to have time to catch a show like Glee. You’re not the demo. But the thing about the shows not for guys is they tend to have lots of girls on them you wish you knew better. And what better way to get to know a woman than seeing her naked. Well, almost naked, Allure is a woman’s magazine. Women don’t like to see other vaginas, unless they’re women who love vaginas, in which case they’re reading the same magazines as you and I.