Floyd Mayweather Hopeless Romantic

By Matt June 02, 2015 @ 7:20 AM

MEMM

Floyd Mayweather’s ex-fiancee Shantel Jackson is suing the shit out of him in between bouts of porking Nelly. Who says women can’t get ahead in the world without getting punched in the head and fucking a rapper. Included in court documents are a marriage proposal Mayweather allegedly sent her via tex message which offered his undying love should negotiations go according to plan:

“This is what I offer to you. Let’s get married move in together you can go back in forth to L.A and stay at the condo. I promise I will get you in 3 A list movies this year and I’m willing to go to counseling to make us work and you can get the stuff you want and I’m willing to change but I need you to have a better attitude.”

I’m pretty sure Hollywood frowns upon straight men and most certainly doesn’t take heed from woman beaters. You’d have better luck negotiating a cameo in Aloha for Kim Jong un’s sister. She plays the caterer. Jackson rejected the proposal as it seemed inauthentic given that Mayweather is illiterate and clearly teaching Robert Shapiro how to send his first text. Tyler Perry’s movies are A-List in the same way as the Zapruder film although Oswald did far less damage to the American psyche. I wish the two of them luck. It’s a good thing Mayweather lives in Vegas. Far less clock towers and the windows are sealed.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

Nelly Packing Meth

By Matt April 13, 2015 @ 8:55 AM

nel

Nelly’s tour bus was pulled over in Tennessee because police suspected there was no reason for Nelly to be on tour. Also, the bus was out of date on its Department of Transportation sticker 17A(3) which certifies you paid the government for sticker 17A(3) and you’re an official knight of the realm. In Nelly’s tour bus the cops found some meth and a bunch of stoned entourage dudes with warrants and weapons. They found zero musical instruments. The pretense for the stop seems dubious. Nelly likely gets some suspended jail time and simultaneously diverts his Hot in Herre royalties to the courthouse renovation fund for a couple years. Meanwhile, the Biloxi Sheraton will have to find some new lobby entertainment for their complimentary wine hour and early morning drive by and bagels.

Photo Credit: Tn.gov

Cleveland Kidnap Victim Cheered On By Cleveland Concert Crowd (VIDEO)

By Lex July 29, 2013 @ 4:54 PM


You go, Cleveland. Amanda Berry was one of the three girls kept locked in the basement of Cleveland bus driver Ariel Castro’s house for a decade. Which seemed really kind of impossible given all the police presence for crime on the block, nosey neighbors, relatives, and whatnot through the years, none of whom noticed anything unusual. So, maybe Clevelanders aren’t going to be the ones to ID the next terrorist group before they go live, but they do know how to rock and roll. So when Amanda got up on stage at a Cleveland music fest and introduced and serenaded by Nelly, it was one special moment. I doubt it made up for ten years of kidnap, torture, and abuse, but it had to come close.

Photo Credit: Twitter

NELLY INVOLVED WITH NBA GUNFIGHT

By brendon February 19, 2007 @ 3:09 PM

Las Vegas police are investigating a shooting at a strip club that was hosting a post NBA All-Star Game party.  Several celebrities were in attendance including rapper Nelly.  Eyewitnesses say a fight broke out after the celebrities threw thousands of dollar bills onto the strip club stage just before 5am this morning.  According to police, the club's security escorted everyone outside.  Minutes later there were five gunshots.  Police say three people have been shot, two are in critical condition.  Police are also investigating a shooting inside the parking garage at the MGM Grand that took place just before 4am and is thought to be related to the All Star Game.  One person was shot in the hip and is expected to recover.   Las Vegas police are reporting 300 people involved in NBA related festivities have been arrested since Thursday.  Police also say it's about god dammed time rappers and dudes from the NBA went to a gun range and got a little practice.  3 people shot with 5 bullets is like the best percentage ever recorded for a rap star gunfight.  Normally they couldn't hit the Statue of Liberty if you gave them an AK-47 and 6 hours.  This shooter shouldn't be arrested, he should be  immortalized.  The mayor should give him the key to the city on the stairs of a courthouse or put his picture on a coin. 

(the pictures are Christina at halftime of the all-star game)