Mariah Carey went on her twitter page this morning and posted a picture of her and her husband Nick Cannon in a hospital bed in Aspen as he recovers from a mild kidney failure. She explained more over on her blog:

“We’re trying to be as festive as possible under the circumstances but please keep Nick in your thoughts because this is very painful. They tried to kick me out of the hospital but here I am pon de bed with Mr. C.”
“We’re doing OK but we’re ’straaaaaanded in Aspen’ … the truth is as long as we’re together, we’re OK. I’m not trying to make light out of the situation because it’s a serious moment that’s very tough on all of us so please keep us and our family in your prayers. LYM.”

I’m not positive how this works but wouldn’t my prayers for him to recover be cancelled out by the ones I already made for him to get really sick and spend his days in agony?

Last Thursday, Nick Canon told Piers Morgan that he and Mariah Carey were visited by child protective services because someone told them that Mariah was drinking while breast feeding their new twins.

The truth is she wasn’t, Mariah did nothing wrong, and this simple formality would have been quickly resolved except that Nick Cannon is an asshole. He told Morgan…

“It all started when a nurse suggested to my wife that if you drink Guinness, the dark beer, the yeast improves breastfeeding … I don’t know if someone heard that, but then they were saying my wife was drinking beer. People will do anything to try to conjure up a story.
“Then when I spoke to the person from Child Protection Services, [they said], ‘This is ridiculous, we’re going to make sure this isn’t the case.’ To even have to deal with that, my wife in the state that she’s in, we’re in the hospital, to even have to think about someone possibly wanting to investigate your children … it’s sad at the end of the day.”

Nick Cannon is the one telling this story so he left out something else that’s sad, and that is when entitled assholes like Nick Cannon yell at people for no reason.

“The case will probably remain open for the next week, out abundance of caution,” a source tells Radar.
“There has been absolutely no findings that either Mariah or Nick were doing anything illegal, or that could place the twins in danger.
“Unfortunately Nick was extremely angry when DCFS officials attempted to interview Mariah, which just escalated the situation. His anger didn’t help the situation.
“Under California law, anytime there is any allegation made involving the welfare and safety of a child, DCFS is required to investigate. Mariah was extremely cooperative with DCFS and answered all the questions.”

But Nick wasn’t gonna let them off the hook simply because everyone was in agreement that Mariah did nothing wrong. No sir. He lost his shit because those people should have known better than to answer their phone and hear that complaint. The next time the phone rings, just ignore it, it’s probably more bullshit.

Mariah Carey gave birth to twins over the weekend, but so far she and her husband Nick Cannon have been real coy about revealing their names. Until now. I don’t know about you, but I’m on pins and needles.

CNN says…

Their son is named Moroccan Scott Cannon. Scott is Nick’s middle name, as well as his grandmother’s maiden name.
The top tier of Mariah’s New York City apartment is called the Moroccan Room, because of the Moroccan-inspired decor.

Their daughter’s name is Monroe Cannon. Mariah’s rep says she does not have a middle name because Mariah herself does not have one. Monroe was named after Marilyn Monroe, who has been an inspiration to Mariah her whole life.

Oh Jesus Christ. Moroccan Cannon? He might as well be named Push Me In The Mud Puddle Cannon. At best he sounds like a firework, at worst a vibrator. Oh, but I’m sure once he explains he’s named after his grandmother and a decor, the other kids will change that to, “a vibrator for men” and adjust their insults and punches accordingly.

Way back on June 2nd, the rumors began that Mariah Carey was pregnant, but she never said anything about it, and then it all sort of died down. Until this weekend that is, during a concert in Brazil (pictured above), when she looked slightly fatter than normal and the rumors kicked up all over again.

Her husband Nick Cannon refuses to address it on his radio show, because that would be something interesting to talk about, and believe me when I tell you that he has no fucking idea how to identify something like that.

Luckily Mariah went on her website yesterday and confirmed everything, though in the most cryptic way imaginable.

“I appreciate everyone’s well wishes. But I am very superstitious. When the time is right, everyone will know.”

“I am very superstitious”? WTF does that even mean? God it’s like dealing with primitive man. For the babies sake I hope Mariah doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night and see a flock of crows outside her bedroom window. She might think the baby is gonna be evil and start punching her stomach to kill it.