Nick Cannon was hospitalized for the third time in three months over the weekend (the first two times for kidney failure, this time for blood clots) and today announced he will quit his weekday morning radio show. He is expected to remain as host of ‘America’s Got Talent’ when it returns this summer however, because it’s not as if he could be any worse at that than he already is.

The LA Times says…

“Under doctors’ orders, I have been asked to put my health first and cut back on some of my professional commitments in order to allow my body to get the rest that it needs to keep up with the demands of my multi-tasking schedule,” Cannon said.
“I guess I can’t drive at 200 mph for the whole road trip, Time to put the car in cruise control,” he said on Twitter, adding, “Even Super Man had to sleep!”

That’s it, that’s a perfect comparison. Having callers list their favorite cereals and saying “What do you think, Sharon?” is too much for any one man. It’s a modern day Labours of Hercules.

Mariah Carey went on her twitter page this morning and posted a picture of her and her husband Nick Cannon in a hospital bed in Aspen as he recovers from a mild kidney failure. She explained more over on her blog:

“We’re trying to be as festive as possible under the circumstances but please keep Nick in your thoughts because this is very painful. They tried to kick me out of the hospital but here I am pon de bed with Mr. C.”
“We’re doing OK but we’re ‘straaaaaanded in Aspen’ … the truth is as long as we’re together, we’re OK. I’m not trying to make light out of the situation because it’s a serious moment that’s very tough on all of us so please keep us and our family in your prayers. LYM.”

I’m not positive how this works but wouldn’t my prayers for him to recover be cancelled out by the ones I already made for him to get really sick and spend his days in agony?

Last Thursday, Nick Canon told Piers Morgan that he and Mariah Carey were visited by child protective services because someone told them that Mariah was drinking while breast feeding their new twins.

The truth is she wasn’t, Mariah did nothing wrong, and this simple formality would have been quickly resolved except that Nick Cannon is an asshole. He told Morgan…

“It all started when a nurse suggested to my wife that if you drink Guinness, the dark beer, the yeast improves breastfeeding … I don’t know if someone heard that, but then they were saying my wife was drinking beer. People will do anything to try to conjure up a story.
“Then when I spoke to the person from Child Protection Services, [they said], ‘This is ridiculous, we’re going to make sure this isn’t the case.’ To even have to deal with that, my wife in the state that she’s in, we’re in the hospital, to even have to think about someone possibly wanting to investigate your children … it’s sad at the end of the day.”

Nick Cannon is the one telling this story so he left out something else that’s sad, and that is when entitled assholes like Nick Cannon yell at people for no reason.

“The case will probably remain open for the next week, out abundance of caution,” a source tells Radar.
“There has been absolutely no findings that either Mariah or Nick were doing anything illegal, or that could place the twins in danger.
“Unfortunately Nick was extremely angry when DCFS officials attempted to interview Mariah, which just escalated the situation. His anger didn’t help the situation.
“Under California law, anytime there is any allegation made involving the welfare and safety of a child, DCFS is required to investigate. Mariah was extremely cooperative with DCFS and answered all the questions.”

But Nick wasn’t gonna let them off the hook simply because everyone was in agreement that Mariah did nothing wrong. No sir. He lost his shit because those people should have known better than to answer their phone and hear that complaint. The next time the phone rings, just ignore it, it’s probably more bullshit.

Mariah Carey gave birth to twins over the weekend, but so far she and her husband Nick Cannon have been real coy about revealing their names. Until now. I don’t know about you, but I’m on pins and needles.

CNN says…

Their son is named Moroccan Scott Cannon. Scott is Nick’s middle name, as well as his grandmother’s maiden name.
The top tier of Mariah’s New York City apartment is called the Moroccan Room, because of the Moroccan-inspired decor.

Their daughter’s name is Monroe Cannon. Mariah’s rep says she does not have a middle name because Mariah herself does not have one. Monroe was named after Marilyn Monroe, who has been an inspiration to Mariah her whole life.

Oh Jesus Christ. Moroccan Cannon? He might as well be named Push Me In The Mud Puddle Cannon. At best he sounds like a firework, at worst a vibrator. Oh, but I’m sure once he explains he’s named after his grandmother and a decor, the other kids will change that to, “a vibrator for men” and adjust their insults and punches accordingly.