TMZ says that pictures above, printed this week in Life and Style, are just the beginning of the racy photos that were taken last weekend as Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey vacationed in Mexico, and other pictures actually show the two having sex in a hot tub. TMZ says:
…a lawyer for Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo is trying to keep photos of the couple having sex out of the weekly magazines and off the Internet.
TMZ has learned that the rest of the roll shows the two not only making out, but having hardcore sex in the hot tub. A source who has seen the photos tells TMZ that they are "Paris sex tape-level scandalous," and include images of the couple in several different sex positions. That's hot!
And apparently Lacheys lawyer is goin all apeshit threatening to sue everyone who might publish this sort of thing. Although god knows why. It's just pictures, and pictures are boring. What am I gonna do, make a flip book? It's 2007. If it's not HD on-demand video, I'm bored with it. Unless a black guy comes in to finish her off or he's wearing a donkey mask with a bridle in his mouth and she's hitting him with a belt, I could pretty much care less. Asking me to get turned on by pictures is like asking me to build a log cabin. I know people used to do that kind of thing, but I wouldn't even know where to start.
I think the fact that Nick Lachey is kind of a dolt helps him with impossibly perfect girls like Vanessa Misomething here. Normally when a guy is talking to a chick this hot he has to bite his tongue and not tell her that he wants to fuck her in the ass, even though, in reality, he would very much like to fuck her in the ass. The good news is that if these pictures don't make you hate your life and kill yourself, nothing ever will. Because Nick Lachey and his crybaby songs and block shaped head and shrunken chest and string-beany arms are getting laid on in a pool in the Bahamas by a perfect girl and there's really no reason for that. I don't think I'm alone in saying that Nick and his fabulous life can go fuck themselves.
Jessica Simpson says she made that decision to divorce husband Nick Lachey after watching the movie "The Notebook" on a plane ride home to Texas. "The Notebook", apparently, tells the story of, "Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams as star-crossed lovers". Jessica says:
"I just figured out the statement. It was about that moment of desperation. I needed to breathe."
The world would be so much more fun if I were like Jessica Simpson and thought all TV and movies were speaking directly to me and offering advice. The real world is filled with stories about Canada refusing trade pacts, where as Jessica's world is filled with dancing peanuts in top hats. Real world = stem cell controversy. Jessica's world = big dogs who solve mysteries. Weeee!!!!
(why is she dressed like this and doing that thing with her mouth? easy. she's dumb. ta-da!)
Nick Lachey admits his mistake - Nick Lachey says that the MTV reality show he did with wife Jessica Simpson was a huge mistake. "(Newlyweds) was among the dumber ideas I think I've ever seen executed in history. For a while we actually enjoyed doing the show, (but) it just got to a place where it was so invasive, it became a problem." What might be more of a problem for Nick would be if he had never done the show and was now that guy from 98 Degrees who boxes kangaroos for money.
Screech admits he sold the sex tape - Dustin Diamond told Rita Cosby, "We could spend a fortune fighting it in court, with little bits already being leaked on the internet or we could suck it up and say you know what, it could be a losing battle, we'll make money if we just side with it."
Dustin is expected to make literally hundreds of dollars from sales of the tape. Literally … hundreds. Nice.
Kevin Federline is insecure - Kevin Federline is worried that history will repeat itself and wife Britney Spears will fall for another of her backup dancers (that’s how they met) so he has forbid her to use male dancers in her videos. MSNBC says, " '(Federline) insisted that Britney fire Matt and all of the other male dancers she'd hired and replace them with females.' Federline is said to be '‘surprisingly insecure and secretly terrified' that Spears will dump him if her career takes off again."
Is "jackass" hyphenated?
Nick Lachey sucked in his stomach and joined new girlfriend Vanilla Masomething for a boat trip near his home in Cincinnati. It was mostly a private affair for family and friends, but it's thought that the main topic of discussion was other played out poser tattoos Nick could get in the future. One friend suggested Calvin peeing on the Chevy emblem, another thought maybe a Lil' Devil or "VICTORY" written in Chinese. Stay tuned to WWTDD for breaking news.
Nick Lachey and his sunken chest spent last weekend at the Bacara Hotel and Resort just north of Santa Barbara with gf Vanessa Minnillo, and everything you need to know about this little weenie is that he had this waiting for him at home and all he could think to do at the Teen Choice Awards was make a unfunny joke alluding to Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook. Stop being such a little bitch. You’ve somehow tricked everyone into thinking you’re a singer for the past 5 years, even though I never heard one of your songs up until about three months ago. You might as well have said you were a top secret rocket ship pilot or invented the panda bear.
