Nicki Minaj Rolling Stone Outtakes

By Lex January 08, 2015 @ 8:40 AM

Nicki Minaj Rolling Stone Outtakes LB
Rolling Stone magazine apparently has outtakes. This is not to be confused with retractions, like after misleading rape accusations. This is content by Terry Richardson. A guy a bunch of young models claimed ear raped them. There, that’s not confusing.

Nicki Minaj did the cover of Rolling Stone recently because she’s very popular and has enormous tits and ass. Also, because I think she has a friend who knows a guy there. These are the photos that didn’t make the cut, including one of Uncle Terry in the victim shots he meticulously keeps like Dexter. One day we’ll all look back and say how the hell did we miss this because that’s just what people do.

Photo Credit: Terry Richardson

Nicki Minaj’s Ex Is Troubled (VIDEO)

By Matt December 22, 2014 @ 7:19 AM

The miserably failed rapper known as SB Stunts better known as Safree Samuels better known as Nicki Minaj’s ex has been telling his friends he is suicidal over their break up. This is according to TMZ who that shitty friend of yours probably works for. At least he’d drop a dime on you for free Subway for life. Samuels and Minaj had been in a relationship for 12 years, meaning there’s a decent chance she was hot and still looked like human person when they met. Those who pursue a career in rap live by a different standard than your neighbors with the nice lattice. One doesn’t support the other financially working a catering gig while the other is out sucking record producer’s dicks in the bathroom at the same party. Or maybe that’s what happened.

It’s difficult to know if Samuels is suicidal over breaking up with Minaj or if he just saw her as a last vestige to garnering a record contract. She clearly has a lot of power in the recording business. At least until she’s obsolete next spring or when a cock is implanted in her mouth. This is the sweet spot where she figured she’d cash in since you never will. Keep your head up, Samuels. I guarantee your rebound sex will be better than Minaj constantly bitching about you damaging her framework of implants. On the rap thing you’re probably fucked.

Nicki Minaj Nip Slip Frightens Bravo Audience

By Lex December 18, 2014 @ 8:58 AM

Nicki Minaj Nip Slip On Watch What Happens Live
There’s no safer place to have your tits start falling out of your top than an Andy Cohen show. It’s not like Cosby who’s going to dash for his espresso machine and specially marked beans. Your virtue is safe here, Nicki. We only call this station Bravo because NancyGaySpectacleHour was already taken. Now watch my giant bleached white teeth guffaw with laughter as you share an musing anecdote my producers helped you rehearse. This is where magic happens.

Photo Credit: Getty/Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj Sexist Shames the Media

By Lex November 05, 2014 @ 2:06 PM

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When girls with big tits and asses say shit that doesn’t make much sense just nod your head knowingly. You can’t win a fight. You don’t even want one. Nicki Minaj is calling out the media for calling her out for shaking her big injected can cakes like a Manilla port hooker in her Anaconda video:

You’re talking about newspeople who don’t even know anything about hip-hop culture. It’s so disrespectful for them to even comment on something they have no idea about. They don’t say anything when they’re watching the Victoria’s Secret show and seeing boobs and thongs all day. Why? Shame on them. Shame on them for commenting on “Anaconda” and not commenting on the rest of the oversexualized business

Shame seems a bit harsh. I’m pretty sure Victoria’s Secret is actually selling those thongs, whereas we’re all pretending you’re selling music.  All these self-righteous cries from overly sexualized music artists ignore the fact they are counting on being ripped in the media to make them cool enough for teens. They know this full well and if they should ever forget, there’s a label publicity staffer on hand to remind them to say inanely controversial things about racism, sexism, and their powerful vaginas.

The day the mainstream media accepts you as a music artist is the moment you should put out your Greatest Hits Album and head to the Bahamas to live out the rest of your days making love to island men and building shelters for the poor from your implant remains.

Photo credit: V Magazine

Nicki Minaj’s Tits Denied Access to High School

By Lex September 15, 2014 @ 10:38 AM

Nicki Minaj Shows Off Underboob At Club In Paris
All Nicki Minaj ever wanted to do was give back. Inflate her tits and ass to well beyond the recommended PSI, then inspire young people to follow their dreams as well. But they just wouldn’t let her. Nicki’s former performance arts high school in New York turned down her offer to come speak to the student body in what would’ve been an intimate event with Nicki, a few camera crews, and the entire student body being hit with Anaconda plugs.

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Nicki says Shaking My Head but I think we all know that’s not completely accurate. Now the students of LaGuardia Performing Arts will go without inspiration and probably never take the stage in a hit Broadway musical or running their penitentiary’s therapeutic dramatic arts program. Not to mention the one straight guy in the school won’t get to see Nicki’s tits in person. Actions have consequences. Usually. This one actually not so much.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Fame Flynet

Nicki Minaj Is All About the Music

By Matt August 27, 2014 @ 7:50 AM

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Nicki Minaj reportedly wanted MTV to film her VMA appearance in a way that would earn it a TV-MA rating. The network shot instead for a TV-14 which clearly excludes the massively spread labia Nicki had planned in order to be this year’s Miley. MTV focused on Minaj’s upper body while she had her legs up in a birthing position for no apparent reason. The performance was so tame it didn’t even turn heads at the Parents Television Council, an organization which exists solely to be offended:

“It wasn’t as racy as we were anticipating. What we were expecting to see was what was in the video — a guy up on the stage and her performing lap dances. Her costume was less revealing during the VMAs than it was in the music video. The elements were there, but the most offensive content was edited out. Whether Nicki Minaj had anything to do with that or MTV or network standards and practices, I don’t know, but we were relieved to see that it wasn’t as bad as it might have been.”

Its a sad day when you desperately want to come off as provocative and the old cronies from Footloose yawn in your face. Minaj should start performing with a dildo in her stink, pink, and maw to really make sure the cameras have nowhere to go but sexualized content. There’s no reason why the VMAs can’t serve as the proper forum to talk to your kids about where rapper bastard babies come from.

Photo Credit: Instagram