By Lex January 12, 2016 @ 7:18 AM
Nicki Minaj called Teen Mom a #BigCUNT on Twitter because Farrah Abraham spoke rudely to her mom on some MTV reality show where ugly people with lots of makeup dab their eyes with tiny facial wipes. Twitter turns out to be the perfect universe for the limited lobed people who like watching porn stars just talk about their problems as a form of entertainment. You ever worry your insults aren’t terse enough? Try Twitter. You get a few characters, one to three inane hashtag, and an exclamation point. Fuck You #CuntFace #IJustSaidFuckYou CU !!.
Minaj noted a mistake in Abraham’s grammar on one Tweet and everybody realized a line had been crossed. Fighting ceased. God gave you women fingers so you could grasp weaves and yank each other to the ground. Not to type. Watch the apes in Space Odyssey in reverse. Take notes.
Photo credit: FameFlynet
By Lex November 02, 2015 @ 12:49 PM
Nicki Minaj and other responsible party trick or treaters took time away from looking like inflatable human fuck toys to criticize the inflatable raping Bill Cosby costume. If you set aside the feelings of a hundred rape victims for one evening, the costume itself is actually fucking hilarious. Nicki Minaj lamented the desensitized modern generation without any sort of irony or explanation by her business people as to where her money comes from. It’s become an annual tradition for people who have robbed a kids holiday and turned it into a evening of tits and booze to draw the costume decency line in the sand. Dumb people will never be comfortable with satire. Still, slutty drunk chicks isn’t a bad top level theme for a holiday. I’d let this one go.
Photo credit: Instagram
By Lex November 02, 2015 @ 11:34 AM
Some time in the 1980′s slutty women stole Halloween from the children and nobody gave a damn because slutty women are where children come from and people inherently respect causality. Now every Halloween costume for woman begins and ends with — how does it make my tits look? Which is more relevant than am I spooky and less relevant than can I be fucked in my costume and still return it with a straight face on Monday? Haunted houses have been replaced by raging bacchanalias. Who will cry for the pedophiles? This used to be their night.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex October 21, 2015 @ 1:33 PM
The streaming music Tidal has swept the nation and re-defined the way music is consumed by being completely forgotten about since their underwhelming launch six months ago. Tidal was the brain child of Jay Z and a bunch of other extremely high earning music stars who didn’t like not earning even more for their streamed music. Tidal runs the risk of being the first thing Jay Z has ever touched that didn’t turn to gold. Or have a baby come out of it.
Jay Z and the crew of music artists who make $100 million a year but want another fifty because wrapping your house in gold by the foot is more expensive than you think held a marathon concert event at the Barclay’s Center that threatened to go on forever unless people signed up for the premium pay option. This is the time if you’re a struggling small business owner you send your wife out front with her tits and ass hanging out to drum up business. Which is exactly what Jay Z did. Will it help Tidal turn the corner? I’m pretty sure nobody gives a fuck. There will still be ham on the table come Christmas. The baby can have some too if they remember where they left her.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Matt August 20, 2015 @ 8:08 AM
Nicki Minaj’s wax figure at Madame Tussauds in Vegas behaves a lot like it’s namesake in that it shows little emotion and is continually railed by strangers. Tons of people are posing inappropriately with the figure because it’s fucking hilarious. I still want to know what you’re doing in a wax museum but if you’re paying thirty bucks to look at wax people you’d better at least get a nut off. In a move that is clearly another black eye for America, the business is now forced to have security monitoring the figure and is looking into ways to stop people from humping it. Perhaps a lifelike scent would do the trick. Rapper Azalea Banks took to Twitter to voice her disapproval:
“As much as that woman has accomplished, they had to put her on all fours… Why not standing up with a mic in her hand? All people are gonna do is go up to that statue and take pictures shoving their crotch in her face and putting their crotch on her butt.”
Just like real life. Banks is right, but missing the point. Minaj is known almost solely for crawling around with her swollen bare ass arched into the air in a display of sexual presentation. That’s the point of a wax museum, to make it look real. And to jizz on the statues when 5-0 is on break.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Matt August 11, 2015 @ 7:59 AM
Nicki Minaj got drunk off malt liquor which isn’t even liquor and makes no sense much like her career and said that random rapper dude Meek Mill was her “baby father.” If you don’t use poor grammar stylistically or simply never went to kindergarten she’s saying he knocked her up. That’s assuming she’s pregnant but we’ll wait for the sex tape to confirm. Minaj is now backtracking her comments and there’s an entire industry of depraved assholes who use the term mixologist trying to confirm or deny this story that even Minaj’s supposed father finds contrived. Translation: So many random dudes have squirted their cum in me I don’t even know what to make of it. True Detective season 3. You’re available.
Photo Credit: Instagram