Nicole Kidman admits having botox

By brendon January 12, 2011 @ 5:56 PM

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Nicole Kidman has finally confessed to have tried Botox, and by “tried” she must mean with every meal since 2005. People says…

“I’ve tried a lot of things, but aside from sports and good nutrition, most things don’t make a difference,” Kidman, 43, (says). “I have also tried Botox.”
But Kidman says she didn’t like using the injections, which are known to tighten up a patient’s face to avoid the appearance of wrinkles.
“I didn’t like how my face looked afterwards,” she says. “Now I don’t use it anymore – I can move my forehead again!”

Not that it matters because she’s ridiculous looking either way. Above is a pic from when she was pregnant and had to stop getting botox for a while, below is her frozen in place right before her wedding in 2006. If I opened my front door and saw that standing in front of me, I would grab the nearest heavy thing I could find and try to kill it.

Nicole Kidman has an elevator for her car

By brendon August 19, 2010 @ 8:16 PM

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Nicole Kidman and her husband Keith Urban just bought a 10 million dollar top floor duplex in New York City’s Chelsea district. It’s 3,248 square feet, has 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, and a 20×22-foot living room with floor to ceiling windows that overlooks the river.

Oh and it also has a private elevator that turns their ordinary car into a flying car that lands at their front door, presumably so they can hop into a tub filled with the tears of a Phoenix.

The extravagant and modern 16 apartment building boasts a private ‘Sky Garage’ for its residents, allowing a tenant to park their vehicle inside the building and have it lifted to their floor, avoiding the hassle of underground or street parking.

I would show the other 15 apartments to NBA guys and Ben Roethlisberger. Highlight the fact that any hypothetical hooker that gets punched out can go right into your trunk. No witness, no crime. It’s the ultimate sign of wealth and status.

(image source = mavrix online)

heidi montag is an actress now

By brendon March 16, 2010 @ 9:32 AM

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When Heidi Montag got DDD implants a few months ago, people started to notice what a talented young artist she was, and everyone really respected the way she was achieving her goals and making her dreams come true.

Dreams such as being an actress for example, and yesterday she was in Malibu to film a movie called ‘Just Go With It’. It’s the story of a girl with a fantastic body who walks around a park and bends over a lot, co-starring Adam Sandler, Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Aniston. I don’t know what their characters do. Hopefully nothing that blocks the view of Heidis huge tits.

(image source = pacific coast and splash news)

thursday afternoon headlines

By brendon March 04, 2010 @ 7:08 PM

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NICOLE KIDMAN - has been replaced in a movie by … Selena Gomez. For the record, Kidman is 42, Gomez is 17. I bet Keith Urban wishes he could do this. (variety)

LOST - has run out of time, according to the writers and producers, and there is simply no way to wrap up all loose ends and answer all the questions by the end of the series in May. When asked for a comment, one group of hardcore fans yelled unintelligible profanity for almost an hour. (washington post)

JESSICA BIEL AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - are still very much together apparently, because today they’re skiing in Switzerland. And after zzzzzzz snooorrrre zzzzzzzz, zzzzzzzzzz, snoooorre, zzzzzzz. (just jared)

KATHERINE JENKINS - is a 29-year-old UK opera star who yesterday began a tour with concerts more like Britney or Madonna. Some people only like her because she has a beautiful singing voice, but those people are superficial jerks. She was born with that. What about the real Katherine. What about going a little deeper. Like her big jugs, for example. And her money. And let’s not forget her big jugs. (daily mail)

save some cocaine for the rest of hollywood, nicole

By brendon December 16, 2009 @ 3:55 PM

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I’d rather have the doors lock behind me on a 6-month gay pleasure cruise than in a movie theater showing ‘Nine’. I wouldn’t go see that crap even if the name alluded to the number of blowjobs I would get from Kimberly Phillips if I did. But Nicole Kidman had to go to last nights premiere because she’s in that POS, and to make it more exciting she buried her face in a mountain of cocaine first. HOLY CHRIST, NOW THIS MOVIE IS FUKCIN AMAZING!

(picture source = fame and getty)

nicole kidman looks terrific

By brendon November 13, 2009 @ 3:37 PM

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Tom Cruises’ semen must have some kind of poison in it because Katie Holmes looks like hell and Nicole Kidman has turned into some kind of monster.  The New York Post says…

Everyone was talking about Nicole Kidman at the Country Music Awards in Nashville Sunday night. “She looked freakish,” said one witness. “She just had her lips done, and now she looks like Meg Ryan.”

That witness got off easy.  They saw her after 36 hours of hair and makeup (here). Look at her this morning at some fitness thing back in Australia. I’m only looking at the pictures and I’m freaked out. I’ve already closed my blinds and put on a mask so she can’t find me while I type this, and when I’m done here I’m gonna throw this computer into the ocean and move to a new town. I don’t really know how all that IP stuff works. She might be able to find me that way.

INCOMPETENT UPDATE – aww god dammit.  okay so the running pictures are nicoles sister antonia.  still.  look.  ooohhhh.  pretty scary, huh.

(picture source = getty images)