Nicole Kidman has a new baby

By brendon January 18, 2011 @ 11:02 AM

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In a rare example of someone in Hollywood being able to keep a secret (though in this case its probably because no one cared to ask) Nicole Kidman and her husband Keith Urban, both 43, announced on Monday that they’re proud new parents of a baby girl named Faith Margret, born through a surrogate in Nashville on December 28th. Nicole says…

“I’m so pale and bony, people often mistake me for a ghost.”

No not really.

“Our family is truly blessed, and just so thankful, to have been given the gift of baby Faith Margaret. No words can adequately convey the incredible gratitude that we feel for everyone who was so supportive throughout this process, in particular our gestational carrier.”

Kidman now has 4 kids. In 2008 she gave birth to a daughter named Sunday Rose, and she has two adopted children with Tom Cruise. Not that she’s apparently aware of it because you NEVER EVER see them together. If her son Connor saw her at the mall or something and tried to give her a hug, she would call the cops. “Please, help me, I’m at the Grove and a black just tried to rape me! Now he’s following me, I can’t get away, they’re very fast!”

Nicole Kidman admits having botox

By brendon January 12, 2011 @ 5:56 PM

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Nicole Kidman has finally confessed to have tried Botox, and by “tried” she must mean with every meal since 2005. People says…

“I’ve tried a lot of things, but aside from sports and good nutrition, most things don’t make a difference,” Kidman, 43, (says). “I have also tried Botox.”
But Kidman says she didn’t like using the injections, which are known to tighten up a patient’s face to avoid the appearance of wrinkles.
“I didn’t like how my face looked afterwards,” she says. “Now I don’t use it anymore – I can move my forehead again!”

Not that it matters because she’s ridiculous looking either way. Above is a pic from when she was pregnant and had to stop getting botox for a while, below is her frozen in place right before her wedding in 2006. If I opened my front door and saw that standing in front of me, I would grab the nearest heavy thing I could find and try to kill it.

Nicole Kidman has an elevator for her car

By brendon August 19, 2010 @ 8:16 PM

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Nicole Kidman and her husband Keith Urban just bought a 10 million dollar top floor duplex in New York City’s Chelsea district. It’s 3,248 square feet, has 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, and a 20×22-foot living room with floor to ceiling windows that overlooks the river.

Oh and it also has a private elevator that turns their ordinary car into a flying car that lands at their front door, presumably so they can hop into a tub filled with the tears of a Phoenix.

The extravagant and modern 16 apartment building boasts a private ‘Sky Garage’ for its residents, allowing a tenant to park their vehicle inside the building and have it lifted to their floor, avoiding the hassle of underground or street parking.

I would show the other 15 apartments to NBA guys and Ben Roethlisberger. Highlight the fact that any hypothetical hooker that gets punched out can go right into your trunk. No witness, no crime. It’s the ultimate sign of wealth and status.

(image source = mavrix online)

heidi montag is an actress now

By brendon March 16, 2010 @ 9:32 AM

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When Heidi Montag got DDD implants a few months ago, people started to notice what a talented young artist she was, and everyone really respected the way she was achieving her goals and making her dreams come true.

Dreams such as being an actress for example, and yesterday she was in Malibu to film a movie called ‘Just Go With It’. It’s the story of a girl with a fantastic body who walks around a park and bends over a lot, co-starring Adam Sandler, Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Aniston. I don’t know what their characters do. Hopefully nothing that blocks the view of Heidis huge tits.

(image source = pacific coast and splash news)

thursday afternoon headlines

By brendon March 04, 2010 @ 7:08 PM

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NICOLE KIDMAN - has been replaced in a movie by … Selena Gomez. For the record, Kidman is 42, Gomez is 17. I bet Keith Urban wishes he could do this. (variety)

LOST - has run out of time, according to the writers and producers, and there is simply no way to wrap up all loose ends and answer all the questions by the end of the series in May. When asked for a comment, one group of hardcore fans yelled unintelligible profanity for almost an hour. (washington post)

JESSICA BIEL AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - are still very much together apparently, because today they’re skiing in Switzerland. And after zzzzzzz snooorrrre zzzzzzzz, zzzzzzzzzz, snoooorre, zzzzzzz. (just jared)

KATHERINE JENKINS - is a 29-year-old UK opera star who yesterday began a tour with concerts more like Britney or Madonna. Some people only like her because she has a beautiful singing voice, but those people are superficial jerks. She was born with that. What about the real Katherine. What about going a little deeper. Like her big jugs, for example. And her money. And let’s not forget her big jugs. (daily mail)

save some cocaine for the rest of hollywood, nicole

By brendon December 16, 2009 @ 3:55 PM

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I’d rather have the doors lock behind me on a 6-month gay pleasure cruise than in a movie theater showing ‘Nine’. I wouldn’t go see that crap even if the name alluded to the number of blowjobs I would get from Kimberly Phillips if I did. But Nicole Kidman had to go to last nights premiere because she’s in that POS, and to make it more exciting she buried her face in a mountain of cocaine first. HOLY CHRIST, NOW THIS MOVIE IS FUKCIN AMAZING!

(picture source = fame and getty)