By Lex October 20, 2014 @ 10:13 AM
Nicole Richie celebrated the replacement of her last natural body part over the weekend with a fancy no-food party at Bloomingdales. It saddens me that women ever feel the need scalpel and inject and Scented Magic Marker themselves into unrecognizable collagen sculptures. Not the ugly ones obviously. You’re going to want to head to the Peruvian jungle clinic for that illegal face transplant. But Nicole Richie wasn’t a bad looking chick. Her dad Craigslist bartering her to Lionel Richie for three guitar picks and a bottle of Thunderbird probably stuck a permanent puncture wound in her esteem. But you need to learn to fill those cracks with narcotics and booze and other things that leave your system far sooner than the elemental chart nonmetals that have a half life of ten Cleveland Browns Super Bowls. Better dead than Versace.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Travis April 09, 2014 @ 10:00 AM
Just when you think that Katy Perry is completely out of ways to prove how zany and unique she is, she does something that just blows our minds. Last night, she joined Nicole Richie and others in supporting Marianne Williamson, an independent candidate for Congress, at an event in Los Angeles, and Katy stole the show with her amazing green hair. People must have freaked out when they saw her hair and asked her, “How did you ever come up with this idea?” and she replied, “It’s green!” causing everyone to lose their shit and act like she’s the most original person who has ever walked the Earth. Or maybe she showed up to the event and pointed to her head, and someone pointed out that you could see Nicole’s tits, and then Katy just sulked in the corner for the rest the night. It has to be one of those two options.
Photo Credits: Getty
By Lex December 09, 2013 @ 3:16 PM
Art Basel is the new annual celebrity proving ground for sophistication credentials. It’s in Miami which means the beach and the better cocaine, so it’s kind of the perfect place for Hollywood intelligentsia to head in December to prove their more enlightened than everybody who used to go to Aspen and wear fur in between attending PETA protests. If you’re like Nicole Richie and your dad sold you into fancy living, it’s a must attend. Where else can you stand aside Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian staring at an oil painting on the wall wondering how all that waters stays in the picture frame.
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com
By Lex July 29, 2013 @ 3:54 PM
If you ran a Body Mass Index on Nicole Richie, it would come back with a score of ‘eat some fucking food already’. I say that lovingly. I don’t want to see somebody claimed by anorexia and then I become like my aunt who tells the Karen Carpenter story over and over again. None of Nicole’s works have ever touched me like Interplanetary Craft apparently did my aunt. I’d have to fake it and talk glowingly to the next generation about The Simple Life or something. That would suck. Just eat already.
Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin
By Lex July 25, 2013 @ 10:42 AM
Nicole Richie, whoever sunk your battleship and made you stop eating, just let it go. You’re married, you’ve got kids. This is the time to pack on a few fat rings. I’m sorry your dad sold you to Lionel Richie for six bucks and a bus transfer. Eat a god damn sandwich already. You’re scaring people.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com, PCN