Nikki Lund Seems Flexible

By Lex May 11, 2015 @ 12:07 PM

Nikki Lund Does Yoga In Beverly Hills
Nikki Lund is the former Kim Kardashian teen buddy who convinced Richie Sambora to pony up millions for a clothing line inspired by the fact that she has big tits and blond hair and went on a publicity tour telling everybody how amazing Richie’s elder rock cock was. Microsoft started under a similar premise I believe. Sambora seemed to be into the shtick until his reps got around to crunching the numbers and he remembered he was in Bon Jovi and could bang tons of other hot women for much less financial burn. Sambora pulled funding on the clothing line. Lund took the news well, making public accusations that Sambora had assaulted her and threatened to cover her in acid just like in the movies. The District Attorney investigated and declared her to be short of anything resembling evidence. Lund was fined zero dollar and zero cents, receiving zero hours of community service and zero marks on her permanent record. It’s good to be the accuser. Downward facing dog, your next investor might be watching.

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Nikki Lund And Cassie Scerbo in Bikinis

By Lex April 20, 2015 @ 9:47 AM

Nikki Lund And Cassie Scerbo Wears Bikinis In Malibu
Banging Richie Sambora while pretending his toupee hasn’t shifted awkwardly is your ticket to ride. Nikki Lund rubbed the Bon Jovi genie lamp and asked for gobs of money for a clothing line. As a kicker, she went on a promo tour giggling about Sambora’s amazing cock. At some point Sambora peeked at his Amex bill and decided the ego stroke was too expensive. He put the kibosh on the NikkiRich clothing line. Lund responded by accusing Sambora of threatening her with physical harm.

A source confirmed Thursday night that Lund claimed to police that the 55-year-old rocker threatened to “dig a hole in the desert and bury” her there during the alleged call.

The idea of Richie Sambora digging a hole of any measurable size seems far fetched. Maybe asking his pool contractor to work a side job on the weekend. Cutting her off from money seems a lot easier than ordering a hit. Rehab teaches you a lot about thinking through better options. Like start banging other ambitious young women with less expensive dreams. Maybe a chick who just got priced out of a Disneyland annual pass and has decent tits. Occasionally she might want some dough for some new Mickey ears, but she’s not going to ask for 2,200 square feet of boutique space on Robertson. Nobody fucks that good.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Nikki Lund Is Fashion Forward

By Lex March 20, 2015 @ 10:04 AM

Nikki Lund Wears See Through Dress While She Debuts Fashion Line
Nikki Lund is the glamour model who convinced Richie Sambora to be her fashion line partner. He signed right about the time she publicly claimed his cock was huge and he was amazing in bed. These are the crystalized moments in time when I realize for all the extra care and concern, having a vagina would not be a horrible thing. Lund debuted her new line to a crowd of onlookers who she siphoned off from the Price is Right game show audience line. They all clapped a lot and asked each other where in Iowa the others were from. The see-through dresses I can see working for busy moms who want to know if their male preschool teachers really are gay or not. Do you love my dress or do you LOVE my dress? Okay, good, my kids are safe. I don’t know jackshit about fashion other than the more I insult it, the more people with disposable income will likely buy it. Which is good for Nikki Lund. Sambora cock ages you at seven times the normal rate. It’s like living dog years. You need to get in and get out or Sambora will bury your wrinkled ass while he still looks thirty.

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Richie Sambora Knows a Bargain

By Lex February 03, 2015 @ 9:21 AM

Nikki Lund And Richie Sambora Check Out Their New Store Front For Nikki Rich
Richie Sambora’s young girlfriend has been going around the lesser media circuits talking about how nice Richie’s dick is. That’s solid press f you can get it. In turn, Richie’s leasing her a brick and mortar store to sell her Nikki Rich line of clothing that finally fuses music and art into fashion. I’ve always felt that’s been missing from my clothes. It seems destined to fail, but what’s a few Bon Jovi residual dollars against a blond chick with big tits telling everybody you’re an incredible cocksmith in your late 50′s. Dumb guys just buy cars.

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Nikki Lund Wears A Bikini With Her Friend

By Lex September 19, 2014 @ 9:33 AM

Nikki Lund Wears A Bikini While Playing With Friend In Malibu
Here’s the plan. First, you take pictures of my tits. Then I take pictures of yours. But you need to giggle more and make goofy faces so people don’t notice you’re poor and can’t afford fake tits. Holy christ, look how hot my ass looks when I dislocate my hips. Shoot me, dammit! Selfie sisters forever!

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Nikki Rich Finally Launches

By Lex May 06, 2014 @ 4:42 PM

Nikki Lund Works Out In Spandex Shorts In Calabassas
Ever since Chess King closed its doors, it’s been a real hassle looking like an outdated rock fan. Thanks to the genius mind of Richie Sambora, and his classically trained design partner, Nikki Lund (ass seen above), you’ll soon be treated to such culturally cutting edge fashion classics as Richie Sambora on a t-shirt, clingy Spandex skirts, and awesome looking rocker girl tops reminiscent of all the girls Richie banged backstage after concerts. You’re certain to be the hit of your polyamorous romance book club. Whose fat husband isn’t going to try and finger you silly while Pantera rages on the boombox. Nikki has been doing a lot of public workouts in the months leading up to her big ambiguously defined product launch. It’s important for fashion designers to look their best when that big moment arrives, the boat from Myanmar docks in San Pedro, and the shmata is gently tossed onto the dock pavement.  A cultural revolution is about to ensue. Like most revolutions, it will happen without a shot being fired, or even a single purchase.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet