By Lex November 29, 2013 @ 4:42 PM
Boy bands will never go away until we stop rewarding their behavior. It’s perfectly understandable that 12-year old girls need to learn how to diddle themselves over some sexually safe young male fantasy figures. That’s what Lance Bass was for. He was going to be so gentle with you girls, you’d hardly even notice he was making out with your brother. But we can’t start giving these synchronized dancing twits our grown up supermodels. Money and Ferraris and good drugs should be the limit to the rewards these hand picked puppets receive. The world’s hottest young women should continue to be reserved for captains of industry, professional athletes, and for some inexplicable reason, David Spade.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Lex November 15, 2013 @ 5:59 PM
A crappy car and a hot girl without a top on. That’s all a man really needs to be happy in this life. Maybe the new PlayStation 4 and a Costco sized pack of beef jerky. A crappy car, a hot girl without her top on, a Playstation 4, and beef jerky is all a man really needs in his life. A decent sweatshirt is pretty handy actually, also that cold shit you spray on your feet when they’re itching. It’s hard to go without that. You could really use a friend who can cover for you when your hot girl without her top on is wondering why your crappy car wasn’t in your driveway last night when she was spying on you because you forgot it was your two month dating anniversary or some shit like that. Also, a football even just for tossing around indoors, I’m not sure I’d want to live in a world without that. And, ham. I fucking love ham. And bourbon should never be a stranger. A crappy car, a hot girl without a top on, PlayStation 4, Costco beef jerky, a decent sweatshirt, athlete’s foot spray, a friend who will lie for you, a football, ham, and bourbon. That’s all a man really needs to be happy in this life. Also, a dog and a well-worn pair of sneakers and porn.
Photo Credit: Cover Man Magazine
By Lex November 13, 2013 @ 1:42 PM
I don’t know jack about women’s fashion. But I’m going to say this dress Nina Agdal is wearing is the hit of the season. I don’t need a chubby Kelly Osbourne telling me what works or doesn’t work. I’d run Kelly over with a cement truck for the chance to see Nina Agdal’s tits. I’d run her over with a cement truck even without that chance and then while people in the street were thanking me for pancaking Kelly Osbourne, I’d stare at Nina Agdal’s tits. That’s called multitasking.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN
By Lex October 16, 2013 @ 7:07 PM
I feel like we don’t need a thousand different bikini companies. We need maybe two. One to make bikinis and one to step in to make bikinis in case the first one decides it’s going to delve into full-figured women’s swimwear. A ton of great looking women will be out of modeling gigs when the other five hundred companies shutdown, so expect the price of women’s used underwear to drop precipitously online.
Photo Credit: Beach Bunny
By Lex October 12, 2013 @ 11:57 AM
Photo Credit: Martha Rey Swimwear
By Lex September 25, 2013 @ 5:47 PM
I’m not sure why a lingerie model would put on a ton of clothes to promote her ass cheeks being painted on the side of a bus, but I object on principle. The whole thing is a marketing campaign for a salon that waxes off all the hair from South Taint Street so your man can finally feel like he’s banging a twelve-year old girl. I don’t suspect they’re going to write that slogan down on the side of a city bus.
Photo Credit: Getty