By Lex September 02, 2015 @ 12:20 PM
The idea of a female President hasn’t caught the same tsunami as the first black President. I’m not seeing the me-too bumper stickers like I did in 2008. Even low information voters inherently understand there are more women in this country than men. More female college students, professionals, lawyers, doctors now, and even coaches in the NBA and NFL where women previously only held positions as baby mamas and victims of assault. Women feel like a suffering minority, but it’s largely just because they read too many pamphlets in college or anything written by a woman after 1967 that didn’t appear in Penthouse. My science is pretty good on this. I’d vote for this Danish chick in her lingerie. If only people born outside the U.S. could be President. Talk amongst yourselves.
Photo Credit: Beach Bunny Swimwear
By Matt July 15, 2015 @ 8:02 AM
Sport Illustrated swimsuit model Nina Agdal posted a video to Instagram attempting to eat hash browns with her toes before spilling them on her face and laughing like a Japanese schoolgirl. While most of us find this worthy of a shrug there’s at least one dude in your office who’s jerking off in the bathroom right now. This was apparently done in honor of National French Fry Day, which is the ad council’s contribution to America’s obesity epidemic. Agdal is quite possibly the hottest SI model, placing her high in the running for hottest chick on earth next to that one server at Chili’s who’s super friendly when you’re drunk. Foot fetishists rejoice, they’re naming a library after you in Tokyo. Now stop this behavior at once. Next thing you’re entering a hot dog eating contest as a goof and you’ve been officially ruined. Everybody has a bad day. Keep it in the bedroom.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Lex June 17, 2015 @ 12:39 PM
Advances in technology are a true balance sheet of plusses and minuses. Before I released my photo rich social media platform, I’d ask myself what percentage of famous hot girls would be posting photos of splits in their pants versus the million of duck faced random drunken narcissists sharing selfies at Denny’s late night. The Manhattan project scientists didn’t just build the atomic bomb without considering thermonuclear war and the destruction of the human race. Did anyone anticipate Lena Dunham posting pictures of herself on the shitter discussing male sexual fluidity? I’m not saying you don’t invent Twitter and Instagram, I’m just suggesting we hang everybody who did. Nice ass by the way. I have some ideas for our second date I’d like to run by you.
Photo Credit: Instagram/Markus Koala
By Lex May 01, 2015 @ 1:08 PM
You ever get the feeling you’re not supposed to be looking at somebody without their clothes on? Another five minutes and I’ll figure out how best to body shame Nina Agdal. Those elbows. Is she kidding anybody with that ass? Accept yourself the way you are if you wish, but you’re living a lie. Fatty.
Photo Credit: Frederic Pinet
By Lex January 29, 2015 @ 8:01 AM
By Lex November 11, 2014 @ 12:52 PM
There’s a special place in Hell for people who Photoshop nipples out of perfectly good pictures. Image editing software was invented to put Emma Watson’s head on nude bodies, not to smudge out nature’s own finer bits. In the dark ages, maybe the middle ages or the Renaissance, the popes ordered artists to lop off all the exposed junk in classic sculptures and paintings because Jesus hates genitals even though his dad keeps on making them. Most of us no longer shit in the river or believe that leeches can cure our ass cancers, we need to progress in the moral arts as well. Me and the Willis girls and Michelle Obama are going to free those nipples whether you like it or not. Be ready, America.
Photo Credit: Love Haus