Aside from the indentured servitude, mass starving and batshit crazy dictators, North Korea could probably be a pretty great place, but we’ll never know because those cranky, old white fellas running our country don’t want us hanging out over there. However, if Dennis Rodman says it’s a cool place, then it has to be cool, because he’s had sex with Carmen Electra and that’s high class defined.
If you’re wondering what North Koreans probably think of us horrible Americans and our satanic lifestyles, look no further, because this video that the North Korean government allegedly forces its citizens to watch perfectly captures the day-to-day life of the average Yankee pig. From drinking coffee made from snow to buying guns to slaughter our children, this documentary nails us.
Well, maybe that killing kids thing isn’t so far off, but all the rest of this is pure bullshit.
With everyone from George Stephanopoulos to David Stern shitting on him, NBA legend Dennis Rodman retreated to his natural element of HPV and Whitesnake songs at a strip club when he returned from North Korea. The Worm has tried to tell people that North Korean dictator and half-man/half-potato Kim Jong Un is a good guy, but that all went to shit this week when Un’s lackeys threatened to nuke Washington.
“Now that the U.S. is set to light a fuse for a nuclear war, the revolutionary armed forces of the DPRK will exercise the right to a pre-emptive nuclear attack to destroy the strongholds of the aggressors and to defend the supreme interests of the country,” the North’s foreign ministry spokesman said in a statement carried by the official KCNA news agency. “The U.S. is massively deploying armed forces for aggression, including nuclear carrier task force and strategic bombers, enough to fight a nuclear war under the smokescreen of ‘annual drills’.” (NBC)
The last time North Korea attempted to fire a rocket, it flew about as far as a whistler stuck between your older brother’s butt cheeks. Needless to say, nobody in DC is scared. That’s why it’s great that the people at Official Comedy made this NBA Hangtime video game parody of Kim Jong Un and Rodman.
Hell, even China is laughing at North Korea right now, and that’s like Ike Turner laughing at Chris Brown.