O.J. Off The Hook Again And Shit Around The Web

We told you about a knife that was found on O.J. Simpson's old property in 1998 that has just now been examined after a cop took it home for nearly 20 years. It turns out there is no DNA on it. I can't imagine how it could have gotten contaminated after it was taken home as a fucking souvenir by a cop. The LAPD ladies and gentlemen. (TMZ) Pia Mia Perez done got her nips pierced. (Last Men On Earth) This is Xamira...read more

O.J. Knife Found... In 1998

Because cops are fucked up selfish people too, an off duty cop took possession of a big-ass knife unearthed by construction workers in 1998 leveling the former Brentwood home of O.J. Simpson and never reported the knife find to anyone at L.A.P.D. This was just four years after the murders while O.J. was making sex tapes and golfing in Florida. The cop kept it as memorabilia for himself which might just indicate he...read more

OJ Simpson Is Sad

OJ Simpson is going on a hunger strike in a Nevada prison because he's sad and wants to die. He's currently serving time for a 2008 conviction for kidnapping and robbery, though he's better remembered for slaughtering his ex-wife and the world's most unlucky waiter. Also, those hilarious Naked Gun movies. I guess it must be hard to be 66 years old and be rotting in jail alone and unloved. Prison rape is really a young...read more

OJ Simpson Asks Obama For Clemency

Mr President, I know my life is coming to an end. Please, don't let me die in prison. I feel the end coming. But I don't want to die in prison like common jailhouse scum. O.J. always did have a way with words. I mean, after his speech and language training. As a college baller at USC he was completely illiterate and unable to form sentences when speaking. The Juice wants Obama to let him loose before he dies of a...read more

OJ Simpson Stole The Cookie From The Cookie Jar

Famous murderer and Samsonite salesman OJ Simpson was caught stealing cookies from the prison cafeteria. You'll recall that OJ is serving jail time for armed robbery after he and some armed friends tried to snatch back some OJ memorabilia in Vegas. The report states that OJ was caught by a prison guard trying to sneak a dozen oatmeal cookies back to his cell. Stealing food is a big no no in the joint an can get you...read more

OJ Simpson Looks Like Hell

OJ Simpson was back in court yesterday asking for a retrial of his 2008 conviction for kidnapping and armed robbery, after he and a group of armed men went after two sports memorabilia dealers that OJ had accused of stealing from him. The 65-year old former NFL star is claiming that his then-attorney, Yale Galanter, fed him terrible advice during the original trial and possibly even failed to tell him about a plea...read more

FOX Is Making An OJ Simpson Miniseries

If I had to rank the lasting horrible legacies of former NFL star and current prison queen OJ Simpson, they would go: 3) Kato Kaelin, 2) Reason that Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian are famous and wealthy, and 1) Guy who didn't kill two people (but probably did). Although Nos. 1 and 2 could be switched and I don't think anyone but Fred Goldman would really protest. Now that the Juice is locked away in prison and...read more

Khloes "dad" speaks from the grave (not literally)

Yesterday, someone other than TMZ said that Robert Kardashian was not the biological father of Khloe Kardashian, so now TMZ has to do everything they can to undermine that, regardless of how ridiculous it looks. Today, in a story about Robert filing to have his second marriage annulled, with the headline, "Robert Kardashian speaks from grave: I'm Khloes dad", they say: "Robert Kardashian swore thatKhloe IS his...read more

OJ did or did not confess his murders to Oprah

Oprah Winfrey said last week that she was determined to interview OJ Simpson and get him to finally confess that he murdered Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman on June 12, 1994. Well that was easy. According to the National Enquirer, the interview is set to be filmed after Simpson confessed he killed the pair in self-defense to a producer from inside prison. "He told the producer: 'Tell Oprah that yes, I did it. I killed...read more

Thursday headlines, with the return of Dave Chapelle

DAVE CHAPELLE - is creating a new show that will air on a subscription service like Netflix or Hulu, where all the best comedies are found. (the daily) TUPAC - would have been 40 today, and his 1996 murder is still unsolved, but yesterday a man claimed that he was hired by rap mogul James Rosemond to rob and shoot Tupac. Pac survived but later was killed in a similar ambush. Rosemond is denying these charges, but we...read more

RANDOM MORNING NONSENSE

BOO HOO YOU UGLY BITCH - Nicole Richie and Joel Madden wanted to buy a new house in a gated community in SoCal recently but they were denied by the Homeowners Association, who live in a gated community because of people like Nicole Richie. They said they didn't want to deal with her attention whoring antics and symbiotic relationship with the paparazzi. "Nicole was livid because she loved the house," the source says....read more

OJ IS IN JAIL, FACES OVER 100 YEARS IN JAIL

O.J. Simpson was arrested last night for his involvement in the armed robbery of a sports memorabilia agent. He has been formally charged with two counts of robbery with a deadly weapon, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, conspiracy to commit a crime and burglary with a firearm. The district attorney in the case is expected to file more charges today, ultimately charging Simpson with seven felonies and one...read more

OJ SIMPSON HAS A GUN

OJ Simpson may be arrested by Las Vegas police later today because last night he and five other men allegedly broke into a hotel room and robbed a man at gunpoint. TMZ says: It happened at the Palace Station Hotel last night at around 7:15. Alfred Beardsley, a memorabilia dealer, had secured various items once owned by Simpson. Beardsley has said he had the suit OJ wore the day he was acquitted of murder.Beardsley had...read more

STUFF FROM ALL OVER

O.J. Simpson will be paid $3.5 million to write a book where he “confesses” to murdering Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. The book will describe how OJ murdered his wife and her friend, with OJ writing in the first person, but its not a confession, but rather a “hypothetical” version of the events, in a book called “If I Did It”. Although Simpson still owes millions to the Goldman family after losing the civil...read more