Nick Jonas’ Miss America Girlfriend Means He Can’t Be Gay

By Lex October 13, 2014 @ 9:33 AM

Nick Jonas Girlfriend Olivia Culpo Wears A Bikini In Miami
Men who love cock like ISIS loves beheadings are accusing the prettiest Jonas brother of gay baiting by ripping off his shirt and flashing his six pack at gay bars, singing in Broadway musicals, all the while secretly loving the pussy of his Miss America girlfriend. It’s called a Jackman in street parlance. Nick Jonas denies the cockteasing charges. He claims hitting the Village bars has all merely been a planned marketing event to promote his new album, Fuck Me In My Hot Bottom Ass, or something like that.

“Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. I think it’s unfortunate that some people have to find a negative in every situation. Clearly my heart is in the right place, and more than anything, if they just looked at my life and my gay friends and the authentic nature of where my heart is, they’d just see that they’re kind of ignorant.”

I’m trying to put myself in some really horny gay dudes stylish shoes. If a hot young female music artist was hitting my local dive bar, climbing on the tables, and flashing her tits while talking about pulling trains of fat drunk sods, I suppose I’d be disappointed when I found out she was really just chick who liked to scissor kiss other hot chicks until dripping wet and writhing in ecstasy. I’d probably masturbate thrice before the disappointment set in. but I can still feel the let down.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Finally, I’m Paying Attention to The Great Gatsby

By Lex May 06, 2013 @ 5:31 PM

Olivia Culpo In See Through Dress At Screening Of The Great Gatsby In NYC
Officially, every movie has to be in 3D now. It’s the Hollywood law of sucky films. Even 1920′s bromance tragedies, or comedies, I can’t remember the book that well or much from high school except Don’t Use the Second Floor Boy’s Room and JayJay sells the crack weed. But I’m pretty sure this whole ‘another Gatsby’ spectacle is going to be a horrible waste of time. Except for the cool ENT disease you can pick up from the 3D glasses the last sneezed on.

But, a bright spot. Miss Universe Olivia Culpo showed up to the screening wearing a see-through dress. Finally, a beauty pageant winner who gets how to make the world a better place.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INF, PCN, WENN

Miss Rhode Island is the 2012 Miss Universe

By brendon December 20, 2012 @ 4:31 PM

olivia_culpo_bikini_miss_universe

Olivia Culpo, a 20-year-old sophomore at Boston University and current Miss Rhode Island, became the first American in 15 years to win the Miss Universe pageant last night, when she… uh… won the Miss Universe pageant.

And of course she won. Look at the neckline on her gown, or on this costume that would be kinda patronizing if a foreigner was wearing it. This girl gets it. I know what people like, and what they like is tits.

(image source = getty, wenn)