By Lex January 22, 2015 @ 11:08 AM
When Gwyneth Paltrow approaches, you can count on two things. First, she’s going to tell you that you look amazing but you’ll quickly realize she’s really talking about herself. Second, she’s going to reluctantly share a crazy sex thing she’s into and you’re going to be forced to pretend it’s true. Paltrow’s public relations teams enacted Plan 9 for Gwyneth Paltrow when she and Gay Beethoven split up. Women with reputations for being cold don’t do well image wise when their man leaves them. The standard plan calls for (1) insisting you’re good buddies with your ex, (2) dropping dating rumors involving handsome co-stars, and (3) leaking as many crazy sex stories into the fatty gossip sphere. I don’t know if it works. I know Gwyneth Paltrow won’t stop talking about her sexual adventures. She went on Ellen and admitted she’s a member of the Mile High Club. She seems kinky. I wish she were my girlfriend. Let’s go see her movie, twice.
Photo Credit: Getty/Splash/FameFlynet/INF
By Lex December 10, 2014 @ 9:24 AM
Girl power and BFFs and Throwback Thursday shits and giggles over how you both had crappy hair cuts in high school aside, women really instinctively hate other women named Olivia Munn. I’ve never noticed a stronger catty reaction to any woman in Hollywood than that to Olivia Munn. Chicks snarl when they speak of of her like she just stole their boyfriend with her nonpareil vagina that shuffles poker hands during refractory breaks. Women instinctively sense the nest is in danger when a hot chick who knows the difference between an illegal motion and an illegal procedure penalty in football is within pheromone distance. Sounds the claxons and unleash the fury of Athena. Somebody’s coming to in a bathroom stall at Curves with their labia Crazy Glued together.
Photo Credit: INF/FameFlynet
By Lex October 15, 2014 @ 2:25 PM
Packer fans bitched at the beginning of the season how Olivia Munn new couple sex was ruining Aaron Rodgers as the Pack dropped to one win over the lowly Jets in their first three games. Though even the Munn semen draining comments were less acerbic than the cries to string Rodgers up on a ranch pole when everybody in rural Wisconsin was certain he was homosexual.
The Packers have since toppled their last three opponents which can only mean Olivia’s pulled her energy zapping vagina off the table. As much as anyone, she wants the Green and Gold might have the chance to lose in the playoffs for yet another year. Olivia’s always been considered the hot girl next door. The girl that guys want to be with and girls want to kick in the cunt because they’re jealous competitive alley cats who secretly despise Eurasians. That just makes her hotter. Olivia Munn cured Aaron Rodgers of his gay. Just imagine where she could take you if you started out fully onboard.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex April 22, 2014 @ 6:46 PM
Olivia Munn used to be fun. She’s got those Eurasian looks that make dudes assume you could fuck her while watching a ballgame while women see right through her sinister shit and want to slit her yellow throat with an onyx blade while she slumbers. I might be transferring some of my feelings and applying them to the general population as I am apt to do. Either way, I can see her nipple in one of these photos. I wasn’t even trying. I think when she was on G4 and I bought into the whole geeky hot girl next door thing that nipple was gold to me. Now that she’s all network and looking like she had work done and living off the crumbs of coffee cake others leave on the table at Starbuck’s because they assume somebody will clean it, meh, not so much. I’m thinking more about a titty twister for making me watch that first episode of Perfect Couples.
Photo Credit: Allure
By Travis February 17, 2014 @ 11:00 AM
Most actresses don’t seem that friendly or even attractive when they’re greeted at LAX for an early morning flight by fans seeking autographs and photographers with bright, obnoxious flashes, but Olivia Munn didn’t really seem to mind. She also looked effortlessly good for first thing in the morning, which is pretty impressive for an actress that we’ve already seen naked and therefore shouldn’t really care about. But it would still be nice if the TSA would finally tighten down on security in this post-9/11 world and begin using Super Soakers and garden hoses as part of their screening process. You never know what kind of terrors are being hidden from us behind a white t-shirt like that.
Photo Credits: WENN.com
By Lex August 28, 2013 @ 10:56 AM
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com, PCN