Far be it for a guy with every single body part in the ‘imperfect to downright mediocre’ category to find any fault with Olivia Wilde, an actress best known for just being super good looking. But she’s got cankles Go watch Cowboys and Aliens again, you’ll see. Not that that’s going to stop any man from doing what every man does. It’s just a little nugget we keep stored in the back of our minds for when the breakup comes and we need that thing you say that you can’t ever take back.
Jason Sudeikis seems like an all right guy and he’d be fun to hang out with at a TGI Friday’s karaoke night in an Illinois suburb, but the fact that he landed Olivia Wilde is just mind-blowing. On top of being a decent actress and extremely good-looking, she may also be the most humble woman on the planet, because she talks about Jason like he’s Daddy Long Dong and she’s just some humble concubine here to please her man.
She tells Marie Claire magazine, “I thought, ‘He won’t be interested in me; I’m not a contender.’ He was so cool, so funny – I was such a fan of his and had always fancied his speed and his intelligence. He’s a brilliant actor with a brain like lightning. I thought ‘I’m not beautiful enough or his type.’ I couldn’t wait to sit down and hear him talk.” (San Francisco Chronicle)
Even worse, she goes on to talk about how she wants to have kids with him, so she’s almost a lost cause at this point. The good news is that she’s still willing to cater to her pervert fans, as she told a guy from Geekscape at SXSW that she’d love to play Wonder Woman in a Justice League movie. Of course, when you hear her say that, she might as well be making air quotes, because she’s just being nice, kind of like how you’d expect her to act if you started crying and begging her for sex.
America teenagers are really stupid (See: the success of Nicki Minaj and Justin Bieber) and MTV is run by people who are very good at taking advantage of that stupidity. So despite the fact that no intelligent adult has watched the MTV Movie Awards in at least 10 years, the network confidently announced the nominees yesterday of its annual celebration of actors who will show up to anything.
In case you needed a reminder that the MTV Movie Awards cater to the lowest common denominator, here is an actual clip from the network’s press release:
Keeping with the show’s tradition of celebrating current cultural memes, this year’s telecast will introduce two new categories. Abdominally blessed nominees Channing Tatum (Magic Mike), Taylor Lautner (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2), Daniel Craig (Skyfall) and Christian Bale (The Dark Knight Rises) will sweat it out against fan-favorite stuffed bear Seth MacFarlane as Ted for the crown of “Best Shirtless Performance”…
Best Shirtless Moments. Four guys. Shit’s weak, MTV.
If it wanted to attract more viewers – specifically males – MTV would give Olivia Wilde a lifetime achievement award every year and then just show her stripping and lesbian scene with Ashley Greene in Butter for two hours.
Olivia Wilde is in the new Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue, dressed as… I have no idea, some old timey Hollywood dancer I guess. Or Vegas maybe. I don’t really care to be honest, I just wanted a reason to put up that .gif.
Her breasts are so much bouncier than I imagined, and I assure you, I have imagined how bouncy they may be. A lot. Probably a week or so if you added it all up.
As if Olivia Wilde needed to be any more awesome, she went to the beach with her dog in Wilmington, North Carolina, in this terrific black bikini. The bad news is she also brought her boyfriend Jason Sudeikis (image not available). Does she have low self esteem or something? I suppose this is better than cutting but only just barely.
This is nothing but Olivia Wilde leaving Alcove Cafe in Silverlake yesterday after lunch, but I honestly can’t remember a time when she looked anything less than terrific. Except for when I hid on the floor in the backseat of her car. She was really red and flush that day, I guess from the screaming. Women always say they like surprises so I don’t know what her deal was.