Pam Anderson is in Hawaii with her grabby new boyfriend Jon Rose, and just in case the phrase “Pam Anderson in a bikini” still conjures up good memories, you need to know that the banner picture was selectively chosen so as not to startle anyone. And that she’s 44 now, with two kids, and she’s spent the last 20 years laying in the sun all day then getting drunk and injected with STD’s all night. Then not washing the cum out of her hair. So lower your expectations. A lot. Keep lowering. A little more. Little more. Keep going. Lower. Little lower. Almost there. Getting warmer. In the home stretch now. Annddd… a little lower. A hint more. Ok that should do it. Go.
PAM ANDERSON - owes $493,000 in back taxes to the state of California. Hopefully she’ll pay it soon. Because that’s the problem with California. They don’t collect enough taxes. (huff post)
JESSE JAMES - had to pay off one of his whores because she could prove he cheated on Sandra Bullock with her. And by that I mean she kept a shirt with his DNA on it. This is why you need whores who swallow. If Francis Crick were still alive I’d punch that guy right in his face. (radar)
TYLER HAS SEXY READERS - but you already knew that, you handsome devil you. And Nikki is yet another one. She’s in College Humors ‘Americas Hottest College Girl’ contest, and today you can go vote for her. I feel bad because a bunch of other girls in the contest asked to get mentioned on Tyler too, but Nikki asked first. When you’re a blogger you get used to this sort of thing. Life is an endless parade of sexy women, intoxicated by my power and driven mad with passion. (college humor, facebook)
LOOK AT THIS PICTURE - this one right here. It’s two Tyler readers in Australia in some Windows 7 contest. They told me to post their picture. I’m not sure how this helps but I agreed because I’ll do anything as long as the girl ordering me around does it with that super hot Aussie accent. And also because I thought their shirt said ‘Jugs For Windows’, and it was some kind of “put em on the glass” competition.
PAM ANDERSON - has to be reminded to wear a bra and panties on ‘Dancing With The Stars’. And also to the mall. And to her kids school. And when climbing a ladder and when wearing a white cotton dress in a rain storm. But specifically, in this story, on ‘Dancing With The Stars’. (us)
TIGER WOODS - made his return to golf yesterday at ‘the Masters’, and the TV ratings are up 50 percent from last year. Even more amazing is that he’s in a position to win. They should make him play with the other end of the club from now on. (the ap)
MICHELLE HUNZIKER - is having a nice vacation on Miami Beach. She’s been there all week, at least according to these pictures. And the tracking device I taped to her purse. (splash news)
Seriously. Are you serious? Isn’t this joke about over? Apparently not. The Sun says…
The 42-year-old looked ravishing in a barely-there silver swimsuit modelling for the RICHIE RICH A-Muse Autumn/Winter 2010 collection in New York.
The mum-of-two dazzled fans on the runway as she strutted her stuff - leaving little to the imagination.
And the plunging neckline gave a whole new meaning to the word cleavage.
Well, I’m pretty sure that’s still the old meaning but whatever. I at least take comfort that she was at a fashion show. At this point it seems just as likely she did this at her kids graduation or something.
BIG BANG THEORY - with the laugh track removed is confusing. How will I know if a joke has been told? They should have a blinking light system in the corner that tells me when to laugh. Green means laugh, Yellow means it’s time to catch your breath from laughing, and Red means to put on your laughing hat because another big joke is comin’ down the tracks. (you tube)
PAM ANDERSON - will be a contestant on the next season of ‘Dancing With the Stars’, and for the first few weeks all her dancing will be set to ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’. She’ll save ‘Slave 4 U’ and ‘Can A Nigga Get A Table Dance’ until she needs to really show the judges what she can do. (radar)
NOAH CYRUS - is not part of a lingerie line for little kids, despite that story being everywhere yesterday. The company allegedly behind this actually makes ballet dresses for little girls, which is essentially the same thing, except now your disgusting erotic fantasy is set to romantic music and feels kind of classy. (cnbc)
Last week, Pam Anderson did an in-store promotional appearance at the Virgin Records on Sunset the Apple Store on 5th Avenue the Rite Aid drug store in Nerbeth, Pennsylvania. “How degrading,” said a girl who stars in porn movies where guys pee on her.
The good news is that Pam was in Miami last night for a well promoted fashion show inside a trendy South Beach nightclub, just the thing she needed to heal her wounded pride. That bad news is that the 20 fans who showed up didn’t heal a god damn thing. The Daily Mail says…
With a new fashion line to plug, Pamela Anderson was hoping to get as much publicity as possible.
But despite showcasing the designs herself in the tiniest of little black dresses in a chic Miami nightclub, her fashion show failed to bring in the crowds last night.
The former Baywatch star, 41, was left red-faced when only 20 people were there to greet her as she turned up to the Play venue to watch her A*Muse fashion show.
By all accounts Pam is one of the nicest people in the world, but that’s embarrassing and it’s her own fault for still whoring around with a bunch of weirdos at age 41. “20 people embarrassed to be in this dark and empty cavernous space” would also be a good way to describe the guys who have had sex with Pam so far this year.
