Pamela Anderson Regrets Being Naked

By Lex April 15, 2014 @ 3:25 PM

Pamela Anderson Shows Lasered Tattoo Out With Her Son In Las Vegas
With age comes wisdom. Though depending on your IQ starting point, you easily could just be an older stupid person. Pamela Anderson has a few regrets looking back on her long career of showing off her tits. Amazingly, she didn’t mention the drugs or drinking or disease or sex tape or failed marriages or drowned kid in her pool. She didn’t even have the wherewithal to note her crappy new haircut. Her big regret is posing nude in Playboy. Which confirms for me what I’ve always believed — women who say they’re biggest regret is posing in Playboy have so many fucked up issues worse than ever posing in Playboy they should get a kick in the kidney with a boot for even saying it aloud. Pamela says that her Playboy photos caused her two boys to be pestered and bullied in school growing up. I’m guessing you do get some ribbing when your chums have all masturbated to your moms nude photos. Though probably not as much as when you’re mom shows up snockered to school functions with her tits falling out of her top and Tommy Lee’s feelgood caking on her face. It’s odd how people choose their biggest regret. My mom once told me she regretted not being pro-choice when younger. I like to think she had remorse for being so old-fashioned in her political views, but I know that’s not what she meant.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

I Just Quit Pam Anderson

By Lex December 23, 2013 @ 4:35 PM

Pamela Anderson Goes For A Run In Malibu
Pam Anderson cut off her big blonde hair and reduced the size of her tits in order to complete her list of removing any reason for the world to care about her. I think she is still smuggling vagina bombs for PETA into university laboratories, but unless you like to watch Indian scientists on J-1 visas go boom, there’s little intrigue left in Pam Anderson. She’s even back to boning Rick Salomon, like a retread fuck up. She’s just out of gas. She’s probably not even binge drinking anymore. I’m done with Pam Anderson.

Photo Credit:

Pam Anderson And Rick Salomon Sure Class Up A Joint

By Travis November 14, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Pamela Anderson debuted her new short haircut recently and it doesn’t look bad at all, but when she paired it with her boyfriend Rick Salomon’s interesting fashion decisions last night at the Martin Katz Jewel Suite Debuts at the New York Palace Hotel, it looked a lot like the beginning of an episode of Cops: Little Rock. In his defense, Rick might not have known what the event was all about, so he just grabbed the first few things off the pile on the floor of his studio apartment, after he kicked the two-week old pizza box off of it. Then, as he arrived at the event, a bus hit him and dragged him 17 blocks. If that’s what happened, then that’s totally understandable.

Photo Credits: Getty

Pamela Anderson Ices Down Her Crotch After Marathon

By Lex November 04, 2013 @ 4:35 PM

Pamela Anderson seems to have hurt her vagina running the NYC marathon. Though it’s possible what we’re seeing is more of a cumulative effect of the past twenty-five years. Pam did raise $76K for the island nation of Haiti which was hobbled by a 2010 earthquake right on the heels of 200 really bad years. This is $76K more than Kim Kardashian raised by landing in the country in her pearls to make everyone forget she just staged a wedding for TV money. I hope Pam’s landlord is moved by this Haiti charity story the next time he comes looking for her back rent.

Photo Credit: Instagram/ PCN

Pamela Anderson Topless at a French Beach

By Lex October 03, 2013 @ 2:31 PM

Pamela Anderson Goes Topless At The Beach In France
There is no greater disappointment in life than that felt when first visiting a topless beach in Europe. The expectation of an endless sea of hot Mediterranean girls with perfectly tanned tits is dashed upon seeing your first German hausfraus with leathery chest bladders dripping over her belly fold like weakly fried schnitzels. The blood drains out of your dick so fast it actually makes a sound. I suppose seeing Pamela Anderson and her inflated tubes on the beach would evoke many feelings. The first being the instinct to throw a couple dollars in her direction and ask her for a private dance.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet