Paris Hilton forgot something

By brendon March 03, 2011 @ 7:22 PM

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Paris Hilton dressed up like a dirty hippie, in a headband and tie-dyed summer dress, to spend a few hours at the CHI Nail Bar & Organic Spa in Beverly Hills today. Apparently she couldn’t find a cruelty-free bra.

(image source = pacific coast and wenn)

Paris and Nikki Hilton are in Hawaii

By brendon December 24, 2010 @ 10:12 AM

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Paris Hilton is ugly, and her sister Nikki is even uglier, so these pictures of them in bikinis in Hawaii yesterday were only interesting when it looked like they might start kissing. That didn’t happen. So… moving right along.

(source = splash news online)

Paris Hilton is taking back the streets

By brendon November 19, 2010 @ 6:32 PM

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Paris Hilton, in front of a camera crew while wearing a diamond Chanel necklace and black stiletto heels, volunteered her time today to help the Hollywood Beautification Team paint over graffiti, some of it tags left by the MS-13 gang. And she wasn’t even scared. She was laughing and smiling the whole time while disrespecting the Maras. She knows they’re too scared to do anything about it. “Them beetches aint gonna sheet, holmes” she probably said, mocking their Latin accents. Daammn. I guess we know who runs the streets of Hollywood, don’t we MS-13.

Paris Hilton was a drunk sexy Indian for Halloween

By brendon November 01, 2010 @ 2:12 PM

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Paris Hilton went to the Playboy Halloween party dressed as someone I would probably have sex with, while her dumb sister went dressed like someone hired for a kids birthday party. Luckily, these are just pictures, so we can crop out Nikki and Paris’ fug little rat face and focus on her hot body and her nipple which was sort of poking out. Here’s to you, Inventor Of Photography!

Paris Hilton is topless

By brendon October 12, 2010 @ 9:37 AM

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This week sure has been surprising, and not just because of summers unplanned pregnancies that I’m only hearing about now and need to deal with (time to move!) Yesterday there were new topless pictures of Kim Kardashian, and today there are sort of topless pics of Paris Hilton on some bikini photo shoot in Malibu.

She covers her chest for the most part (except for here) which is weird because her tits are clearly her best feature. If she’s gonna hide anything it should be that big dumb face of hers and her one and a half eyes. Someone go punch her in the stomach. That will fix this problem. Actually that will fix both of my problems in this post.

Paris Hiltons boyfriend ran over a paparazzi

By brendon September 30, 2010 @ 2:18 PM








Let’s just go through TMZs bullshit summary point by point…

It all went down as paparazzi swarmed the car as Paris and Cy Waits left Boa in West Hollywood.  The posse of paparazzi was all over the car, when suddenly Cy accelerated, knocking a photog down.

Tragedy strikes without prejudice. One minute you could be standing in the street in front of a moving car at night flashing bright lights into the drivers eyes, and the next you’re in the hospital. It’s all random, you have to make the most of every day. Promise me, after you’re done here, that you’ll go home to your loved ones, and hold ‘em tight.

The couple took off and the photog called the cops.

“This car just came out of nowhere!”

Paramedics were also called and took the female photog to a local hospital.

“We have a fattie with a boo-boo, I need double-bacon brownies and a fried chicken STAT!”

We’re told at some point later, Cy came back, sans Paris, and spoke with police. Law enforcement sources tell us Cy was cited for hit-and-run, then allowed to leave.

“Just so you know Mr. Waits, we’re gonna let them blast air horns and shoot flares at you from now on, too.”

And get this … sources say Paris is saying, “The pap is making up injuries.”

As if she isn’t gonna be rich enough once her pictures of Paris Hilton sitting in a car on a Wednesday night hit the open market.

Law enforcement sources also tell us they’re looking into all of the photogs, because flashing the lights could have blinded the driver … which may constitute interfering with the operation of a motor vehicle — which is also a crime.

“We hid some snakes in his car too, but that’s no reason for him to drive around at 5 miles per hour like some kind of maniac.”

(video source = pacific coast news)