Paris Hilton is topless again

By brendon July 23, 2010 @ 6:33 PM

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Mostly these are bikini pictures of Paris Hilton on a yacht in Sardinia, Italy, and then at the end there’s a few more topless pictures of her from some German newspaper (here are the ones from Monday). She actually looks pretty good here, but a few years ago we all committed to flat out hating her, and because of that she disappeared for the most part, so let’s all stick with that.

paris hilton is topless, in trouble for weed again

By brendon July 19, 2010 @ 8:28 AM

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It might be stupid that marijuana is illegal in most countries, but it is, so you have to be smart if you want to carry some when you travel. Needless to say Paris Hilton is dumb as a rock, so she’s been detained twice this month in foreign countries for possession. First at the World Cup in South Africa on July 2nd, and then again Friday in Corsica. The Daily Mail says…

“Hilton was taken aside as she landed at Figari. She was searched in a secure area of the airport police station and an amount of cannabis that weighed less than a gram, was found in her handbag.”
“Due to the small amount of the substance, she was cautioned to not travel with drugs then released within an hour with no criminal charges. The drug was confiscated and destroyed.”

The next day she no doubt destroyed some more on this yacht off the coast of Sardinia, where she lounged around topless for a while. These pictures show the only way Paris Hilton is even tolerable; blurry, naked, and in international waters so you can tie her to a rock and throw her overboard.

(source = inf daily)

Paris Hilton has been arrested in South Africa (update!)

By brendon July 02, 2010 @ 6:59 PM

Paris Hilton & Her Nipples Out In Santa Monica

Think of the scariest possible thing that could ever happen to a spoiled little brat like Paris Hilton. Now double it. Now double that. Now read this AP report about her getting locked up abroad for possession of marijuana…

Paris Hilton appeared briefly late Friday in a South African courtroom after being arrested on suspicion possession of marijuana.
Neither she nor court officials said anything and she was quickly led away to another room.
Hilton was detained in Port Elizabeth earlier Friday for possession of marijuana charges, two South African police officers said.
Hilton’s Los Angeles-based publicist, Dawn Miller, said she was awaiting details from the court appearance before commenting.
A police officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said Hilton was caught with an unspecified amount of marijuana.
“She was found in possession of some amount of dagga,” the officer said, using the local name for marijuana. “We don’t know how much. It’s a high profile person, only the top cops are dealing with it,” he said.

Based on nothing but racism I’m assuming African jails are a terrifying hell, especially for someone like Paris. She’ll be the guards instant favorite. At best one of them will steal her and trade her to another village for a door or a pound of nails or something. More likely in 6 months her vagina is gonna look like someone picked her up and swung her around by it.

DISAPPOINTING UPDATE – Aww god dammit. She’s already out. “The case has been dropped against Paris and no charges will be made.”

see-thru paris hilton is confusing

By brendon April 29, 2010 @ 5:05 PM

Paris Hilton & Her Nipples Out In Santa Monica

Whenever Paris Hilton tries to look sexy, the result is always terrible. Her hair always seems like someone looking the other way did it while they rode around on a horse. But then she’ll walk around like this and look way way better. Hair down, and just a see-thru tshirt with no bra and some… whatever those pants are called. Every time she tries half as hard she always looks twice as good. If she tried a quarter as hard, she’d look four times as good, and if she didn’t try at all, she would transform into a golden beam of omnipotent light.

(source = flynet online)

paris hilton + a bikini = zzzzzz

By brendon April 26, 2010 @ 9:27 AM

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It’s been a long time since Paris Hilton pictures were a subject on Tyler, and they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, soo…

Okay apparently it hasn’t been long enough yet because I still hate her. Even in a bikini in Vegas this weekend at the Hard Rock pool. God she’s ugly. It’s disgusting. She’s all flat, sharp angles, like a sculpture that no one bothered to finish. And why would they? Look at it. What’s the point? She’s got that big goofy nose, and her head looks like a block of wood that’s way too big for the rest of her body, which is just a bunch of sticks. To be honest she sort of looks like Pinocchio when he was still a marionette. Oh I know. I’m gettin all turned on too.

go kill yourself paris hilton

By brendon October 19, 2009 @ 5:08 PM

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Paris Hilton is just one of many who are doing cameos in a new movie starring Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Samuel L. Jackson, Eva Mendes, Michael Keaton and Dwayne Johnson, and in fact she had just one day of shooting, but she made the most of it by acting like a spoiled bitch from start to finish. Page Six says…

…in the cop-action comedy “The Other Guys,” now shooting in New York.
A source reports, “Paris has a cameo role in the movie, where she plays herself. It is all being kept very hush-hush.
“But the producers were shocked when her team handed them a three-page list of demands — including live lobsters to be prepared fresh when she’s ready to eat and a bottle of Grey Goose vodka — all for just one day on the set.
“All celebrities are typically offered riders, but it seemed excessive for just one day’s work playing herself. She was due to fly to New York to film in secret last week.”

Note that last part said “in secret last week.” Okay so what are the odds Paris honored that? You know what just forget I asked.

…on Thursday, she reportedly tweeted: “Just got done with the fitting with the stylist for the new Will Ferrell movie I’m shooting in NY. Excited! Will is my favorite comedian.”

You know whats better than a story about Paris Hilton? Literally anything on earth. So instead let’s all look at pictures of Susan Sarandins daughter stripping last night on ‘Californication‘. Going from Paris Hilton being a bitch to Eva Amuri being naked is like going from being raped by a tiger at the zoo while everyone films it to being raped by Megan Fox at home while I film it.

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