Jim Jefferies has a bit about the 10 commandments where he says that instead of 10 all you really need is one; Try not to be a cunt. Just try. Do your best. It’s good advice in life, and even better advice for going on a radio show.
Well yesterday Paris Hilton did an interview with Opie and Anthony and Jim Norton, and she didn’t do that. Instead she was a boring cunt. She was there to promote ‘The World According to Paris’ (which desperately needs it), and her plan to do that was to sit perfectly still and occasionally mumble for 10 minutes. What a natural born entertainer she is. After seeing this I want to go buy another DVR so I can tape her show twice.
Paris Hilton and her mom were on CNN last night, so obviously this was no time to talk about her infamous sex tape.
I’m just kidding, that’ll be fine. But only so Paris can talk about how she doesn’t want to talk about it.
“This is not what I planned. I didn’t want to be known as that.
“And now when people look at me they think that I’m something I’m not just because of one incident one night with someone who I was in love with.
“People assume ‘Oh, she’s a slut’ because of one thing that happened to me and it’s hard because I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life and explain it to my children.”
Remember that time Paris Hilton was at a club and someone was filming it and she looked into the camera and said, “We’re like two niggers.” If you don’t watch the video above because that’s it.
Well the reason she said that is because she was out partying and drunk but mostly because she’s racist as fuck and always has been. LA Weekly has an excerpt from a new book about Hollywood from reporter Neil Straus, who interviewed her at a party when she was 18…
during which she takes a hit of E at a party, brags about her boob job at 14 (her mom made her remove them), a possible pose for Playboy, and a would-be conquest that didn’t happen because…
Paris is a good storyteller, let’s let her tell it.
HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.
STRAUSS: Which guy?
HILTON: (points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?
STRAUSS: How black does a guy have to be?
HILTON: One percent is enough for me.
Is this really a surprise? You can just look at some people and tell they say “nigger” a lot and Paris Hilton is definitely one of them.
Paris Hilton dressed up like a dirty hippie, in a headband and tie-dyed summer dress, to spend a few hours at the CHI Nail Bar & Organic Spa in Beverly Hills today. Apparently she couldn’t find a cruelty-free bra.
Paris Hilton is ugly, and her sister Nikki is even uglier, so these pictures of them in bikinis in Hawaii yesterday were only interesting when it looked like they might start kissing. That didn’t happen. So… moving right along.
Paris Hilton, in front of a camera crew while wearing a diamond Chanel necklace and black stiletto heels, volunteered her time today to help the Hollywood Beautification Team paint over graffiti, some of it tags left by the MS-13 gang. And she wasn’t even scared. She was laughing and smiling the whole time while disrespecting the Maras. She knows they’re too scared to do anything about it. “Them beetches aint gonna sheet, holmes” she probably said, mocking their Latin accents. Daammn. I guess we know who runs the streets of Hollywood, don’t we MS-13.