way to go Japan. thanks a lot.

By brendon September 23, 2010 @ 2:58 PM

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Paris Hilton was supposed to be in Tokyo today for a promotional appearance, and that would have been followed by stops in Malaysia and Indonesia. I don’t know much about those last two places but they sound dangerous as hell. The kind of place where white people get hacked into pieces. It was very encouraging. But then officials in Japan wouldn’t let her in, and now…

“I’m really tired,” said Hilton, who spent more than six hours being grilled by immigration officials at Narita International Airport. “I’m going back home.”
Hilton, 29, had been scheduled for an appearance in Tokyo today followed by visits to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and Jakarta, Indonesia, later this week. Those stops have also been bagged.

God dammit what is your deal, Japan? You sent her back, and now that bitch won’t leave. Don’t you have monsters over there? Why didn’t you just feed her to one of them? If you were worried about some kind of political fallout, hey, look, if you say you haven’t seen her, that’s good enough for us.

(image source = splash news online)

aww screw you Japan

By brendon September 22, 2010 @ 1:07 PM

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Yesterday Paris Hilton was denied entry into Japan because, just hours earlier, she was sentenced to a years probation for possession of cocaine in Las Vegas. She landed in Tokyo, officials detained her, she stayed at a nearby motel overnight, and now…

Paris Hilton has flown back home to Los Angeles after she was barred from entering Japan.
Japan has strict immigration laws that bar entry to those convicted of drug offenses.
Hilton — who was set to participate in a fashion show and promote her perfume line with sister Nicky — Twittered that she was disappointed she had to leave and “miss” her fans in Asia.
“I promise to come back soon,” she vowed. “I love you all! Love Paris xoxo.”

Hey what the fuck Japan? Look, we don’t want her either. Do we really have to let her back in? There has to be some crooked official here that can find a loophole so we can do the same thing Japan did. What about that name of hers? Sounds French to me. Is she a French spy? Maybe. Do you wanna just sit there and find out the hard way? I know I don’t.

everyone hates Paris Hilton

By brendon September 21, 2010 @ 5:43 PM

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Just hours after appearing in a Las Vegas courtroom yesterday to enter her plea agreement for cocaine charges, Paris Hilton was detained by officials at an airport in Tokyo.

It should have been simple enough, because if there’s one thing foreign countries love, it’s Americans with criminal records entering their country, but for some reason things aren’t going so well. E! says…

She was scheduled to make an in-store appearance in Tokyo Wednesday, but that’s in jeopardy after she was detained upon landing at Japan’s Narita Airport.
Immigration officials detained Paris upon arrival. Anyone on a suspended jail term (such as Hilton) is not allowed to enter Japan except for “special reasons.”
Paris is reportedly staying in an airport hotel overnight while the situation gets sorted out, and she may return to the United States without making her scheduled stops in Malaysia and Indonesia.

I know it goes without saying at this point, but wow. Paris Hilton is a fukcin moron. The only thing the Asians are better at than making girls I want to have sex with is following rules. Of course they stopped her dumb ass. Or maybe they saw her wonk eye and thought she was making fun of them. A good caning should get the truth out of her.

Paris Hilton avoids jail time on her cocaine charge

By brendon September 20, 2010 @ 11:20 AM

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When Paris Hilton was arrested with possession of cocaine in Las Vegas on August 27th, she faced up to a year in jail if convicted. And since she absolutely did it, going to court was not the greatest idea. So today she plead guilty in a deal that avoids all jail time.

Clark County District Attorney David Roger says Hilton has agreed to plead guilty Monday to drug possession and obstructing an officer…
Hilton will serve a year of unsupervised probation and complete a drug abuse program under the plea agreement.

People complain because drugs are illegal in this country, but from what I can tell they’re not. These Hollywood people get arrested all the time but no one ever goes to jail.

You know how sometimes you’ll see a list of weird old laws that are still on the books, like it’s illegal to get a horse drunk, or you can kill the Irish on Mondays or some shit like that? In Hollywood the drug laws are like that, except these have uglier mugshots.

Paris Hilton hid cocaine in her vagina

By brendon September 08, 2010 @ 7:33 PM

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Paris Hilton used to hide cocaine in her vagina to sneak it past airport police when traveling, according to a new book. And also, just, according to common sense. It just seems like something she would do.

The book was written by former ‘Girls Gone Wild’ cameraman Ryan Simkin, and he claims ‘Girls’ founder Joe Francis once had him deliver cocaine to Hilton during a photoshoot for Seventeen magazine. After that, the Hollywood Reporter says…

Hilton was leaving for Europe, Simkin writes, and he alleges he brought her a little Camel cigarette box filled with cocaine and ecstasy for her trip.
“I asked if she was flying private, and she said, ‘No, commercial.’ And then as politely as I could, I asked her how she planned on traveling with that amount of blow and X,” Simkin writes in the book. “She held the box in her right hand, and then with an underhand swoop like a lower case J, she demonstrated exactly how she intended to beat airport security. She even whistled as she did it. A little alley-oop with the Camel Box, straight up her snatch. Classic.”

The only part I don’t believe is that this whore is tight enough to keep a small cigarette box inside of her. It would bounce around, she would sound like a rattle. She would still get caught because the cops would think she was smuggling a piggy bank.

it doesnt matter if Paris Hilton is lying

By brendon September 07, 2010 @ 5:53 PM

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When Las Vegas police found cocaine in Paris Hiltons purse last week, she claimed she didn’t know anything about it, because it wasn’t her purse. She borrowed the purse, and she never knew there was any cocaine inside, she said. That was a lie very obviously, but can the Vegas police prove it’s a lie?

Turns out they don’t actually care either way. The LA Times says…

Whether Paris Hilton owned the purse she was carrying that contained cocaine is irrelevant, Las Vegas police say.
What is important is she had possession of it with narcotics inside, they say.
Hilton has insisted the purse she was arrested with Saturday night is not hers. And in the days since, several websites have produced photos she allegedly posted on Twitter before her arrest of the purse in question.
But Las Vegas Police Metro police say what is relevant are the credit cards, cash and prescription medications inside the purse that did belong to her.
“We took the narcotics but gave her back the purse. It does not matter if she says the purse is not hers, it was in her possession,” Las Vegas Officer Barbara Morgan said in an e-mail to the Times. “I cannot tell you how many times I have found narcotics in people’s pants pockets, and they tell me the pants are not theirs. We don’t take their pants from them.”

And to prove she’s too dumb to even be nervous, Paris went down to Hawaii this weekend with her boyfriend, Cy Waits. I’m surprised he had time in between his 40 weekly upper body workouts. It’s tough, but looking like a former wheelchair athlete who can walk again now always is.