it doesnt matter if Paris Hilton is lying

By brendon September 07, 2010 @ 5:53 PM

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When Las Vegas police found cocaine in Paris Hiltons purse last week, she claimed she didn’t know anything about it, because it wasn’t her purse. She borrowed the purse, and she never knew there was any cocaine inside, she said. That was a lie very obviously, but can the Vegas police prove it’s a lie?

Turns out they don’t actually care either way. The LA Times says…

Whether Paris Hilton owned the purse she was carrying that contained cocaine is irrelevant, Las Vegas police say.
What is important is she had possession of it with narcotics inside, they say.
Hilton has insisted the purse she was arrested with Saturday night is not hers. And in the days since, several websites have produced photos she allegedly posted on Twitter before her arrest of the purse in question.
But Las Vegas Police Metro police say what is relevant are the credit cards, cash and prescription medications inside the purse that did belong to her.
“We took the narcotics but gave her back the purse. It does not matter if she says the purse is not hers, it was in her possession,” Las Vegas Officer Barbara Morgan said in an e-mail to the Times. “I cannot tell you how many times I have found narcotics in people’s pants pockets, and they tell me the pants are not theirs. We don’t take their pants from them.”

And to prove she’s too dumb to even be nervous, Paris went down to Hawaii this weekend with her boyfriend, Cy Waits. I’m surprised he had time in between his 40 weekly upper body workouts. It’s tough, but looking like a former wheelchair athlete who can walk again now always is.

Thursday morning headlines

By brendon September 02, 2010 @ 12:02 PM

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PARIS HILTON – is lying. She said she borrowed the purse that had cocaine in it when she was arrested in Vegas. If that’s true, she borrowed a purse identical to this one, which she bragged about on twitter in July. Shocking, isn’t it? Just when you think you know someone. (radar)

ELLEN POMPEO – has 12 toes. At least according to this nonsense. I don’t mean to brag, but I think I know a toe when I see one. (daily mail)

KELLEN LUTZ – of ‘Twilight’ was seen outside his Studio City apartment yesterday, and there haven’t been many pictures of him on here before, but now it makes sense. Now I get why those girls at the pool thought I was Kellan. I mean, my eyes are more of a piercing blue obviously, but I had sunglasses on, so, yeah, from this distance, I can totally see it. (fame)

Paris Hilton might actually be in trouble

By brendon August 31, 2010 @ 4:00 PM

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These stories never turn out the way I want them to (with a hanging, and crows), but Paris Hilton could be in real trouble after Las Vegas police found almost a gram of cocaine in her purse this weekend.

Hilton is claiming it wasn’t her purse and she didn’t know the coke was there, but as a legal analyst for CBS news points out, that’s fuking retarded.

Read more >

Paris Hilton charged with felony possession of cocaine

By brendon August 30, 2010 @ 2:39 PM

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Paris Hilton was charged with felony possession of cocaine today in Las Vegas, and if convicted, she could face a minimum of one year in jail. This all began Friday night after she was pulled over for suspicion of smoking marijuana, leading police to find .8 grams of cocaine in her purse.

Okay now and try and guess if Paris was undone by good old fashioned police work, or because she’s so fantastically stupid she literally took the cocaine from it’s secure hiding spot and dropped it into the cops hand. The answer may surprise you. (NOTE: It won’t surprise you.)

TMZ says that after being pulled over…

…a crowd (gathered), Hilton said she was “extremely embarrassed” and asked the cop if she could go to the bathroom at the Wynn Hotel.
At the hotel, Paris told the cop she needed lip balm so the cop handed Paris her purse: “As she began to open it, I saw a small bindle of what I believed to be cocaine in a clear baggie begin to fall from the purse and into my hand.”

The good decision making marathon continued after that when Paris told the cops it wasn’t her purse and she didn’t know about the cocaine, but did admit that all the other stuff in the purse, such as $1300 in cash and credit cards, were hers. Keep in mind when girls go out they usually have some tiny purse that holds only a few small things. But Paris would have you believe this purse was like a top hat in a magic show, you can reach in up to your shoulder, and WHO KNOWS what you’re gonna find in there. Lip balm, cocaine, some doves or a dozen roses, Paris is just as surprised as the rest of us.

Paris Hilton was arrested with cocaine

By brendon August 30, 2010 @ 9:31 AM

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Paris Hilton was arrested for possession of cocaine Friday night in Vegas, the third time this summer she’s been detained by police for drugs (1, 2), and the third time this summer I’ve hoped someone is cutting coke with ground up glass. Us magazine says…

Police pulled over a car that (Hilton) was riding in Friday night on the Las Vegas Strip because officers thought they smelled marijuana smoke.
They then found an undisclosed amount of cocaine in Hilton’s purse.
Hilton was booked around 2 a.m. on a cocaine possession charge and was released.

That’s her Vegas mug shot above there. As you can see, she’s not real concerned about this. She should be though. Vegas cops don’t screw around. Someone is probably in her car planting the gun that shot Tupac as we speak. You’re gonna hang for this, Hilton.

someone tried to kill Paris Hilton :)

By brendon August 24, 2010 @ 12:28 PM

paris_hilton_knife

Just a few hours ago, Paris Hilton went on her twitter to say that one of her biggest fans tried to break into her house this morning and give her a stabby present lol.

“So Scary, just got woken up to a guy trying to break into my house holding 2 big knifes. Cops are here arresting (him).”

And then she posted the picture above (full size copy here) showing this young go getter in handcuffs, being hassled by the man. This is obviously very sad and serious but Paris Hilton sucks so who gives a fuck. Life is a precious gift, but let’s not get carried away.

DISAPPOINTING UPDATE – Look, everyone wants to stab Paris Hilton to death, I don’t think anyone has come here today to dispute that, but I don’t think it would have killed this guy to plan this out a little better. Paris told Radar she woke up when she heard the suspect banging on her windows and her dogs barking loudly. “What a scary sight to wake up to. I can’t believe the knives he was carrying. Thank god the police arrived quickly.”