By Lex November 07, 2013 @ 1:45 PM
Once you get past the heavy drinking and twisted parenting and emotionally retarded need for middle-aged porn attention, Tan Mom has a lot to offer her next soul mate. For instance, her weathered skin can survive pending extreme climate change and she can live entirely off expired canned tomato products. Also, she hates bras, so you can expect those leathery saddle bags to be slapping you in the face every time you go to help her pick up the food stamps that fall out of her purse during street arrests. I’d get in there now, before she’s snapped up by an ambitious Buttafuoco.
Photo Credit: PCN
By Jack November 04, 2013 @ 3:15 PM
Everyone’s favorite drunken leather purse, Patricia Krentcil the tanning mom, is splitting up with her husband Richard. The reason? He failed a lie detector test about fidelity on the TV show The Test. That and apparently he has a small dick. She talks about it in her horribly awful stand-up routine (see below). You’ll recall that Patricia skyrocketed to infamy last year after she took her 5-year-old daughter to get a tan. Presumably so she could be the same shade of Oompa Loompa porn orange as her mom. Patricia wants $1000 a week in child support and alimony from the husband for sticking his small willy in another woman. I’d feel bad for this guy except for the fact that he married her and really fucking stupid people need to learn the hard way from their mistakes if they’re to ever get better.
By Jack July 08, 2013 @ 1:47 PM
Patricia Krentcil, everyone’s favorite overcooked sausage/shitty mother, is back in rehab after suffering a seizure. It’s unclear but it looks like the seizure was caused by her system trying to adjust to not being bombarded by constant UV radiation and Parrothead happy hour specials from Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville Cafe. She has been in the Lukens Institute since June 20th after she was to drunk to get on a plane in Minneapolis. She had to be pretty fucking wasted considering the level of inebriation of half of the passengers on most commercial flights.
I’m not sure why it is that Patricia fascinates us so here at WWTDD. Maybe it’s a childhood fondness for ugly orange creatures stemming from too many viewings of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or maybe it’s because she epitomizes the kind of fame seeking douchebaggery that feeds our engine of shit talking. Either way, we hope she survives. Just think of all the remarkably stupid ass shit she has yet to do.
By Lex June 17, 2013 @ 2:35 PM
How many times are we going to see this same story played out? A negligent mother gaining fame by UV cooking her little daughter, only to see that fame turn into a sordid tale of Hollywood ambition, naked photos, pornography, nightclub appearances, and ultimately burned out and drunk in a Minneapolis airport and forced into detox. I hope this latest incident let’s us finally talk openly about the need to round up crazy women with baggage and cement fill their baby making parts.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet