Tanning Mom Creates The Single Worst Music Video Ever

By Lex August 14, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Here’s my own confession. I can’t name you a single person famous for running into a burning building to save a kid, but I can tell you exactly who Tanning Mom is. That’s going to be a solid blemish on the record at the Pearly Gates. Patty Krentcil had no fucking clue what to do with her fifteen minutes of fame, she only knew she loved it. With no actual marketable skills, she tried nude modeling and pornography and when that didn’t work, she just tried drinking and rehab. Now she’s trying music. This is the single most horrible music video ever conceived or produced. And I say that in deference to music videos of the mid to late 1990′s. If you get to the part where Tanning Mom inserts clips of herself fucked up and stumbling in the Minneapolis airport and you don’t agree, turn it off. In fact, don’t even watch this shit in the first place, you’re just going to hate me (more).

Tanning Mom Now Doing Porn…Sort Of

By Michael May 13, 2013 @ 2:20 PM

Human leather purse Patricia Krentcil, “The Tanning Mom”, has gotten her wish and is going to appear in her first porn. Calm your gag reflexes, she isn’t having sex in it. She has a walk-on clothed role in the gay porn series Kings of New York.  We told you that this New Jersey Oompa Loompa wanted Vivid to hire her for a pornographic picture show. She said she was way hotter than Farrah Abraham, because the UV radiation has fried her brain, plus Farrah isn’t really very hot, so, fair enough. But Vivid declined because they couldn’t find a single person in the world interested in seeing her naked, let alone her dehydrated jerky parts. Krentcil got paid $1000 for her cameo appearance, presumably to portray the mother of the leather couch upon which two male baristas will plow the crap out of each other while still in their aprons. A true barista never removes their apron.