Paula Abdul Sues Fat Burning Salon For Burning Her

By Michael January 10, 2014 @ 3:17 PM

Once relevant Paula Abdul is suing a tanning salon for burning her legs and thighs back in 2012 when they were supposed to be burning her cellulite. It seems that the former entertainer head went to a the UVASUN tanning salon and had an infrared body wrap, which only sounds super safe. Apparently, they turned the oven on too hot and it scorched third degree burn sores on her once desirable flesh rather than dissolving her chub rub beneath. She alleges that they improperly used their human toaster which led to her getting extra crispy. I doubt that the lawsuit will go anywhere. Those places always make you sign a waiver before you climb into one of their cancer machines. Paula Abdul is ten years past getting any sympathy from a jury. Why not just opt for good old fashion liposuction? It’s only got a 20% kill rate. Or, you know, less booze and more jogging.

Paula Abdul Had Her Bat Mitzvah In Israel

By Travis October 30, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Paula Abdul could barely contain her batshit excitement when she met Israel’s President Shimon Peres yesterday during her visit to his country, as she was there to celebrate her Bat Mitzvah just a few decades after most other Jewish girls. The former pop star and American Idol judge was invited by Israel’s Tourism Ministry to have her Bat Mitzvah ceremony at the Western Wall. This is a little more extravagant than most Jewish girls’ Bat Mitzvahs, as they’re typically only invited to a portrait studio for Glamour Shots before meeting with a therapist who will try to explain why daddy left mommy for that 20-year old nafka at his office.

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Paula Abdul got fired from X Factor

By brendon January 31, 2012 @ 11:53 AM


The ratings for the American version of ‘X Factor’ were disappointing to say the least, and much lower than ‘X Factor’ ratings in the UK, and one problem may have been too much giggling and too many accents. And so the all girls and everyone from Wales has been fired.

Actually Nicole Scherzinger may be leaving by choice (with a rep saying, “She wants to focus on her music career. She’s spoken to Simon and he’s given her his blessing.”), but handsome and capable host Steve Jones has been fired (said Cowell, “I don’t think he did a bad job but, like ‘America’s Got Talent,’ there is a Brit limit on the show.” ) and so has Paula Abdul.

Fox has informed Simon Cowell’s longtime friend Paula Abdul she won’t be needed for the series’ next installment.
“She found out today,” says a show source. “At this point, the only ones staying are Simon and L.A. Reid.”

Oh so the only two who knew what they were talking about. Actually Nicole was good but Paula somehow got even dumber than she was on ‘Idol’. She somehow contributed even less. When it was her time to talk they might as well have just had someone read a fortune cookie or Snapple lid.

Paula Abdul could have been shot last night

By brendon December 16, 2011 @ 12:37 PM


LAPD showed up at Paula Abduls house in Sherman Oaks at about 2:30 this morning, with guns drawn, after getting a call from a private security company saying her alarm was going off.

They arrived to find the house empty but with the front door open. Police say nothing was stolen and there was no evidence of a break in, so if you’re ever in Sherman Oaks, feel free to go rob Paula Abduls house since she apparently leaves the front door unlocked. You probably have at least 10 minutes before the cops show up. Bring a shopping cart and it’ll be like one of those game shows.

(source = ok!)

Paula Abdul demands to be called a gift

By brendon August 12, 2011 @ 4:50 PM


According to Paula Abdul, everyone is always out to get Paula Abdul and she’s constantly taken advantage of and abused. She even broke down in tears on her reality show one time and said…

“I’m tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am.”

Well apparently this is still a problem because a source tells Us magazine that Paula needs a new assistant, and you can bet your ass they’ll be treating her like the gift she is.

Each assistant must carry and use a tape recorder at all times “because she doesn’t trust her own conversations,” the source says.
“She also makes them check the TiVo for any mention of her and put it on a DVD.”
(They) should also prepare to go through her email — and respond to family and friends as the star herself.
(Paula) also needs constant reminders that she is a “warrior, survivor and gift.”

Hopefully this is true because I agree with Paula a hundred percent. She sang several popular songs between 1988 and 1991, and she deserves our praise and gratitude. That piece of shit Nelson Mandella didn’t sing any popular songs, none, and yet everyone acts like he’s so great. How does that make any sense? It’s way past time that we got our priorities in the right place.

Monday headlines, with X Factor and secret Avenger endings

By brendon May 09, 2011 @ 1:09 PM

PAULA ABDUL – has officially signed on to reunite with Simon Cowell and be the fourth judge on ‘the X Factor’, because what the hell else is she gonna do. (thr)

THORS END CREDITS – had the fourth clip building up to next summers ‘the Avengers’, (the first 3 from ‘Iron Man’, ‘Iron Man 2′ and ‘the Incredible Hulk’ are above and here) but what does it mean? For one it means I was trapped in the center of the row for the entire credits because the nerds on either side of me wouldn’t move. (ew)

L.A. REID – has reportedly been meaner than Simon Cowell during the early judging on ‘the X Factor’. I’m sure they’ll fix that in post though so all the singers on the show are good and no one get’s made fun of. Fox certainly doesn’t want a show like that. (thr)

THOR – won the weekend box office with a 66 million dollar debut ($242M worldwide), beating ‘Fast Five’ ($32.5M) and the debuts for ‘Jumping the Broom’ ($13.7M) and ‘Something Borrowed’ ($13.1M), which were set up to be an alternative so girls could emasculate their boyfriend. (deadline)

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