Paula Abdul is clean - Despite all evidence to the contrary, Paula Abdul is once again denying that she has ever been drunk. She tells Us magazine this week, “"I've never been drunk. I have never done recreational drugs. Just look at my 20-year career. Tell me someone who is into partying and or doing drugs that could have done that." Umm, do you mean your career of sitting in a chair and clapping? Wow, you got me, I can't think of one. Touche.
Heather Mills is optimistic - Paul McCartney’s soon-to-be ex-wife is expected to be a contestant on the fourth season of Dancing with the Stars. This despite the fact that’s she’s not a star and was hit by a police motorcycle in 1993, necessitating the amputation of her left leg below the knee and forcing her to wear a prosthetic device. Let the “Bunny-Hop with the Stars” jokes begin.
Howard Stern is engaged - Howard Stern announced on his show today that he has proposed his longtime girlfriend, model Beth Ostrosky. Beth was pretty much the first girl he dated after divorcing his wife Allison, whom he was married to for 22 years. Stern, 53, proposed to Ostrosky, 34, Tuesday night with a 5.2 carat diamond ring. Stern told her, “I love you. You're everything to me. This is so gay … I'm asking you to spend the rest of your life with me." Oh, the excitement.
Courtney Love tells Us magazine that producers from American Idol have asked if she would be interested in sitting as a judge on the show. Love did not say if the offer was to judge for one episode or to permanently replace the embattled Paula Abdul, but Us quotes a source as saying the offer was to replace Paula. This is not the first time reports have surfaced about Abdul being fired after embarrassing public displays in which she may have been drunk or high or both. Last April reports surfaced that both Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears were individually contacted about immediately replacing Abdul for the final month of last seasons run. Love says:
"(The executive producer) called. He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird but brilliant."
Jesus, what is this a boat show, how about bringing in someone whose been relevant in the past 10 years. And, oh by the way, there may be some holes in any plan that involves getting rid of the shows alcoholic by hiring Courtney Love. If anything Abdul should interpret this as she’s not getting drunk enough. Is this a threat or a challenge.
Paula Abdul appeared before a group of TV critics Saturday and once again denied that she was drunk or high during the interviews last week with affiliates. On the video (above) Abdul is clearly disoriented and often incoherent, for which she blames technical difficulties, saying that a technological glitch left her speaking on camera to one station while getting audio in her earpiece from another. Abdul says:
"I've never been drunk in my life. I don't do recreational drugs … I've been in this business 20 years (and) never had to weather the storm of publicity, controversy. It's this show. … I love it, but it's often daunting."
Uhh, this bitch better pray she was drunk. Because normal people don't act like this. If she wasn't drunk, than she needs a CAT scan immediately to find the grapefruit sized tumor in her brain pressing up against whatever it its that normally stops people from insane physic rambling and kicking at demons.
American Idol really is 900 times better when Paula is clearly drunk off her ass, like here in this clip from a Seattle TV station, where it's all she can do to not fall out of her chair as she rambles incoherently and makes goofy faces. Seems like a pretty good job. Getting drunk and going on TV, that is. I wish I could do that, instead of spending my days in the lab, answering questions the scientific community has about wormholes and the fabric of time and space. I broke through one time but still had to watch helplessly as President Lincoln was assassinated. But then I introduced Bob Saget to Charlemagne and used rock-n-roll and my knowledge of football to end the 100 Years War, so that was pretty cool. I guess.
Was there a damn gas leak at the Billboard Awards last night? Everyone there was fucked up. Paula Abdul came out with those dudes from the College Gameday commercials and was completely trashed. They came out arm in arm, probably to hold her up. You really get the feeling that if they let go of her, she would have hit the floor like she just fell out of a plane. This chick is a disaster. Why does Idol put up with her? She was ugly even when she was hot. Honest to god, I’d rather have sex with a roaring fire.
