Paulina Gretzky Is the New Face of Golf

By Lex April 17, 2014 @ 10:31 AM

Paulina Gretzky Chesty In The May 2014 Issue Of Golf Digest
People who take golf super seriously are expressing concern over Paulina Gretzky raking in the cover of Golf Digest magazine. It’s supposed to be a serious periodical spanning the world of golf. People who subscribe believe that golf is a sport, as opposed to a game played largely by fat men in tan slacks. Paulina Gretzky doesn’t play the game. She’s just pretty fucking hot and getting married to a dude who does. A gaggle of talented lesbian pro golfers are wondering why they can’t earn a cover. People who follow magazines get pretty fucking sensitive about their covers. Vogue readers were pissed when Kim Kardashian shat herself onto the cover of their fashion bible. Readers were irate when the surviving Boston marathon bomber was shown looking supercool on the cover of Rolling Stone. And some impulsive folks start fires in the streets when they see black people on any cover. The magazines I get mostly feature good looking girls. I canceled my subscription to Maxim when Miley earned their sexiest girl in the universe spot. I stand on some principle. I don’t feel the rage over Paulina Gretzky and her tits being the face of Golf Digest. If she took off her top and pleasured herself with a putter, I’d probably get a three year subscription.

Photo Credit: Golf Digest

Paulina Gretzky Isn’t Half Bad Looking

By Lex January 07, 2014 @ 1:37 PM

Paulina Gretzky Strips Down To A Yellow Bikini In Hawaii
I’m getting kind of misty here. It seems like just yesterday I was masturbating to Paulina’s mom. Now, here I am imagining the daughter. Just like her mom, Paulina isn’t waiting around to nab a professional athlete to marry. It’s like a running back jumping on the biggest guaranteed contract dollars knowing those knees won’t hold out forever. Lock it down when everybody wants you and you won’t be working as an Indian reservation casino greeter someday. It’ll be a few years before her fiancé Dustin Johnson completely understands why a guy like Tiger would bang any and all women other than his hot blond wife. But a fun few years.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Paulina Gretzky In Maxim and On Fire

By Lex November 08, 2013 @ 2:38 PM

Paulina Gretzky's Hot Instagram Photos
We can’t actually share any Maxim photos, it’s a copyright violation of their industrial use of Photoshopping or something like that. But suffice it to say Wayne Gretzky’s hot daughter made the cover of the struggling men’s magazine. In the same week, she also lit her sweater on fire at a bar by accident. I know what you’re thinking, and don’t worry, her boobs are okay. The very next day Paulina was back at work not doing the job she will never have.

Here’s a bunch of photos of Paulina showing off on Instagram. Obviously, they have nothing on glossy, over-manufactured and heavily touched up photos, but deal with it.

Photo Credit: Paulina Gretzky/Instagram

Paulina Gretsky Is Engaged

By Lex August 19, 2013 @ 4:40 PM

Paulina Gretzky Bikini Twitter Photos
It came down to the dude who works the afternoon shift at Jiffy Lube and top ranked professional golfer Dustin Johnson. Wayne Gretzky’s daughter chose the professional golfer to let experience up to eighteen months of marital bliss before the cheating, vitriol, and drinking begin. Dustin Tweeted ‘She said yes!!’ over the weekend with a picture of the ring to confirm the couples engagement and the fact that he’d now become a total pussywhipped mope.

Photo Credit: Paulina Gretsky/Twitter

Paulina Gretzky In A Bikini

By Lex June 27, 2013 @ 12:52 PM

Paulina Gretzky In A Bikini At The Beach Vacationing In Barbados
Big time athletes usually first have that hometown wife when coming up. The one who stood by them through their rough years in junior sports leagues, nursed their young bruised egos, let them get into their pants when they needed a lift, cleaned their dirty jerseys when their moms stopped caring to do so. Then the players get their first big fat contract and the previously locked vault of hot model women opens up to them and the hometown girl gets the screw job. I really have no advice for these ladies other than the tried and true lessons taught in an Officer and a Gentleman. Try to get pregnant if you can.

Here’s Paulina Gretzky in a bikini in Barbados. She’s got a monkey on her shoulder which is the international sign that her vacation is much better than yours.

Photo Credit: Splash

Paulina Gretzky Makes The Masters Easier To Watch

By Travis April 11, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

The 2013 Masters Tournament begins today, which means that it’s time for people to start talking about Tiger Woods like he’s the world’s greatest athlete while his ex-wife, Elin Nordegren, has sex with her 53-year old billionaire boyfriend on top of their gigantic pile of money. But the actual, important story at this year’s Masters Tournament is whether or not Dustin Johnson will miss the cut on purpose so he can spend the rest of the weekend playing hide the putter with his girlfriend Paulina Gretzky.

The daughter of NHL legend Wayne Gretzky, Paulina has been dating Dustin for several months, ever since she decided that she needed a break from drinking Four Loko out of the Stanley Cup with hockey players. Yesterday, Paulina wandered around Augusta, wearing a very tight t-shirt, and it’s almost criminal that the grounds crew didn’t turn on every sprinkler around her.

(Photo Credits: Getty)