Paulina Gretzky Gets Juicy

Paulina Gretzky is as close to being a theoretical ten as is humanly possible. Like Icarus, that's flying too close to the sun. You don't want to date these chicks. They've never paid for anything once. In fact they consider you lucky to be buying them shit. Gretzky appears to be at least mildly interested in supporting herself as she's shilling some sort of disgusting juice product which looks so vile you wouldn't...

read more
Paulina Gretzky Future Perfect

Paulina Gretzky pretended to post a bikini picture of her post pregnancy body completely innocuously, though obviously it was an attempt to body shame millions of women who reward themselves with cheesecake bites. Gretzky looks good. Almost like a woman who has spent the six months since childbirth doing little more than drinking pressed juice and visiting day spas where ladies with club feet gently buff her labiawith...

read more
Wayne Gretzky Tells Dustin Johnson To Stop Fucking Around

It's refreshing in these times of Sodom to see a dad unapologetically demanding his future son-in-law live up to certain levels of decorum. If you want to marry my ass-Instagramming daughter, you will not be fucking other men's wives, snorting coke, or drinking daily before 2pm. That's a high price as Wayne Gretzky just redlined Dustin Johnson's top three hobbies. Addicts tend to be pragmatic though and Dustin doesn't...

read more
Paulina Gretzky Is the New Face of Golf

People who take golf super seriously are expressing concern over Paulina Gretzky raking in the cover of Golf Digest magazine. It's supposed to be a serious periodical spanning the world of golf. People who subscribe believe that golf is a sport, as opposed to a game played largely by fat men in tan slacks. Paulina Gretzky doesn't play the game. She's just pretty fucking hot and getting married to a dude who does. A...

read more
Paulina Gretzky Isn't Half Bad Looking

I'm getting kind of misty here. It seems like just yesterday I was masturbating to Paulina's mom. Now, here I am imagining the daughter. Just like her mom, Paulina isn't waiting around to nab a professional athlete to marry. It's like a running back jumping on the biggest guaranteed contract dollars knowing those knees won't hold out forever. Lock it down when everybody wants you and you won't be working as an Indian...

read more
Paulina Gretzky In Maxim and On Fire

We can't actually share any Maxim photos, it's a copyright violation of their industrial use of Photoshopping or something like that. But suffice it to say Wayne Gretzky's hot daughter made the cover of the struggling men's magazine. In the same week, she also lit her sweater on fire at a bar by accident. I know what you're thinking, and don't worry, her boobs are okay. The very next day Paulina was back at work not...

read more
Paulina Gretsky Is Engaged

It came down to the dude who works the afternoon shift at Jiffy Lube and top ranked professional golfer Dustin Johnson. Wayne Gretzky's daughter chose the professional golfer to let experience up to eighteen months of marital bliss before the cheating, vitriol, and drinking begin. Dustin Tweeted 'She said yes!!' over the weekend with a picture of the ring to confirm the couples engagement and the fact that he'd now...

read more
Paulina Gretzky In A Bikini

Big time athletes usually first have that hometown wife when coming up. The one who stood by them through their rough years in junior sports leagues, nursed their young bruised egos, let them get into their pants when they needed a lift, cleaned their dirty jerseys when their moms stopped caring to do so. Then the players get their first big fat contract and the previously locked vault of hot model women opens up to...

read more
Paulina Gretzky Makes The Masters Easier To Watch

The 2013 Masters Tournament begins today, which means that it's time for people to start talking about Tiger Woods like he's the world's greatest athlete while his ex-wife, Elin Nordegren, has sex with her 53-year old billionaire boyfriend on top of their gigantic pile of money. But the actual, important story at this year's Masters Tournament is whether or not Dustin Johnson will miss the cut on purpose so he can...

read more
Paulina Gretzky Is Good Luck

Like most young, attractive girls these days, Paulina Gretzky is famous because she's very attractive and her father is extremely wealthy. Her dad, of course, is NHL legend Wayne Gretzky, and the Great One is so proud of what his daughter is doing with his name that he has already asked her once to shut down her Twitter account. The reason? Because she posts pictures of herself being awesome, mostly in bathing suits....

read more