BRITNEY BRITNEY BRITNEY! - not surprisingly, Kevin Federlines lawyer is annoyed that he was stood up by Britney Spears yesterday for the fourth time while trying to do a deposition. The lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, will go to court today to ask that Britney be held accountable. He won't seek contempt charges, even though he could, but will ask that Britney not receive any more special treatment or benefit of the doubt. Britney will counter by asking for both hot and mild sauce. Touche!  (that's part of her new video. It sucks.  Oh, I know, I was surprised too.)

ASHLEE SIMPSON IS POISON - The New York Daily News says, "Members of Fall Out Boy, who failed to get a Grammy nomination last week, are said to be blaming Pete Wentz's relationship with Ashlee Simpson. 'Grammy voters are fed up with Ashlee after she was caught lip-synching,’ a pal tells OK! mag. ‘Her relationship with Pete has definitely affected public opinion of the band. The guys in FOB are furious — they think everything Ashlee touches is poison, and they really want her to stop touching Pete!' "  I find it hard to believe that a source said, "and they really want her to stop touching Pete".  Unless their source was a gay cartoon character. 

BASTARDS - Variety says that four of the major late night talk show hosts, namely David Letterman, Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien and Craig Ferguson, are planning to return to the air by January 7th, regardless of whether or not the Writers Guild is still on strike. 

Latenight insiders, however, believe Leno and O'Brien are most likely to return in early January, no matter what Letterman decides. NBC has to be concerned about the plunging ratings for both shows, which in recent weeks have lost nearly half their audience.
ABC's Jimmy Kimmel has actually done OK in repeats, a reflection of the show's audience growth in the past year and a sign regular Leno and Letterman viewers may be checking out the "new" guy. Getting a read on his intentions has been more difficult, though some latenight observers believe he may also be preparing to go back soon.

Remember the Stingy and Battery show on the Simpsons?  Where Krusty had to improvise his entire show and he was in an old civil defense shed and all he had was a scorpion and a leaky battery?  That's pretty much what these shows will look like with no writers.  It will just be Ellen interpreting her cats dreams for 60 minutes, occasionally interrupted by boring monotonous rambling, which will also be about cats.