ORLANDO BLOOM AND MIRANDA KERR - had a boy. And I bet that handsome bastard has already gotten more pussy than I have this year. (us)
LINDSAY LOHAN - has been handed a $135,000 Range Rover Onyx, to borrow “for an undisclosed length of time”, by a Beverly Hills dealer. The plan of course is for people to see Lindsay driving the car and then go see them and say, “I want one of those cars like the one Lindsay wrecked.” (radar)
PETRA NEMCOVA - is engaged, 6 years after her last fiance died in the 2004 Thailand tsunami. I’m sure that wasn’t her fault, but I would still go somewhere like Omaha for a honeymoon. They have a lovely zoo. (daily mail)
JANE KRAKOWSKI - is pregnant. Ewwww. Everything about this story is gross. (people)
JWOWW - says she was under anesthesia when her ex took naked pictures of her. Ahhh yes, the old twilight trick. Another good one is to make them think you’ve taken a loved one as a hostage. (hollywood life)
RUBINA ALI - police in India have found no evidence that her father tried to sell the “Slumdog Millionaire” actress for $400,000. Wait I thought it was 300,000? See, this is why you always bring the coupon when buying Indian kids. (source = the AP)
BRITNEY SPEARS - Ryan Seacrest says a “reliable source” tells him that Britney Spears is pregnant again. But her kids seem okay so whateverl. It’s the Paris Hilton rumors that worry me. Obviously it’s not cool to wish a miscarriage on anyone, because wishing isn’t gonna accomplish anything. The way to do it is to punch her in the stomach as hard as you can. (source = kiss fm)
PETRA NEMCOVA - I’ve always thought this chick was sorta ugly, so taking all of her clothes off for the Italian magazine "D" was a cunning move to gain my favor. My response must be measured with the greatest of care. She and I are like two masters, discovering our opponents weakness in a well played game of chess.
Petra Nemcova can actually be somewhat attractive, as long as you look at someone else and pretend that other person is Petra Nemcova. Or if she wears a dress that barely covers her boobs. Don’t get me wrong, I think chipmunks are as cute as the next little girl does, but I can count on one hand all the times I’ve had sexual fantasies about them. Wait, a hand has 12 fingers on it, right? Oh well then never mind.
(picture source = splash news online)
Today is boring, and that can lead to only one thing : HARDCORE NUDITY! In this case, new pictures from an event first mentioned on here over a year ago (link), namely ugly supermodel Petra Nemcova topless except for paint at some weirdos fashion show. Below are the new pics, the ones of her actually getting painted. Normally she looks like hell, but here she looks fantastic. And not just because she's naked. Her face looks hot too. Normally her puffy cheeks creep me out. She always looks like she just got back from the dentist. She looks like if a chipmunk mated with another chipmunk, but then some stuff happened - maybe magic - and the baby chipmunk somehow became a girl. But here, hey, look, tits!
(bigger copy of the banner pic here)
If you ever wanted to see a flat chested chipmunks boob almost fall out of her shirt, the good news is today is your lucky day, the bad news is you're a fucking weirdo. Go here and here. Pervert.
Such a cruel irony that gay dudes run the fashion industry and therefore the fashion models, yet have no idea what to do with them once they're naked. Who the hell is this for? Navajos? You want a hot fashion show, you should let high school jocks and the staff at GameSpot run one. Those are the dudes who know how a girl should dress. All Laura Croft and cheerleaders and Laura Croft as a cheerleader. Repetitive? You bet, but the fashion dudes had their chance, and they took the model and made her look like the dollar. I'm not a Free Mason, I'm trying to jack off, not crack the code to find Nazi gold.
