Philip Seymour Hoffman Played Unhealthy Well

By Matt July 24, 2014 @ 12:12 PM


Philip Seymour Hoffman’s character in his final leading role is a troubled alcoholic. Anton Corbijn directed Hoffman in A Most Wanted Man and said Hoffman was perfect for the part:

“He channeled part of the state he was in at the time into that character. They were more closely linked than, say, the character he played in ‘The Master’… It will always be harder to differentiate in this role between how people perceived him to be as a person and what he gave us on the film.”

This is what makes Hoffman one of the greatest actors of our generation. If you have a debilitating drug addiction, choose a film that allows you to stumble into work with pit stains and be heaped with critical praise for you performance. If you have picked up a two pack a day habit make sure your character smokes constantly. If he does not, have your agent get it written in. Hoffman never needed to get creepy skinny like Jonah Hill so he could play lame dudes with giant heads. Hoffman picked characters with the verge of death pallor. His honesty in self-reflection is what I will miss most.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Drake Apologizes For Being A Whiny Bitch

By Michael February 14, 2014 @ 2:25 PM

Drake apologized for whining that he lost the most recent Rolling Stone cover to the late Philip Seymour Hoffman. We told you about Drake’s temper tantrum over losing the music magazine cover at the last minute. Drake asked to be forgiven while continuing to whine in a note full of spelling and grammatical errors. Apparently, they didn’t teach Jimmy how to write so well at Degrassi:

“I completely support and agree with Rolling Stone replacing me on the cover with the legendary Phillip [sic] Seymour Hoffman. He is one of the most incredible actors of our time and a man that deserves to be immortalized by this publication. My frustration stemmed from the way it was executed. The circumstances at hand are completely justifiable (on the magazines [sic] behalf), but I was not able to salvage my story or my photos and that was devastating. They ran the issue without giving me a choice to be in it or not.”

Yeah, because magazines regularly consult the showpiece celebrities they interview about their editorial decisions.Right now the folks at Time Life are talking to Kate Upton’s tits about how their swimsuit edition should be laid out. Grow up, Jimmy. Try to imagine it’s enough that you’re the greatest selling Canadian Black Jewish rapper of all time. The rewards will follow from your humility.

Philip Seymour Hoffman Killed By Scientology

By Lex February 07, 2014 @ 3:44 PM

According to reports, Philip Seymour Hoffman fell off the decades long sobriety wagon with just one single drink at the wrap party for The Master, where he played the L. Ron Hubbard like character of the film that was basically a lawsuit proof version of how Scientology got started. Lots of drinking and sex apparently. Hoffman’s single cocktail turned into several more, which turned into a real bender. While most people who drink one too many end up sleeping with a girl form the bar with oddly spaced teeth, Hoffman’s several sheets to the wind led to a heroin overdose in a Manhattan apartment. I think he made five more movies though in the interim.

Here’s pictures of people crying going to Hoffman’s funeral. It’s a good reminder to kids not to use drugs that can kill you. Stick to the shit that only makes you fat and listless and you’ll live long enough that everybody will hate you by the time you die.

Meet Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Alleged Drug Connects

By Lex February 05, 2014 @ 2:05 PM

Juliana Luchkiw And Max Rosenbloom Pose For A Photo On Instagram
I guess the rave DJ business isn’t what it used to be, so privileged kid stoner Max Rosenblum and his drama student girlfriend Juliana Luchkiw turned to supplying drugs to fat famous actors hellbent on leaving this planet. Not exactly New Jack City. Still, the police were determined to arrest somebody with some kind of heroin this week after Philip Seymour Hoffman went belly an syringe up in his Manhattan apartment. It’s not clear whether this idiot couple and a couple of other bigger drug dealers arrested in their apartment building were actually Hoffman’s suppliers. Still, that ought to be enough of a pro-forma bust to let the Mayor declare victory in the drug war and get back toJumble puzzles with his lesbian wife. Return to your juice bars. Gotham is safe once more.

Photo Credit: Juliana Luchkiw/Instagram

NYPD Suddenly Takes Drugs Very Seriously

By Travis February 05, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

Last night, New York police reportedly arrested four people in connection with actor Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death, because while heroin is a serious national problem that sends hundreds of people to the ER each day and tens of thousands to their graves each year, we’ll be damned if we’re going to let it take our famous people from us. According to TMZ, three men and one woman were arrested after a source spilled the ecstasy beans on Hoffman’s dealer, who apparently had a reputation for selling people “cheap shit heroin” when his premium supply would run out. Hoffman allegedly bought “bundles of heroin” from his dealer twice a week, which would have made it more than likely that he’d receive the cheap shit and wind up in the situation he’s currently in. So if you’re the parent or loved one of someone who died from a heroin overdose, and you’ve been wondering what it takes for the police to go after the people pushing this poison, the answer is at least one Oscar.

Photo Credit:

Philip Seymour Hoffman Had a Lousy Super Bowl Sunday

By Lex February 02, 2014 @ 10:22 PM

It’s hard to imagine anybody had a worse Sunday than the Denver Broncos, but Philip Seymour Hoffman probably did. He definitely won’t be getting another shot at a ring. Hoffman’s soul hit its heroin limit and took flight in a New York City apartment early Sunday morning. Hoffman fell off the drug wagon this past year after a nearly two decade run of being fat and sober and pretty fucking talented. Which just goes to show that sticking a needle in your arm full of morphine acetylated in a Jalisco garage is still riskier than playing gin rummy with your grandma.

Naturally, everybody in Hollywood that could muster a LinkedIn 6th degree connection or better with Hoffman took to the social media airwaves.

Thanks, Samwise, that puts Hoffman’s death in perspective. Got any succor in that eulogy bag for the Broncos fans?