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Pia Mia Perez Understands the Program

Grandma used to warn the young'uns not to dress showy or boys would think you were that kind of girl. Now archetypalprostitute garb will get you where you need to go. It's not sex work if you pretend you're a musical artist. How's that album with Kanye coming along? The jet for Dubai leaves at eight. Don't change. Photo Credit: FameFlynetread more

Pia Mia Perez Opens Up to Uncle Terry

It's unclear whether Uncle Terry slaps these girls with his cock before or after the shoot. Maybe one for good luck prior, then a countdown of raw penis slaps across the chops depending on how well the shoot went and if they are known to have parents that give a damn. This Pia Mia Perez chick must have taken quite a thumping. Her parents quit caring they day she turned fourteen and they put her underaged tit job on...read more

Kylie Jenner Skin Tight Wing Girl

Kris Jenner brought out her sex mannequin daughter and her friend from Guam trying to be an immigrated harder whore to remind everybody that her posse rolls hard, big, and will do anal for Bitcoin. Kris Jenner was being celebrated for her new cover of Haute Living magazine, which is apparently a magazine in English published somewhere. Jenner is the opposite of that mom who fights with her teen daughter over dressing...read more

Kendall Jenner, Hailey Baldwin And Pia Mia Perez in Bikinis in Mexico

Mexico is sending us their rapists. We're sending them our whores. It makes sense if you studied street economics. Kris Jenner dispatched Kendall Jenner along with Hailey Baldwin and Pia Mia Perez down to Mexico to chaperone her barely legal daughter being fucked on the cliffs of Acapulco by her rapper boyfriend and a dudes selling naranjas on the freeway offramps. Juice never tasted as sweet as when it's payment for...read more

Kylie Jenner and Pia Mia Perez Spandex Truants

Kylie Jenner's 957th unexcused absence from school was a day well spent. The Jenner daughter sorted out her feelings on chemtrails and dad's nationally televised castration by grabbing brothel locker partner Pia Mia Perez and rebooting Adrian Lyne's Foxes along Rodeo Drive. If nobody sees your camel toe, do you really exist? I'll leave that to Socrates. Kylie has been forced to shoot down rumors once again this week ...read more

Jenner Girls Try to Maintain Normal

There's a shit ton of stuff you can get done as a teen when high school isn't on the menu. Get Softcore United on the phone tree and coordinate a bare midriff shopping trip. Some day, you'll shopping as a grown woman. This is practice. Sneak into the alley for a cigarette. Tell laid out Nick Nolte if he likes staring at your ass so much, why doesn't he touch it. He won't have any money. Laugh and get to Barney's. It's...read more

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Pia Mia Perez Peaks

When your daughter comes to you with a vivid dream of showing off her tits and hanging with the Jenners and having Kanye as her late night private music mentor, that's not a dream, that's an omen. She may only be twelve, but inspirational quotes don't include phrases like 'wait for your first period'. Time to book one-ways from Guam to Los Angeles to pursue this heavenly mission. You know by third grade if your kid's...read more

Chris Brown's Celebrity Felon Kick Ball Raises Eleven Dollars (VIDEO)

Only mostly everybody at Chris Brown's Kick'N' It for Charity Celebrity Kickball game in Glendale had rap sheets. Chris, DJ Khaled, The Game, and a few other charitable fellows famous for drugs and beating women showed up for a cause nobody could actually name. Paris Hilton's jail house record got her into the match where she showed that one lazy eye and nonchalance is all it takes to not be able to kick a slow moving...read more

Kanye's Teen Project Awaits His Return

Before Jesus told Kanye to go become Kim Kardashian's third husband, Kanye was spending late nights at the studio with Kylie's teen singing friend Pia Mia Perez. Kanye insists the bleached blond YouTube star is going to be the next Rihanna. I think that means she's young and ethnic and her voice takes to computer modulation. Also, she can touch her hair and body a lot and pretend to be filled with emotions, as she...read more

Pia Mia Perez Is Kanye's Achievement Whore

When you think about all the things Kanye has given this world, from his three good songs, to his giant pictures of things, and some wicked bad-ass sneakers, it's hard to imagine he has anything left to give. But like Jesus himself who rose from a tormented death, Kanye is now unleashing his disciples upon the world. Starting with this teen chick from Guam he may or may not be allowing to go down on his Yeezus meat...read more