Breaking: Women Are Still Really Desperate

By Travis July 29, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Poison front man Bret Michaels stopped by Fox and Friends on Friday to play a few songs from his upcoming album, “So This Is What It’s Come To?” as part of a tribute to 9/11 victims and first responders stuck in the 80s. And while that’s not actually the name of his album, Bret should at least consider it, because nothing says, “Walk into the white light” quite like being the host of a TV show about RV makeovers and performing music on Fox and Friends.

But at least one woman in the crowd was overly excited about Bret’s performance, as she threw her bra at the 50-year old, before he signed it and threw it back. Hopefully, Gretchen Carlson found a nice frame for it.

(Photo Credit: Joel Ginsburg/WENN.com)

RIKKI ROCKET IS RUNTED FOR RAPE

By brendon March 28, 2008 @ 5:25 AM

The reason Brett Michaels is on the VH1 show "Rock of Love" is because he was the lead singer for the 80's glam rock band Poison.  No one ever cares about the drummer, so no one made him a show that lines up whores to bang, so in this case he raped someone in Mississippi.   And this isn't really related, but remember that scene in "Evil Dead" where the girl gets raped by a tree.  WTF was that all about.  TMZ says…

(Rocket) was arrested on a rape warrant issued out of Mississippi as he arrived at LAX after getting off a flight from New Zealand, police said.
Rikki Rockett, 46, was arrested Monday at the airport and booked into the Los Angeles County Jail He was held on a strong-arm rape warrant stemming from Neshoba County, Mississippi, and appears to have been released from L.A. County custody, the Sheriff's Web site shows. His status today could not be confirmed.
Details about the warrant were not immediately available.

I think most people would agree that I'm the real victim here, because this forced me to try to find a picture of Rikki Rocket.  I don’t have any of those, so please enjoy "Rape of the Sabine Women", by Schönfeld, which I prefer to the more popular version by Rubens.  My zest for life continues to overcome!