Portia De Rossi Faded On Ellen Vag

By Lex July 15, 2014 @ 6:12 AM


Ellen’s vagina is the psychoactive toad of lesbian Hollywood. It made Anne Heche crazy, well, more crazy. Portia de Rossi is now experiencing the long term effects of having her face directed between her older wife’s pant-suited thighs and told to help mama relax. Portia has started chugging diet wine coolers and screaming to the unsullied house staff that Ellen is controlling and manipulative. She also was ranting about Ellen being ‘too close’ with Sofia Vergara. Ellen suggested that Portia spend a month in a special rehab run by Franciscan nuns with 3D printed carbon fiber rulers. After being threatened with loss of her shoe allowance, Portia agreed a little rubber room time with chamomile tea breaks would be good for her complexion.

New reports now claim that Portia was secretly filming the fights she had with Ellen to show how abusive the day time talk show host was behind closed doors. Portia threatened to release the tapes to the public who would run, not walk to watch thirty-seven hours of chicks in Tevas being emotionally distant and unsupportive. Ellen’s camp, not the same camp where grade school Ellen talked girls into letting her touch their privates, are insisting that the couple are coming along nicely in trying to repair their damaged relationship. I take that to mean Cobra assembled in the solarium to figure out how to load Portia full of Xanax and drive her off of Mulholland in a staged accident.

Photo credit: Splash News

At Ellen’s New Mansion, The Carpets Do Match The Drapes (And You’re Eating Both If You Want to Move In)

By Lex May 24, 2013 @ 12:44 PM

There was this guy in my circle of friends, he used to hang out at the bars, get lucky with the ladies every now and then, until one day up and told everybody he was moving in with some older man. He declared himself gay, packed his few material goods, and moved into this swank palace of a place where he still watches all his sports, drinks his beer, doesn’t seem to work much, and, yeah, once a week or so he probably doinks this guy in the rectum and calls him by some effeminate version of his real name. I’ve read enough Anderson Cooper articles to know that being gay isn’t a choice. But what I also know is that if you’ve got to make a choice, choose somebody with a nice fat bank roll who can support your lifestyle. Like Portia de Rossi. Yeah, she has to snarfle Ellen’s mannish wet spot on occasion to keep the high life rolling, but check out this new $25 million pad Ellen just bought the pair of them in Montecito. We’re all whores, the only question is what do we get in the bargain.


By brendon July 07, 2008 @ 1:24 PM

Portia De Rossi went topless on a yacht in Sardinia, Italy, over the weekend, which is good, but unfortunately her girlfriend Sean Penn Ellen DeGeneres was there too, and she was tanning with her legs spread open and her feet up in the air.  It’s a move she calls, Fuck You Clouds.

(picture source = inf daily)


By brendon May 16, 2008 @ 6:17 AM

The California Supreme Court overturned Prop 22 yesterday – which in 2000 won with 61 percent of the vote to ban California from recognizing same sex marriages – so now same sex couples are racing to get married.  And yesterday on her stupid show, Ellen DeGeneres announced plans to marry Portia de Rossi, her girlfriend for the past 4 years.  People magazine says…

DeGeneres made the announcement Thursday, according to the Associated Press and TMZ (which first reported the story). The news came hot on the heels of a judicial ruling that struck down California's laws against gay marriage.
In what's sure to be a controversial decision, the California's Supreme Court ruled that people have a fundamental "right to marry" the partner of their choosing – therefore the previous ban on gay marriage was ruled unconstitutional.
De Rossi, 35, was reportedly in the studio when DeGeneres – who just celebrated her 50th birthday – made the announcement before a cheering audience. (The episode is scheduled to air Friday.)

Ellen DeGeneres is disgusting to look at and a complete bitch so I'm against anything that may bring her happiness. On a scale of 1 to 10, I would punch Ellen in the face a good hard 9.