Obama Had All The Hilarious Jokes (VIDEO)

On Saturday, Joel McHale hosted the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner, which is the one night of the year that President Obama gets to unwind a little and make fun of the many, many, many, manymanymany people who give him shit on a daily basis with jokes that a lot of people don't think are funny. Maybe the best or worst joke, depending on how seriously you take this crap, came at John Boehner's...

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Friday Afternoon Headlines

ALICIA KEYS - will sing the National Anthem at Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans on February 3rd. Or 4th, or 5th, or whenever it is that Saints fans run out of beer bottles to throw at Roger Goodell and they can start the game. (e!) AMERICAN IDOL - returned Wednesday and had it's lowest ratings ever for a season premiere, down 19 percent from last year, which itself was down 24 percent from the year before. Fox has had...

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Jon Lovitz called President Obama a "fucking asshole"

Former "Saturday Night Live" star Jon Lovitz called President Obama "a fucking asshole" among other things during a podcast with Kevin Smith, because of a tax system where 10 percent of the population pays 70 percent of the income tax (and 1 percent pays almost 40), yet are still told it's not enough and that they don't pay thier "fair share." "This whole thing with Obama saying the rich don't pay their taxes is...

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George Clooney is raising $6,000,000 for Obama

ET says George Clooney will host a fundraiser on May 10 at his home in LA for 150 guests, or however many can afford the tickets which cost $40,000 a piece. All proceeds will go to President Obama's re-election fund. There's no word yet on what will go on at this event to make a few hours worth what many people make in a year, but it better involve the phrases "Stacy Keibler" and "cum soaked".

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David Cross did coke next to the President

‘Arrested Development' and 'Mr. Show' star David Cross tells the March issue of Playboy that he did a small amount of cocaine at the 2009 White House Correspondents' Dinner. In other words, in the same room as President Barack Obama and the Secret Service. "It was a tiny granule of coke that I put on my wrist and said, 'Watch this. I need a witness.' And then I ducked under the table and did it," Cross said. "It...

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bin Laden is photogenic

On Thursday, Time magazine will run a cover showing Osama bin Laden stamped with a red X, because yesterday SEAL Team 6 kicked in the door of his bedroom and shot him in his fucking face. It's similar to the covers announcing the death of Adolf Hitler in 1945, Saddam Hussein in 2003, and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in 2006. And if you think that picture is delightful, you'll love the death photo Drudge says is on the way,...

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morning headlines

PRESIDENT OBAMA – the President has formally apologized for a joke he made on “the Tonight Show” last night (video), when he compared his bowling to “the Special Olympics or something.” Although in his apology he said, “at least you guys play sports instead of faggin off in some musical or something”. How does that help? (source = abc news)MADONNA – some people say Madonna is a mean bitch. You might call her boyfriend...

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