The Jig Is Finally Up With Prince William’s Dome

January 18, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

It’s been thirty-five-years in the making, but Prince William has now, for the first time, officially buzzed his head, and the Internet is eating up every failed follicle on his bald dome. If The Crown has taught me anything it’s that the Royal Family doesn’t have a hell of a lot going on, and randomly that Matt […]

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Brits Pissed At Meghan Markle’s Skank Dress In Olan Mills Engagement Portraits

December 22, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

If watching The Crown has taught us anything it’s that Matt Smith is as ugly as damn sin and that the success of the Royal Family hinges on their image as the standard of class, elegance, and timelessness. And since nothing is classier or more elegant or more timeless than a D-list actress best known for her role on a USA Network original series, Brits were thrilled about Prince Harry’s decision to marry old actress Meghan Markle. Now they’re even more thrilled that Markle wore a see-through slut Kohl’s prom gown for the official engagement portraits released on Twitter by Kensington Palace. That last one was sarcasm. Actually so was the thing before that. Markle is garbage. 

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America Not Buying This Royal Wedding Hype

November 29, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Prince Harry isn’t really a Prince. He’s sixth in line to the idiotic throne of a country that is equal parts stuck in the past and mired in Islamist PC surrender.

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Barbados Needs a Better Tourism Board (VIDEO)

December 2, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Barbados is celebrating its 50th year of Independence from British colonial rule. That’s the day they finally told the English to leave, then promptly created four-color travel brochures reminding them how much they secretly liked fucking black chicks.

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Prince Harry Rises To His Chick’s Defense

November 8, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Prince Harry became the five-thousandth famous person in history to deliver a pointless speech to the media about leaving his family and girlfriend alone. In particular, Harry seems rather miffed by sexist, racist, and overly personal Internet article comments about Meghan Markle. He went straight after social media trolls. So, good luck with that. Quit Twitter?

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Prince Harry Hugging Animals in Africa

December 4, 2015 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Prince Harry has been in Africa continuing his service to the planet by way of a series of highly photographed deployments into war torn nations, third world slums, and now endangered species nursing in Africa. Individually, each of his deeds are sincere. Collectively, he’s a politician kissing newsworthy babies and hoping nobody asks why he and […]

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Meet The 12 Biggest Idiots In America (VIDEO)

May 21, 2014 | video | editor| 0 Comments

Not since the Fox reality dating series Joe Millionaire has something so fucking stupid made its way onto network television (probably an exaggeration), but I Wanna Marry Harry is finally here to make the rest of the world believe that Americans are as dumb as they think we are. On this new series, 12 female […]

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Poor Prince Harry, Back To Sleeping With Any Woman He Wants

April 30, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Everyone in England had thought that 29-year old Prince Harry had finally found love after dating Cressida Bonas for almost two whole years, after a string of rumored flings and girlfriends before her. Sad news for fans of symbolic royalty today, though, as the Daily Mail confirmed that the couple has indeed split, while denying […]

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The Downside of Being Harry

May 15, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It goes without saying that being born Prince Harry is a pretty sweet roll of the cosmic dice. You get cars and girls and money just for emerging out of the right vagina. It’s not a bad gig. But, at times, it comes with its downsides. Like having to hang with lap-banded Chris Christie on […]

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Taylor Swift Is Out Of Her Mind

April 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

According to the Sun’s super-secret sources, singer Taylor Swift is trying to snag an invite to one of Prince Harry‘s parties when he makes his potentially-nude return to the U.S. in May. One of Harry’s parties will take place in Washington DC around the same time as Swift’s two shows at the Verizon Center, so […]

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