Prince Search Warrant Reveals Pills Everywhere

April 17, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The Minnesota police have released the search warrant issued after Prince’s death on April 21st, 2016. His passing is still considered to be an accidental overdose of the painkiller Fentanyl. The singer’s Paisley Park home was found to contain enough opioids in different shapes and sizes to take down a herd of charging Adeles.

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Gene Simmons Calls Dead Prince a Pussy

May 11, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Gene Simmons consumes media attention as Rebel Wilson to chocolate covered name anything. The former KISS guitarist and founding member took a pot shot at dead Prince calling him pathetic for presumably croaking in his 50’s from a Percocet overdose.

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Mariah Carey Purple Mountains Majesty

April 29, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Mariah Carey’s lip-synch and girdle tour has reached South Africa. It’s spreading in reverse order of your more common pandemics. The singer is making waves for demanding that the scenic backdrop for her concert performance in Cape Town be lit up in purple to honor Prince and his prescription painkiller overdose.

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Mariah Carey One of Prince’s Many Dear Friends

April 22, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Genius, legend, inspiration, friend. The world will miss you. I’ll never get over it. For a recluse, Prince had a shitload of really dear friends. All torn to piece pieces and unable to form sentences. If you’ve ever been auto-tuned to a Dr. Luke simplistic bridge, Prince was your brother and best friend. Like Mariah Carey and […]

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Prince Is Dead Too

April 21, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The artist known as Prince is dead. Early reports are he was suffering from flu like symptom which means The AIDS or another immune deficiency complication because people in their 50’s in Minnesota don’t die from the flu. Not in the Spring. Unlike almost every single pop music star ever, Prince was a supremely talented […]

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Prince Gets Meta On His New Album Cover

August 21, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Prince’s new album cover for “Breakfast Can Wait” isn’t a picture of the real prince, it’s Dave Chappelle. The picture is a screengrab from a classic sketch on Chappelle Show in which Charlie Murphy tells the tale of playing basketball with Prince…and losing. Then Prince made them pancakes. This was back before Chappelle went fucking […]

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