R. Kelly's Underaged Girlfriend Breaks Her NDA

What's the world coming to when a pedophile's hush money and Non-Disclosure Agreements are no longer honored?  read more

R. Kelly Sex Brigade and Ariel Winter Squeezings on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #94

On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we imagine how shitty the R. Kelly Sex Cult will look on your future job applications, consider how far Disney can bend over for multiculturalists, wind down the Mattress Girl story with zero lessons learned, discuss the cynical... read more

R. Kelly Sex Cult Captive Releases Proof of Life (VIDEO)

A cult's not official until the perfectly coiffed milkmaids release videos insisting they're okay and happy at the compound.  read more

The R. Kelly Sex Cult Sounds Amazing

R. Kelly's lawyer would like you to know that he's not currently operating a sex cult with a half-dozen young women under his spell in Chicago and Atlanta condos. Though if he were operating such a sex cult, the women would all be of legal age. There's nothing illegal... read more

R. Kelly Sued by Husband of a Woman He Gave Chlamydia

The spectrum of complaints for which R. Kelly could be sued or arrested is infinite. There's not an actionable offense you could assign to Kelly that would draw shock.  read more

R Kelly Is Sensitive To Rape Questions And Shit Around The Web

Musical artist and pounder of young flesh R Kelly got pissed off during a live interview with the Huffington Post and stormed off. He became angry when the interviewer asked him about his multiple underaged sexual assault charges. Everybody has their buttons. Though not... read more

Music Protests R Kelly

Two Ohio based bands have dropped out of The Fashion Meets Music Festival because one of the Festival headliners is underaged girl loving R Kelly. Saintseneca, a band as preachy as their new aged name, thought better than to share billing with Kelly: "We feel it is an... read more

R. Kelly's Daughter Is Now His Son

You can't blame a thirteen year old girl for wanting to become a boy when you're hanging around R. Kelly. Not that R. Kelly has ever been accused of incest. It's really the one sex crime standard obviously missing from his best of album. A couple weeks ago Kelly's... read more

Lady Gaga Distancing Herself from R. Kelly

Maybe it wasn't the best idea for a woman to launch a bawdy sexualized song with a known defiler of underaged girls. Lady Gaga probably didn't give a shit until her new album tanked in sales simultaneous to the uproar over R. Kelly's pissing on pubescent girls came back... read more

R. Kelly Hates On The Haters Who Hate That He Hate Fucks Teens

R. Kelly is once again defending himself against allegations of past sexual misconduct with underaged girls. You know, like when he fucked a couple of teen girls in a sex tape and peed on them. Stuff like that. This is in the wake of the release of his latest album Black... read more

Village Voice Recounts R. Kelly's Glory Days of Raping High School Sophomores

Some people just can't let shit go. It's been fifteen years since R. Kelly kind of allegedly raped hordes of high school girls. And maybe one or three of them tried to off themselves. But it's not like R. Kelly didn't pay them all reasonably well to shut the fuck up. I'm... read more

Lady Gaga Has Fallen And She Can't Get Up

Everybody wants to know why the social outcasts from The Breakfast Club aren't buying Lady Gaga's new album. It's so bad that when I searched Lady Gaga backdoor cucumber BDSM penetration, I got articles about how ARTPOP sucks and how Interscope is going to have to fire a... read more