R. Kelly’s Underaged Girlfriend Breaks Her NDA

August 24, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

What’s the world coming to when a pedophile’s hush money and Non-Disclosure Agreements are no longer honored? 


R. Kelly Sex Brigade and Ariel Winter Squeezings on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #94

July 20, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

On this week’s Last Men on Earth podcast we imagine how shitty the R. Kelly Sex Cult will look on your future job applications, consider how far Disney can bend over for multiculturalists, wind down the Mattress Girl story with zero lessons learned, discuss the cynical cloying nature of the ESPYs, support Ariel Winter like a DD-cup bra, and bust Jimmy Kimmel for being a pussy right in front of Caitlyn Jenner. Fuck if we don’t hit every single important bit of news.


R. Kelly Sex Cult Captive Releases Proof of Life (VIDEO)

July 19, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

A cult’s not official until the perfectly coiffed milkmaids release videos insisting they’re okay and happy at the compound. 


The R. Kelly Sex Cult Sounds Amazing

July 18, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

R. Kelly’s lawyer would like you to know that he’s not currently operating a sex cult with a half-dozen young women under his spell in Chicago and Atlanta condos. Though if he were operating such a sex cult, the women would all be of legal age. There’s nothing illegal about 50 Shades of Grey. Though certainly inane. 


R. Kelly Sued by Husband of a Woman He Gave Chlamydia

April 28, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The spectrum of complaints for which R. Kelly could be sued or arrested is infinite. There’s not an actionable offense you could assign to Kelly that would draw shock. 


R Kelly Is Sensitive To Rape Questions And Shit Around The Web

December 22, 2015 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

Musical artist and pounder of young flesh R Kelly got pissed off during a live interview with the Huffington Post and stormed off. He became angry when the interviewer asked him about his multiple underaged sexual assault charges. Everybody has their buttons. Though not necessarily that button. I don’t see nothin’ wrong with a little bump […]


Music Protests R Kelly

July 29, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Two Ohio based bands have dropped out of The Fashion Meets Music Festival because one of the Festival headliners is underaged girl loving R Kelly. Saintseneca, a band as preachy as their new aged name, thought better than to share billing with Kelly: “We feel it is an affront to all survivors, who are already […]


R. Kelly’s Daughter Is Now His Son

June 26, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You can’t blame a thirteen year old girl for wanting to become a boy when you’re hanging around R. Kelly. Not that R. Kelly has ever been accused of incest. It’s really the one sex crime standard obviously missing from his best of album. A couple weeks ago Kelly’s daughter Jaya announced that she is […]


Lady Gaga Distancing Herself from R. Kelly

January 4, 2014 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea for a woman to launch a bawdy sexualized song with a known defiler of underaged girls. Lady Gaga probably didn’t give a shit until her new album tanked in sales simultaneous to the uproar over R. Kelly’s pissing on pubescent girls came back into the media spotlight. Such is the […]


R. Kelly Hates On The Haters Who Hate That He Hate Fucks Teens

December 19, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

R. Kelly is once again defending himself against allegations of past sexual misconduct with underaged girls. You know, like when he fucked a couple of teen girls in a sex tape and peed on them. Stuff like that. This is in the wake of the release of his latest album Black Panties. R. Kelly has […]