Ray Lewis Is The Arbiter Of Good

By Matt September 15, 2014 @ 7:25 AM

RL

Ray Lewis jumped on board the Ray Rice Shame Train and made some comments which would seem reasonable had they not come from a guy everyone believes was involved in a double homicide. Lewis is an exclusive club of dudes who are not only able to get away with murder but also scrub any mention of it from the collective conscience and then get a TV gig and a statue. Its probably those rimmed glasses or some info wars thing that ESPN is doing since its against Disney’s policy to employ known throat slashers. Lewis makes a special point to distance himself from Rice:

“There is no comparison between me and Ray Rice. It’s night and day.”

True, Ray Rice punches women, you stab men. Also Ray prefers ankle socks and you like knee-highs. Spotting the chance to jump on a guy who might just be sitting a couple rungs beneath himself on the moral turpitude chart:

“This is a tragic situation what Ray Rice did was inexcusable, there’s no room in our world for what we’ve seen.”

No matter how bad things get in this world, you can always count on Ray Lewis to make super obvious generalized statements and hide a bunch of your bloody clothes in his limo, as needed. Ray is a simple man. He might stab you to death, but he’ll hold the door open for your granny when she comes to ID your body.

Photo Credit: Getty Images 

Ray Lewis Statue Unveiled in Baltimore

By Lex September 04, 2014 @ 1:51 PM

Ray-Lewis-Statue-Unveiled-in-Baltimore

Some people think Ray Lewis and the way he kind of took part in a double murder didn’t deserve an NFL career, let alone an honorary statue outside the Ravens stadium. Those people simply do not understand how sports work.  Hometown fans will forgive a valuable player more sins than his own mother. When Kobe flew back from his rape trial for the Lakers game, fans gave him a standing ovation. People in San Francisco will still tell you with a straight face that Barry Bonds cranium grew two sizes larger due to listening to books on tape. Ravens fans just gave Ray Rice a standing ovation in preseason for having the courage to overcome the trauma of punching of his girlfriend in the face. Ray Lewis got a statue today and did his stupid squirrel dance and everybody cheered as the dead guys from 2000 tried to force a shit out of heaven. But it never came. If I was a Ravens fan, I probably would’ve been there screaming my fucking head off.