Janay Rice Over The Line

August 6, 2015 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Janay Rice did an interview for ESPN’s Outside the Lines because they ran out of people to exploit this week and there’s a revolving rolodex marked People Who Call Back. Janay repeatedly objected to Ray being called a “Wife beater” because technically he’s a fiancee beater and that’s not nearly as bad. She also denied she […]

READ MORE

Ray Rice Is Now A Model Husband

January 16, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Ray Rice threw a birthday party for his wife and bought her a name brand purse so it looks like everything is fine now. Janay Rice then had the nerve to caption a photo on Instagram with: “I literally have the best husband in the world. He went above and beyond to make my birthday special.” […]

READ MORE

Janay Rice Possibly Just Kinky (VIDEO)

December 23, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

New video of the Ray and Janay Rice elevator brawl appears to show them intimately kissing each other while handcuffed and being escorted out of the casino. I’m not condoning violence against women, but this begs the honest question: What if that’s just what they’re into? If two guys can shove mayonnaise jars up each other’s asses […]

READ MORE

Ray Rice’s Wife Has Faith

December 2, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Ray Rice’s wife talked to Matt Lauer as he was pretending to pay attention while looking through his Little Black Book of his friend’s wives he is going to bang. Janay Rice believes it was divine intervention that led her fiance to pull a King Hippo across her face. “I feel like God chose me […]

READ MORE

Ray Rice Back In the Job Market

December 1, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

An appeals judge ruled that Roger Goodell is a fucking liar and didn’t discover any new evidence after first suspending Ray Rice just a couple games then later changing it until the end of time because of public pressure. Rice is now eligible to join whatever team will embrace the big old girlfriend slugging teddy […]

READ MORE

Ray Rice Momentarily Accepted

November 25, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

It’s hard being a pariah in America these days. Ray Rice is doing all the right things to put the ball back in his court. He’s been baptized and limits his booze intake solely to fortified wine. He even takes his sick dog to the vet. That’s where he met Rachel, a fine looking young […]

READ MORE

Ray Rice Praying For Pranksters

October 29, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Ray Rice and his punch drunk wife let it be known they are praying for the people dressing as abusive Ray Rice for Halloween. Apparently the pair disapproves of those who would make light of domestic violence, as opposed to those who flagrantly traffic in it. What Rice fails to understand is the people dressing as […]

READ MORE

Claudia Romani Bikini All Fours And Shit Around The Web

October 28, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Rather than importing Ebola and bauxite, we should think about stepping up the number of foreign girls who crawl on all fours on the beaches of this great country. Ebola, kills. Bauxite, no clue what that is. Hot girls in bikinis with their ass in the air? We have to agree that’s good for America. […]

READ MORE

Ray Rice Might Play And Shit Around The Web

October 20, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

It looks like Ray Rice’s indefinite suspension may not be so indefinite. He may get to play as soon as next month. If you think about it, he’s less likely to hit his wife if he gets to spend Sundays with the guys. If you think about it. Read all about Ray Rice’s lucky break. […]

READ MORE

Ray Rice Claims He Was Mis-Framed

September 22, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Ray Rice’s chief line of defense in appealing his indefinite suspension from the NFL will reportedly be that his World Star Hip Hop Wife Fight was unfairly edited. The video making rounds was released by TMZ, and aside from it sparking an unsolicited meltdown from your one lesbian friend at Happy Hour, it also fucked […]

READ MORE