Wednesday headlines, with over caffeinated Renee Zellweger

By brendon July 27, 2011 @ 1:06 PM

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AMY WINEHOUSES – dad Mitch is setting up a foundation to help people struggling with addiction. And not a moment too soon! (fox)

FRANK DARABONT – is leaving his position as show-runner on ‘The Walking Dead’. Darabont adapted the show, wrote or co-wrote all of season 1, and directed the premiere. It’s not clear if he’ll still act as executive producer or why he’s leaving. Just between us, I’m not saying he got caught fucking a baby, but I’m not not saying that either. (the wrap)

GEORGE LUCAS – lost a lawsuit he filed against the designer that created the original Stormtrooper costume, who sells replicas in England. Lucas (net worth: $3.2 billion) claimed a copyright violation and feels he should be the only one who makes any money off Star Wars, regardless of whether or not anyone else deserves too. His case was hurt when he went on the stand clutching bags with dollar signs and said, “I want all the money, me, gimmie, it’s mine, all of it!” (bbc)

RON HOWARD – directed ‘The Da Vinci Code’ and ‘Angels & Demons’, but will not direct the third Dan Brown book starring the Tom Hanks character Robert Langdon. “The first two took place in Paris and Rome, but this one is in Washington, which is a terrifying shithole,” Howard probably said. (deadline)

RENEE ZELLWEGER – was either sent on a Starbucks run yesterday or is still pee’ing right now. (image source = wenn)

was Bradley Cooper cheating with Jessica Biel?

By brendon March 21, 2011 @ 11:58 AM

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Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger announced this weekend that they had broken up after dating for about 2 years, and popeater makes it sound like it was simply a case of two people being at different points in their lives.

“She’s 41 and has an Oscar. She’s starting to think about children and settling down while Bradley loves his life exactly as it is. It’s taken him a long time to be an A-list actor, and he’s enjoying all the perks, fame and opportunities that have come his way following ‘The Hangover.’”

Star however is here to whore that shit up.

Bradley was sneaking around behind Renée’s back with Hollywood hotties Sandra Bullock and Jessica Biel — and there are photos to prove it!
One of the pictures shows the actor leaving a hotel minutes apart from one of the beauties and an eyewitness told Star they looked “flustered and unkempt.”

I’m not gonna lie to you, unless the hotel they’re talking about only has one room, that’s maybe not the strongest body of evidence I’ve ever seen. Just because you’re around someone who is flustered doesn’t mean you get to have sex with them. If that was the case I would just dry hump Megan Fox down the street.

Renee Zellweger knows how to pick workout clothes

By brendon November 17, 2010 @ 1:08 PM

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This is why everyone hates women. Renee Zellweger wears a pair of tights to the gym that looks like something you’d wear to be an anatomy class model, oh, but if I get caught looking at her toaster, suddenly I’M the pervert here right? What does she have on under that jacket, blinking Christmas light wrapped around her tits?

(source = fame)

RENEE ZELLWEGER IS TRAUMATIZED

By brendon April 04, 2008 @ 10:10 AM

Renee Zellweger was on Letterman last night and of course Dave brought up Tracey Ullman's impression of her.  Renee called it, "my reason for calling a therapist for the next six months… the reason I'm growing my hair out. Every time I look in the mirror I see Tracey Ullman." You have to wade through 2 minutes of small talk, but you can see the impression in the clip above.  It’s pretty GD amazing.  When asked for a follow up, Renee said, "who said that?!?! Who's there?!?!"  And then she tried to run away but instead bonked into a wall because she can't see through her slits for eyes.

source = the huffington post



RENEE ZELLWEGER IS DECEPTIVE

By brendon December 06, 2006 @ 10:49 AM

Renee Zellweger has revealed the secret behind her ability to quickly gain weight and then shed it just as fast for different movie roles.  Contact Music says:

Due to filming the Bridget Jones movies, her weight has fluctuated from teeny to plump back to teeny again in a drastic fashion over the past few years.  Promoting her film "Miss Potter", Zellweger, 37, looked stunning in a classic little black dress.  Her secret?  She was only given 20 minutes for lunch on the set of her new film, "Case". "That's all we got on the set…and running around…everywhere, that helps!"

Um, what the hell are you talking about?  First of all, no you didn't.  You're the damn star.  You idiots are coddled like a bomb in a bus full of kids.  You weren't ordered to eat in 20 minutes.  If you were, it was probably because the director didn't want your squinty ass wandering off and getting lost.  This chick is like Mr. Magoo.  Just going to lunch ends up with her stumbling though a construction site and walking into a big pipe as its lifted off the ground and then her stepping onto a girder in mid air and then onto the frame of the building, with endless catastrophe only a second away.  Then she wanders into a tiger cage and says "nice doggy" and washes her hands in a urinal before ordering lunch from a bank teller.

I'd still totally hit that, though.



RENEE ZELLWEGER AND GEORGE CLOONEY?

By brendon September 27, 2006 @ 6:23 AM

Renée Zellweger and George Clooney, who dated years ago and may have rekindled things at least for the night last February, had a romantic dinner at the Sunset Tower Hotel last week.  The New York Post says:

Zellweger had just come from the wedding of Vanity Fair West Coast editor Krista Smith to John Hafter and met Clooney at the restaurant where they "cuddled, held hands and then slow danced to the piano music," our spy said. Clooney's rep declined to comment, and Zellweger's rep didn't return calls.

But the Daily News says it was simply to talk casting for "Leatherheads," a football movie that Clooney will direct.  Zellweger would play a chick who walks into things for two hours because she doesn’t open her god damn eyes.  God that bugs me to no end.