08.21.2009 Dumped after one date

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Jennifer Aniston feels “screwed over” after Bradley Cooper took her on one date then never called her desperate, needy ass again.  Because instead he started dating Renee Zellweger. Why would he do this? Because Renee Zellweger is way better that’s why. Us magazine says…

“She wanted to turn her date with Cooper into something…she honestly feels screwed over,” a pal tells Us of Aniston
Aniston “doesn’t see what Renee has that she doesn’t,” continues the pal.
But friends of Zellweger detail why Cooper fell for the “no drama” actress.
“She just does her thing, has her friends and her life and is cool. She’s really happy and doesn’t need anyone to feel complete,” says one.
Despite Cooper’s diss, Aniston will eventually bounce back, her friends insist.
“She had a major crush on him and she let him know. He didn’t reciprocate. She is fine,” her friend tells Us. “She’s used to being single and in work mode, and she’s used to rejection.”

God this chick is dumb. Maybe just maybe the first date isn’t the time to show him the scrapbook you’ve been keeping with all his pictures, the ones where Jennifer Garner and Rachel McAdams all have X’s for eyes. She hasn’t learned a thing. She’s even dumber that that punk ass kid in the Cingualr commercials. The goddamn minutes roll over, what is so hard to understand about that? They’re all the same. Today, last month, last year. Stop being such a smug little prick and listen to your mom.


08.18.2009 My secret shame

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Have you ever had a girl that you could tell wasn’t actually hot but for some reason you found her sexy anyway? Maybe it was the voice or body or whatever but you desperately wanted to have sex with her even though you knew she wasn’t classically pretty. That’s what’s going on for me here. In the black dress. Hubba-hubba!

(6 more pics here. hq jump here. source = splash news online)


06.22.2007 HOLLYWOOD STARS ARE SEXY

The Daily Mail UK says that Renee Zellweger has lost a ton of weight and is now dangerously thin.  The paper says:

Wearing her signature strapless cocktail dress, Renee revealed her bony frame, complete with weird pointy 'nobbles' on her shoulders, sinewy arms, and colt-like legs, topped off with a doll-like head that seemed way too big for her tiny body.
The evolution of Zellweger's rail-thin silhouette is reported to be a result of daily two-hour workouts and 12-mile hikes in the Hollywood Hills.

The good news for Renee is that no one is going to notice as long as she stands next to Sarah Jessica Parker.  Renee might as well be standing next to the sun.  The damage to my eyes and lingering physical pain is about the same.  The army could be shooting rockets at King Kong in the background and I'd still never take my eyes off the goblin in yellow, for fear it would attack me if I let down my guard.