Riff Raff Wants To Date Katy Perry

By Travis March 26, 2014 @ 9:00 AM

Now that she and John Mayer have broken up again, Katy Perry is going to need to find a few rebound guys to date before she eventually gets back together with John, so why not start with one who looks like he just woke up on a strip club bathroom floor? According to rapper Riff Raff, he and Katy went on a date last week, and he gave her the “holy trinity” of “Sushi, bowling and drinks,” which is the most boring and disappointing definition of a holy trinity that could ever come from a guy like Riff Raff. Naturally, because she’s a huge pop star with other-worldly breasts and he’s a guy with two hands, he told TMZ that he’d like to take her out again when she gets back into the country, and he said it all while holding on to another girl’s ass cheek. Katy might as well give this human blackface routine a chance, because it’s not like she’ll ever do worse than John Mayer.

Photo Credit: Riff Raff’s Instagram

Katy Perry And Riff Raff Have The Same Stylist

By Travis August 26, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

I don’t know which is worse: A) That Katy Perry showed up to the MTV Video Music Awards last night with her breasts completely covered up by the rug from a late-70s porn set, B) That Katy Perry rocked the stupid rich white lady wearing a grill schtick less than a week after Madonna’s old, veiny ass did it, or C) That Katy Perry stood on the red carpet and made the same stupid face with her dumb $1,000 grill as Riff Raff did on the very same night.

And it’s a trick multiple choice question, because the answer is: D) That Katy Perry has sex with John Mayer after he wrote a song whining about Taylor Swift.

(Photo Credits: Andres Otero/WENN.com)