Rihanna Booted from Mosque for Vagina Lips

By Lex October 22, 2013 @ 12:28 PM

Rihanna Is Ordered To Leave After A Photoshoot In A Mosque In Abu Dhabi
By fucked up Middle Eastern nation standards, Abu Dhabi is maybe a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10 in jihad craziness. They do love them some crappy Western culture. But they insist on a few Islamic type rules. Even visiting women must be covered head to toe lest men feel desire in their robes and be forced to punish those wanton whores with a light raping and stoning. Rihanna was in country over the weekend and obliged the cover up part, but couldn’t resist striking a few racy poses outside the country’s grand mosque. She was also wearing red lipstick which is a no-no because apparently it looks too much like a vagina. I’m looking now. Fair enough. So, the religious police kicked Rihanna and her mouth snatch out of the mosque while the chief Imam hurled insults about her being no Miley Cyrus. Tough venue.

Photo Credit: Rihanna/Instagram

Chris Brown Called That Time He Beat Up Rihanna A ‘Wake-Up Call’

By Travis October 07, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

In a new interview with The Guardian, Chris Brown opens up about a lot of aspects of his life, from his claim that he lost his virginity at age 8 so he could get started on becoming the greatest sexual being this world has ever known to his belief that the media makes everything up about him and he’s actually a good little boy who just accidentally gets into trouble. But the biggest thing that he talked about was that time that he bounced Rihanna’s face off the window of his car, which he now refers to as a “wake-up call.”

“But at the same time, I learned from it,” he continued, “and it was almost like… I wouldn’t say it happened for a reason, but it was something to trigger my mind to be more of a mature adult. To handle myself in situations, don’t throw tantrums, don’t be a baby about it.” Funny, I remember a lot of the tantrums my little sister threw when she was young, yet I don’t recall any of them ending in this.

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Oh, No, Rihanna Is Raunchy In Her New Music Video

By Lex October 03, 2013 @ 4:57 PM

Rihanna Twerks In A Thong And Works A Stripper Pole In Her New Music Video 'Pour It Up'
How many times can people make a story about Rihanna being raunchy on stage or in her music videos. Yeah, I get it, stripper pole and twerking and showing off her tits. Crazy. We’ve not seen that before since yesterday and the day before. It’s like Starfleet getting pissy about Kirk going rogue. At some point, it’s just no longer worth a scolding lecture. But that doesn’t mean you still can’t look at her tits and all. There’s journalism and then there’s whack material, and never the twain shall meet. This is the latter.

Rihanna Learns How To Work A Stripper Pole For Her New Video

By Lex October 02, 2013 @ 10:41 AM

Rihanna Learns How To Work A Stripper Pole For Her New Video

Photo Credit: Rihanna/Instagram

Rihanna Shares Work Pictures

By Lex September 30, 2013 @ 4:27 PM

Rihanna Posts Behind The Scenes Photos Of Herself In Revealing Jumpsuits Shooting Her New Video
This dustup among tarty attention seeking pop music singers is working out pretty well. It’s kind of like a battle of the bands between girls with no specific musical talent. So they’re just flashing their tits and ass instead. Which is automatically much better than any battle of the bands ever. Say what you will about Miley Cyrus (chinchilla face comes to mind, though that is gratuitous) but she’s raised the bar for getting noticed. Don’t be surprised to see Rihanna with a strap-on in her next music video or Kesha licking a Great Dane’s nut sac. This is how escalation works. Also, mutually assured destruction. Thankfully, there are always more girls.

Photo Credit: Rihanna/Instagram

Rihanna Toys With Deadly Endangered Snuggle Beast

By Jack September 23, 2013 @ 12:53 PM

Rihanna almost died this weekend when she decided to play with a deadly endangered Loris in Thailand. A Loris is a tiny endangered primate that looks like a friendly Ewok but is really a vicious killer. Like many hookers in Thailand, the Loris can secrete a deadly toxin through their elbows which they then use in a shock inducing bite. Any animal that can kill you with its elbows is an animal you want to be wearing on your shoulder for a selfie. Rihanna posed with the beast and then Instagrammed the picture. This pissed a lot of people off. The men who took the picture were quickly arrested for keeping an endangered animal and putting Rihanna’s life in danger. Rihanna was forced to sign autographs for two hours with people who couldn’t pronounce her name. The Loris went back to being the koala bears’ bad- ass cousin.