Rihanna Toys With Deadly Endangered Snuggle Beast

By Jack September 23, 2013 @ 12:53 PM

Rihanna almost died this weekend when she decided to play with a deadly endangered Loris in Thailand. A Loris is a tiny endangered primate that looks like a friendly Ewok but is really a vicious killer. Like many hookers in Thailand, the Loris can secrete a deadly toxin through their elbows which they then use in a shock inducing bite. Any animal that can kill you with its elbows is an animal you want to be wearing on your shoulder for a selfie. Rihanna posed with the beast and then Instagrammed the picture. This pissed a lot of people off. The men who took the picture were quickly arrested for keeping an endangered animal and putting Rihanna’s life in danger. Rihanna was forced to sign autographs for two hours with people who couldn’t pronounce her name. The Loris went back to being the koala bears’ bad- ass cousin.

Rihanna Performs At The 2013 Grand Prix Marina Bay, Singapore

By Lex September 23, 2013 @ 10:35 AM

Rihanna Preforms At The 2013 Grand Prix Marina Bay, Singapore

Photo Credit: Getty, Splash, WENN

Rihanna Has A Lovely New Penis Purse

By Travis September 12, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Always the classiest lady at the party, Rihanna left her hotel in London yesterday looking like she stole the curtains from a restaurant at Epcot and showing off her new gift from Vivienne Westwood – a purse with a giant gold penis on the side. Naturally, because she doesn’t give a shit, Rihanna held the purse in front of her crotch and behaved like men typically do, by sticking her tongue and waving her penis around. Of course, she left out the part where we blow a load and fall asleep. Nice try, Rihanna, but no points for accuracy.

(Photo Credits: Rihanna’s Instagram)

Rihanna Steps Out Braless In New York

By Lex September 06, 2013 @ 10:21 AM

Rihanna Steps Out Braless In Short Shorts In New York

Photo Credit: INFphoto.com

Rihanna Wears A Sports Bra To American Apparel

By Lex August 20, 2013 @ 11:52 AM

Rihanna Wears A Sports Bra To American Apparel In New York

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, PCN

Rihanna Shows Of Her Butt In A Bikini

By Lex August 14, 2013 @ 9:41 AM

Rihanna Shows Of Her Butt In A Bikini On A Boat In Barbados
I like when people have problems but declare them null and void because they ‘own them’. Fat people do this a lot. Their rotund carcasses barely contained in elastic pants like an enormous human sausage. But they own that shit, so it’s a bad thing turned on its head. It’s actually a good thing. I bet Rihanna owns being beat by Chris Brown and then going back to him. You can’t touch her on that one. She owns it. It’s like immunity. The only thing more powerful than owning, is confessing. Once you confess to something, people just forgive the shit out of you. Doing something lousy and then confessing to it is better than not having even done it in the first place. Confess in public, with a tear even, that’s equal to owning shit and confessing to the exponential of fourteen. You can literally get away with murder, or sexting random fat chicks, provided those girls own the fact that their fat. Otherwise, the whole bullshit house of cards implodes and you’re back to just being somebody with a big fucking problem.

Photo Credit: Splash