Like clockwork, Rihanna posted some pictures of her wearing revealing outfits to her Instagram, because God forbid she doesn’t reveal her tits and ass for 20 minutes out of the day. This time Rihanna and her friend were feeling “naughty” and I’m pretty sure that she even invited everyone to put it in her butt. All in all, it’s pretty much what we’ve come to expect from Rihanna these days, which means that it’s only a matter of hours before Miley Cyrus rips it off and claims that it was her very own edgy idea to wear red lingerie on Christmas.
Where does Rihanna fit in? She’s not as skanky as Miley, not as pure teen friendly as Katy Perry, she lacks the talent and ass of Beyonce, and unlike Lady Gaga, if you hooked up with her and your friends asked you where you were last night, you wouldn’t say ‘nowhere’ and try to change the subject. Rihanna just doesn’t fit in. I’d feel sorry for her if she hadn’t made more money last year than the Gross Domestic Product of her home country. She also has spectacular tits. Most women would tell you their life was made full and complete by love and friendship and family and shit like that. But there’s not a one of them that wouldn’t trade that in for $100 million and some spectacular tits. Don’t believe Oprah’s lies.
Photo Credit: Splash
Drake and his late night strip club date, Rihanna, and his posse of twelve dudes who follow him around to falsely compliment him, spent upwards of 100 grand of cash at a Houston strip mall strip club. One of the strippers claims the couple was ‘nice’ and Rihanna even gave her inspiration to pursue who singing career while slapping her ass. I guess I can’t judge Rihanna for being like every other dude I’ve ever gone to a strip club with. For his part, Drake’s hired friends decided it would be a good idea to film each other at the strip club throwing huge amounts of cash around. Then film the girls backstage counting all their cash, you know, just to give some low hanging fruit to the local IRS office. It’d be easy to lament the gratuitous amounts of cash wasted by a pair of young knucklehead singers, but I’d rather look at the glass half full and call it one fortunate evening to have chosen whoring over dental hygienist school.
Photo Credit: Splash
Rihanna is either showing off on the beach, or signaling her gang with messages to move on new turf. It’s hard to tell with her new tattoos. I don’t know when getting inked moved from the purview of guys who had made their bones to pop music stars, but I’m going to go ahead and blame pornography.
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com
Photo Credit: 032C Magazine
Just check out that scary fucking flipper on Rihanna. It’s like the nightmare appendage the Māori parents tell their little kids will come and smother them in their sleep if they don’t clean up the empty beer bottles in their room. It’s hard not to imagine the conundrum of a randy Rihanna offering up a handy and wondering if you could possibly enjoy that tatted paw and those creepy WNBA fingers wrapped around your manhood. I could, but I’m not a particular fellow. I can’t be the standard.
Photo Credit: Rihanna/Instagram