What you see here is a tattoo of Isiris that Rihanna got last night in London, and about an inch above that are boobs, and then about a foot above that is her head. These things are listed in order of importance.
She’s annoying but this is a awesome tat. If i ever tit-fuck her my penis will look like it has wings, soaring majestically above the clouds, just as I imagine it.
Rihanna really is a moron who deserves every mean thing a boyfriend will ever do to her, because when she went on stage at the MTV VMA’s last night, Chris Brown hopped right up and they gave each other a little hug and kiss.
Keep in mind that the last time they were this close at an awards show, he was getting texts from another girl and then beat Rihanna when she found out. Most girls would still be mad just about the texts. And if they were beaten like Rihanna was, the only way they’d speak to you is to tell you what field they threw your penis in after cutting it off in your sleep.
Rihanna was on her yacht off the coast of France today when police on wave runners pulled up and asked her to turn her music down. After that they ticketed a pelican for loitering and chased a seagull who took a potato chip. Keep up the good work, you guys!
Chris Brown, literally the least sympathetic ass-whooping victim on earth, had his ass whooped last night in New York after a fight broke out between him and Drake over Rihanna. “Hahaha”, said Everyone.
Rumor has it that Rihanna cheated on Brown with Drake while the two were going out, and the two have been at loggerheads ever since.
Brown (reportedly) tried to bury the hatchet by sending a bottle of champagne to Drake’s table at New York’s WIP nightclub, but the bottle was promptly returned with a message that read “I’m f*ckng the love of your life [Rihanna], deal with it.”
An altercation ensued, during which Drake allegedly punched Chris in the face before “someone” cracked his chin open with a bottle.
And Brown even tweeted the picture of his busted chin above, because, as it turns out, having someone stronger than you beat your ass for no reason kinda sucks. My only issue is that they were at a club and not a Renaissance fair where Drake could have hit Brown with a mace or pulled him apart with horses.
DELIGHTFUL UPDATE – now with pictures of blood on Browns Escalade, and if you didn’t think he deserved to get smashed in the face with a bottle before, please note that he replaced his Cadillac emblem with one of Optimus Prime.
“See through” doesn’t even begin to describe what Rihanna wore while walking around New York yesterday. The entire outfit, and the way she wears it, barely even qualifies as clothes. It’s more like how a girl would dress if she were trying to frame someone for a rape.
Rihanna looks better than ever seemed possible in her new Armani jeans commercial (watch it here), perhaps because it isn’t possible and it’s not actually her. Or at least that’s what The Sun says today…
Shots which appear to show Rihanna, 24, revealing her bust and bum are in fact an Irish model named Jahnassa Aicken.
Rihanna’s management insisted Jahnassa, 27, sign an order banning her from talking about the job (but) a source told us: “Jahnassa’s torso, body and bum appear in parts of the ad.
I have no idea if they’re right or not, but it does seem as if her boobs doubled in size from one scene (where you can see Rihannas face) to the next (where you can’t). If I even had the slightest idea of how or where to buy Armani jeans I would be outraged by this deception.