Rihanna went on her twitter last night to claim she was on her first date in almost 2 yearz. And I didn’t write “yearz” because I’m racist, but because that’s what she wrote. My racism was merely a coincidence.

Later she added a picture of her “date”, a girl named Melissa Forde, saying she was her “lover for the night”, and soon after that they left The Roxbury hand in hand.

So I guess we’re supposed to think she’s gay now and then carry on about it. And maybe I would have if she had chosen someone hotter. Or if she said this girl answered her craigslist ad looking for someone to eat. But just two 7′s making out? Yeah no thanks.

(image source = splash)

Rihanna is down in Australia this week for the premiere of ‘Battleship’, and tonight she went to dinner wearing what looks like a trench coat and heels and nothing else. And yet only one guy asked her for an autograph. A few other guys asked if she was a cop, and how much for the whole night, baby.

(image source = bauer griffin)

Rihanna was at a press conference for ‘Battleship’ in London today, and instead of, “No seriously why in the fuck are there aliens in this movie,” a reporter asked about Ashton Kutcher. And then Rihanna huffed and threw a little hissy fit.

SEXY SOUNDING REPORTER: “You’re so good with connecting with people, that I think that we actually feel we know you. Things are clearly going brilliantly in your career. I just wondered if you are as happy in your private life. Will we be seeing a certain Mr. Kutcher perhaps making a trip over here?”
CUNTY SOUNDING SINGER: “Wow, how disappointing was that question … I’m happy and I’m single, if that’s what you’re really asking.”

Oh pardon me your majesty. I don’t talk like a fancy lady from England but if I did I would have told Rihanna to fuck off in secret English code. And the producers should be glad she asked, anything to take attention away from how stupid this movie looks. The could frame Liam Neeson for killing his wife for all I care.

(image source = getty)