By Lex August 08, 2013 @ 4:43 PM
Rihanna posted a picture of her ass on Instagram when her alarm went off indicating that nobody had been talking about her for over an hour. It’s not as bad as a couple years back when she found out nobody had been talking about her for an entire weekend so she got Chris Brown to punch her in the face. If she’s ever out of the spotlight for more than ten days, watch out for a school shooting.
Photo Credit: Rihanna/Instagram
By Lex August 06, 2013 @ 11:55 AM
Rihanna never shies from pride in her small island nation of Barbados, noted for its tourism and mob friendly offshore banking. A couple times a year Rihanna dons the local festival costumery, gets loaded, and flashes her tits and ass. It’s like Mardis Gras in New Orleans but with much better looking drunks.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Lex July 23, 2013 @ 5:08 PM
The people of Sweden are very progressive. Much like the rest of Northern Europe. They teach the young ones about sex at a very early age. They give them lots of condoms and let them sculpt STDs in bio-degradable foam in their classrooms. So nobody makes babies and the population declines and they have to import tons of people from dangerous parts of the world to fill out their labor force. But now they have Rihanna showing her tits off. Maybe some guys there with nipple piercing fetishes will go nuts and make lots of babies and turn shit around.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex July 18, 2013 @ 5:25 PM
I’ll say this about British people, they are a cheeky lot. When Rihanna showed up late to yet another concert, fans in Manchester started pelting the stage with potato chips. I’m not sure if this is in response to her Utz-parody Slutz shirt she wore the other day or it’s just causality from ‘chips’ being served at every single British venue anywhere ever (those pasty white people love their fucking chips). But it’s still fucking funny. Even if you discount for the fact that the people throwing the shit in disgust are people who willingly shelled out $100 to see Rihanna in concert in the first place. The brain dead still have the right to call out obnoxious behavior. By the time Rihanna got to her third ‘fuck’ into the microphone, you could tell she had it all under control.
By Lex July 17, 2013 @ 12:24 PM
I could look it up, but I’m guessing Slutz is some designer’s parody attempt to ‘take back’ the term colloquially used to degrade promiscuous women and turn it into a female ‘sex-positive’ statement. Like when girls started wearing Playboy logos. Or proudly took the term bitch and made it into a compliment on reality shows. I’ve never understood the idea of taking back traditionally denigrating terms. It’s mostly just led to rappers dropping the N-bomb seventeen times per single and every gay creative in Hollywood falling over themselves to use the word queer as much as humanly possible. Has this terminology game done anything to advance the cause of social tolerance and enlightenment? Nah. But I bet impressionable teen girls can soon buy those Slutz tees in stores for $65.
Photo Credit: PCN,Splash
By Lex July 16, 2013 @ 3:00 PM
Rihanna can do shit like going shopping in fancy French stores in her bathing suit, because, fuck you, she’s Rihanna. I kind of like that actually. I once tried to get a hot dog at a mini-mart in just my swimsuit bottoms and the store owner cursed me out in a string of utterances that would later be translated roughly to ‘I am doctor in my home country. Get out, white blob!’ I bet Rihanna doesn’t hear shit like that. But her average purchase is probably higher than 79-cents.
Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin